Deleted Member 71932
beta male
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Yes, you read that right.
After years of lurking, cope-maxxing, and trying every supplement from zinc to unicorn bone powder, I accidentally discovered the ultimate jawline enhancer — and it was sitting in my kitchen the whole time.
THE THEORY
Microwaves operate on electromagnetic waves. Your skin and bone absorb them slightly. If aimed strategically (see below), they can stimulate jawbone density, reduce facial fat, and subtly resharpen mandible contours.
This is looksmaxxing 3.0. You’re welcome.
MY METHOD (DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME — or do. I’m not your dad.)
1. Disassemble your microwave.
• Take the magnetron out.
• Wear aluminum foil hat (precautionary).
• Optional: Call your local hospital in advance.
2. Create a “jaw chamber” using a shoebox and mirrors.
• Redirect the waves to your lower face only.
• Think: Hadron Collider but for your bone halo.
3. 15-second bursts, 3x a week.
• I used a stopwatch, 2 Red Bulls, and a dream.
THE RESULTS
After just 2 weeks:
• Jaw went from Chud to low Chad.
• Tinder matches up 300%.
• I walked past a mirror and the reflection flinched.
• My own mom asked if I got filler. I didn’t. I just radiated.
I know you have questions. Let me answer some of them straight away:
Q: Isn’t this dangerous?
A: Only if you’re weak.
Q: Why not just mew?
A: Mewing is for beginners. This is quantum mewing.
Q: Can I do this for my canthal tilt?
A: That’s next. Stay tuned.
So, let me re-iterate this again for you. Most of you are out here wasting time with falim gum, mewing, bonesmashing or every other cope in the book. Meanwhile, I’m out here walking around with an apple-slicing jawline. Don't believe me? Just give my method a chance and see it for yourself.
After years of lurking, cope-maxxing, and trying every supplement from zinc to unicorn bone powder, I accidentally discovered the ultimate jawline enhancer — and it was sitting in my kitchen the whole time.
THE THEORY
Microwaves operate on electromagnetic waves. Your skin and bone absorb them slightly. If aimed strategically (see below), they can stimulate jawbone density, reduce facial fat, and subtly resharpen mandible contours.
This is looksmaxxing 3.0. You’re welcome.
MY METHOD (DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME — or do. I’m not your dad.)
1. Disassemble your microwave.
• Take the magnetron out.
• Wear aluminum foil hat (precautionary).
• Optional: Call your local hospital in advance.
2. Create a “jaw chamber” using a shoebox and mirrors.
• Redirect the waves to your lower face only.
• Think: Hadron Collider but for your bone halo.
3. 15-second bursts, 3x a week.
• I used a stopwatch, 2 Red Bulls, and a dream.
THE RESULTS
After just 2 weeks:
• Jaw went from Chud to low Chad.
• Tinder matches up 300%.
• I walked past a mirror and the reflection flinched.
• My own mom asked if I got filler. I didn’t. I just radiated.
I know you have questions. Let me answer some of them straight away:
Q: Isn’t this dangerous?
A: Only if you’re weak.
Q: Why not just mew?
A: Mewing is for beginners. This is quantum mewing.
Q: Can I do this for my canthal tilt?
A: That’s next. Stay tuned.
So, let me re-iterate this again for you. Most of you are out here wasting time with falim gum, mewing, bonesmashing or every other cope in the book. Meanwhile, I’m out here walking around with an apple-slicing jawline. Don't believe me? Just give my method a chance and see it for yourself.
