foreverlooksminning
Chanel ceo
Think about it - even after you had improved your looks, got jacked, or whatever the fuck you wanted to do, you will still be in the exact same postion as you are now.
You simply don't have a way of making friends - that migh be because your social skills are poor, but what's more likely is that you dont even have an opportunity. There's no place for you to make friends.
The most important thing you need to have in order to form a new relationship (romantic or platonic) is TIME. You simply need to spend enough time together to become familliar.
Ever wonder why in HS even the most unprobable relationships happen? How the below average guy ends up dating the hottest girl? How the nerd befriends the football team captain?
Its because they are forced to spend time together for YEARS. Its no wonder relationships happen. They are forced to really get to know each other - not just surface level bullshit.
Why is it, that as you get older, every relationship you have is pretty much just an acquaintance? It's becasue as you get older, your life get busier, so if you want to interact with a person you need to MAKE TIME for them. And that simply is nothing like HS where wasting hours on trivial bullshit is not an issue, where the environment is set up in such a way that there is 0 pressure on you - after all youre spending the next day with them, next week, next month...
In adult world, when you make time to see someone, there's immense pressure for that social interaction to be 'good' or 'enjoyable'.
But it takes a rare level of social skills and extroversion to be able to enjoy a social interaction with a person that's not familliar to you.
Let's look at the most common places people make actual lifelong friends:
Highschool
Sport
Religious groups
Extracurricular activities
What do they all have in common?
1) you join when you're young, and stay there for years
2) there is an underlying activity you do together
Now, is there a place like this but for adults? Not really in my opinion.
You have the gym - but for some reason its an unwritten rule to not talk to strangers in the gym. Especially women.
Workplace? Probably not going to be your age group, the amount of people you meet is low but nevertheless, this will be the place where you make most of your social connections
Army? Could work, but it's not for everyone, fucks up your entire lifestyle and you wont meet any women anyway.
So you dont have a place or an opportunity to meet anybody, but thats not all - there's the fact that almost everybody already has a solid friendgroup that they have had since middleschool or HS or basically since they were young. You will never reach that status with anyone. Even if you did find a compatible person, and did have the opportunity to spend enough time together, you still will be just an acquaintance to him. Why? Because he doesent exactly need a "best friend" he already has one - multiple actually. A whole group.
One more thing - lest say there is an opportunity, lets say there is a compatible person (that's looking for a friend), theres another problem - what you want to do is very likely different from they want to do. Think about it, they have spend theur entire teenage years partying, chasing girls, hanging out and doing random bullshit - so the exact thing you want to do. But they have already lived that life, how are you going to convince a 25 yo to pack his bag and go on a roadtrip with no plan and no cash to make memories? You wont. They have already done it, they are past that life chapter.
So by now there's a fucking lot thats holding you back - weak social skills from loner teenage years, no opportunity to improve them or to even meet people, huge disconnect in values (because you are essentially a mentally stunted 15 yo) and them already having friends with years of history.
This is the biggest problem 90% of users on this site have. Not looks, looks can only speed the process up, but there is no replacement for the process of creating a bond.
You simply don't have a way of making friends - that migh be because your social skills are poor, but what's more likely is that you dont even have an opportunity. There's no place for you to make friends.
The most important thing you need to have in order to form a new relationship (romantic or platonic) is TIME. You simply need to spend enough time together to become familliar.
Ever wonder why in HS even the most unprobable relationships happen? How the below average guy ends up dating the hottest girl? How the nerd befriends the football team captain?
Its because they are forced to spend time together for YEARS. Its no wonder relationships happen. They are forced to really get to know each other - not just surface level bullshit.
Why is it, that as you get older, every relationship you have is pretty much just an acquaintance? It's becasue as you get older, your life get busier, so if you want to interact with a person you need to MAKE TIME for them. And that simply is nothing like HS where wasting hours on trivial bullshit is not an issue, where the environment is set up in such a way that there is 0 pressure on you - after all youre spending the next day with them, next week, next month...
In adult world, when you make time to see someone, there's immense pressure for that social interaction to be 'good' or 'enjoyable'.
But it takes a rare level of social skills and extroversion to be able to enjoy a social interaction with a person that's not familliar to you.
Let's look at the most common places people make actual lifelong friends:
Highschool
Sport
Religious groups
Extracurricular activities
What do they all have in common?
1) you join when you're young, and stay there for years
2) there is an underlying activity you do together
Now, is there a place like this but for adults? Not really in my opinion.
You have the gym - but for some reason its an unwritten rule to not talk to strangers in the gym. Especially women.
Workplace? Probably not going to be your age group, the amount of people you meet is low but nevertheless, this will be the place where you make most of your social connections
Army? Could work, but it's not for everyone, fucks up your entire lifestyle and you wont meet any women anyway.
So you dont have a place or an opportunity to meet anybody, but thats not all - there's the fact that almost everybody already has a solid friendgroup that they have had since middleschool or HS or basically since they were young. You will never reach that status with anyone. Even if you did find a compatible person, and did have the opportunity to spend enough time together, you still will be just an acquaintance to him. Why? Because he doesent exactly need a "best friend" he already has one - multiple actually. A whole group.
One more thing - lest say there is an opportunity, lets say there is a compatible person (that's looking for a friend), theres another problem - what you want to do is very likely different from they want to do. Think about it, they have spend theur entire teenage years partying, chasing girls, hanging out and doing random bullshit - so the exact thing you want to do. But they have already lived that life, how are you going to convince a 25 yo to pack his bag and go on a roadtrip with no plan and no cash to make memories? You wont. They have already done it, they are past that life chapter.
So by now there's a fucking lot thats holding you back - weak social skills from loner teenage years, no opportunity to improve them or to even meet people, huge disconnect in values (because you are essentially a mentally stunted 15 yo) and them already having friends with years of history.
This is the biggest problem 90% of users on this site have. Not looks, looks can only speed the process up, but there is no replacement for the process of creating a bond.
