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Rage 03/02/2026

parazit

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a whore’s hotel room
dnr because it’s long so i don’t care click off now.

there used to be a time when i started this by saying “i’m posting this for myself and people who acttualy care”.
nobody ever cared but that’s not the issue
i don’t even do it for myself anymore
every day feels like a horrible chore
i wake up every day to follow my “dream”
i spend time in school with uninteresting retards and dream of attention from a foid
everyday feels like i’m drowning or im being strangolare and i barely hold back my tears
jestering feels weird now because i pull it off so well and then when i start laughing with crying i don’t know if the tears are because of the joke or myself.
i have so many bad things i blocked out but they always come back.
i tried so hard to change myself and i always fail.
i go to my extra lessons to get better at the subjects which are going to be in my future deciding exam in june.
i get home tired only to look in the mirror and hate myself.
then my mother walks in tells me i’m not good enough and i need to work harder.
and then i hate myself.
and i go to bed and hope i don’t wake up.

every time i step onto an elevator i pray the cable snaps and i crash down.
every time i cross the street i pray for a big truck to crush me.
every time i walk under balconies from apartments i hope someone will drop a big thing on top of my head and crush me.
every time i eat something i hope i choke and i die.
 
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