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Why You’re Stuck
What’s the one thing that holds most people back? Confidence. Or rather, the lack of it. But here’s the good news: it’s more fixable than you think. Why? Because confidence is a mental state, and just like you change your clothes each day, you can change your thoughts.
If you can talk yourself into fear, you can also talk yourself into courage. The same mind that builds mental walls can also tear them down. If you’re capable of constructing a tower of doubt, you’re just as capable of dismantling it.
Confidence Doesn’t Just Show Up
Here’s the truth: waiting for confidence to arrive on its own simply doesn’t work.
Confidence relies on evidence, not on hoping for the best. What does that mean? Telling yourself vague affirmations and crossing your fingers won’t lead to lasting confidence. If you’ve never done something before, you have no proof that you can. And without proof, you won’t feel confident.
Think about something you currently feel unconfident about. Most likely, it’s because you have no prior experience, no evidence that you can succeed.
The Only Way Out Is Through
The key is this: action comes before confidence. If you want to build confidence, you must first act. Yes, you’ll feel awkward. You will even embarrass yourself. But that’s exactly the point. The moment of discomfort is an investment in future confidence.
Think of it this way: confidence is an exclusive private club, and embarrassment is the cost of entry. Burn this into your mind: embarrassment is the cost of entry to confidence.
Now, this might sound like I'm telling you to "just do it" and in simple terms, I am.
But here’s the important difference: I’m also asking you to become aware of why you feel unconfident. Understanding the reason behind your hesitation makes it easier to recognize the pattern next time, and much easier to manage the situation. Don’t underestimate the power of this self awareness.
What to do?
You won’t feel confident doing something new until you do it. Expect that initial discomfort. Be willing to look silly and learn. Take action now to build the evidence you’ll need for future confidence.
So what do you do? Break big tasks into smaller steps. Do them at a level that challenges you but doesn’t paralyze you with fear. For example, if speaking to a crowd terrifies you, start by sharing a short idea in a small group. It’s still a stretch, but not overwhelming. Every anxiety provoking task can be scaled down. Gradually increasing your exposure to discomfort is where you build the real confidence.
It’s simple. You only become confident by doing uncomfortable things. But each time you face that discomfort, you stop feeling uncomfortable.
Remember:
TL;DR: Confidence doesn’t come first, it comes after action. Waiting until you feel confident is a mistake. Instead, start small, embrace discomfort, and take steps that stretch you without overwhelming you. Confidence grows through experience, and yes, embarrassment is often the price you pay to get in the door.
What’s the one thing that holds most people back? Confidence. Or rather, the lack of it. But here’s the good news: it’s more fixable than you think. Why? Because confidence is a mental state, and just like you change your clothes each day, you can change your thoughts.
If you can talk yourself into fear, you can also talk yourself into courage. The same mind that builds mental walls can also tear them down. If you’re capable of constructing a tower of doubt, you’re just as capable of dismantling it.
Confidence Doesn’t Just Show Up
Here’s the truth: waiting for confidence to arrive on its own simply doesn’t work.
Confidence relies on evidence, not on hoping for the best. What does that mean? Telling yourself vague affirmations and crossing your fingers won’t lead to lasting confidence. If you’ve never done something before, you have no proof that you can. And without proof, you won’t feel confident.
Think about something you currently feel unconfident about. Most likely, it’s because you have no prior experience, no evidence that you can succeed.
The Only Way Out Is Through
The key is this: action comes before confidence. If you want to build confidence, you must first act. Yes, you’ll feel awkward. You will even embarrass yourself. But that’s exactly the point. The moment of discomfort is an investment in future confidence.
Think of it this way: confidence is an exclusive private club, and embarrassment is the cost of entry. Burn this into your mind: embarrassment is the cost of entry to confidence.
Now, this might sound like I'm telling you to "just do it" and in simple terms, I am.
But here’s the important difference: I’m also asking you to become aware of why you feel unconfident. Understanding the reason behind your hesitation makes it easier to recognize the pattern next time, and much easier to manage the situation. Don’t underestimate the power of this self awareness.
What to do?
You won’t feel confident doing something new until you do it. Expect that initial discomfort. Be willing to look silly and learn. Take action now to build the evidence you’ll need for future confidence.
So what do you do? Break big tasks into smaller steps. Do them at a level that challenges you but doesn’t paralyze you with fear. For example, if speaking to a crowd terrifies you, start by sharing a short idea in a small group. It’s still a stretch, but not overwhelming. Every anxiety provoking task can be scaled down. Gradually increasing your exposure to discomfort is where you build the real confidence.
It’s simple. You only become confident by doing uncomfortable things. But each time you face that discomfort, you stop feeling uncomfortable.
Remember:
- Action comes before confidence
- Embarrassment is the cost of entry
TL;DR: Confidence doesn’t come first, it comes after action. Waiting until you feel confident is a mistake. Instead, start small, embrace discomfort, and take steps that stretch you without overwhelming you. Confidence grows through experience, and yes, embarrassment is often the price you pay to get in the door.
may the glory days of abo not be forgotten (i'm apart of this problem but it doesn't matter)
