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>like any of them. I could not bear the sneers; I could not get on with my schoolfellows as lightly as they did with one another. I hated them from the first, and shut myself away from them in shy, wounded and exorbitant pride.
>Their crudeness revolted me. They jeered at my looks and my clumsy figure; and yet how stupid their own faces were! In our school everybody’s face seemed to acquire gradually a peculiarly stupid and degenerate expression so revolting to look at. Even at sixteen I was morosely amazed at the triviality of their ideas and the stupidity of their pursuits, their games, and their talk. They had so little understanding of the most essential things, so little interest in the most inspiring subjects, that I could not help looking on them as my inferiors.
>It was not wounded vanity that made me do so, and for God’s sake don’t come down on me with such sickeningly familiar retorts as that I was only a dreamer and they already understood real life. They understood nothing at all of real life and that, I swear, is what I found most revolting in them. On the contrary, indeed, their reception of the most obvious and self-evident reality was fantastically stupid, and even by that time they had grown used to worshipping nothing but success. Everything honourable, but humble and downtrodden, they greeted with disgraceful and unfeeling laughter.
>They thought rank was intellect; at sixteen they were already discussing snug little berths. Of course there was a good deal of stupidity in all this, as well as of the bad examples that always surrounded their childhood and adolescence. They were monstrously lewd. Even in this, of course, there was mostly outward show and obviously artificial cynicism; youth and a certain freshness gleamed even through the vice; but even their freshness was unattractive, taking the form of a sort of childish naughtiness. I abominated them, although I was perhaps worse
>Their crudeness revolted me. They jeered at my looks and my clumsy figure; and yet how stupid their own faces were! In our school everybody’s face seemed to acquire gradually a peculiarly stupid and degenerate expression so revolting to look at. Even at sixteen I was morosely amazed at the triviality of their ideas and the stupidity of their pursuits, their games, and their talk. They had so little understanding of the most essential things, so little interest in the most inspiring subjects, that I could not help looking on them as my inferiors.
>It was not wounded vanity that made me do so, and for God’s sake don’t come down on me with such sickeningly familiar retorts as that I was only a dreamer and they already understood real life. They understood nothing at all of real life and that, I swear, is what I found most revolting in them. On the contrary, indeed, their reception of the most obvious and self-evident reality was fantastically stupid, and even by that time they had grown used to worshipping nothing but success. Everything honourable, but humble and downtrodden, they greeted with disgraceful and unfeeling laughter.
>They thought rank was intellect; at sixteen they were already discussing snug little berths. Of course there was a good deal of stupidity in all this, as well as of the bad examples that always surrounded their childhood and adolescence. They were monstrously lewd. Even in this, of course, there was mostly outward show and obviously artificial cynicism; youth and a certain freshness gleamed even through the vice; but even their freshness was unattractive, taking the form of a sort of childish naughtiness. I abominated them, although I was perhaps worse
