The perfect woman being an hourglass goth/latina who’s a conspiracy theorist, a casual racist, with brainrot humor, and ISNT a hello kitty girl.
I know it sounds very picky, and it is, but I won’t settle for less and neither should you.
One would assume that since every girl is different, a one-size-fits-all strategy to find such a specific niche of baddie wouldn’t work right?
WRONG
I put together a guide on how to find and attract hourglass-bodied, hot goth or Latina/Italiana baddies both digitally and IRL. I’ll focus on where they hang out, what kind of content gets their attention, and how to approach in a way that aligns with their psychology. This is from experience.
Find Their Haunts (Online & Offline)
Hit the Right Online Platforms:
Red Flags & Fatal Errors (What NOT to Do)
Don’t Fetishize or Fanboy:
Generic Moves:
Being a Normie Buzzfuck:
Remember, these women have seen every low-effort attempt in the book. If you can target the right platforms/places and avoiding the obvious pitfalls, you set yourself apart from the simps and normies and pull fine shyt easily.
I know it sounds very picky, and it is, but I won’t settle for less and neither should you.
One would assume that since every girl is different, a one-size-fits-all strategy to find such a specific niche of baddie wouldn’t work right?
WRONG
I put together a guide on how to find and attract hourglass-bodied, hot goth or Latina/Italiana baddies both digitally and IRL. I’ll focus on where they hang out, what kind of content gets their attention, and how to approach in a way that aligns with their psychology. This is from experience.
Find Their Haunts (Online & Offline)
Hit the Right Online Platforms:
- TikTok & Instagram – Prime hunting grounds. Search tags like #gothgirl, #altgirl, #egirl, #instabaddie, #latinabaddie and even humor tags like #darkhumor or #conspiracytiktok . These tags lead you to profiles of gothic alt queens and curvy baddies showing off their style. Follow a few, engage with their content, and note what memes or music they share.
- Twitter/X – Find edgy meme accounts and Kanye fan circles. Many “slightly deranged” online personas thrive on Twitter. Follow accounts that tweet cynical humor, pop-culture rants, or conspiracy jokes – the kind your target might retweet. Jump into discussions with witty takes (more on humor below) to get noticed.
- Reddit & Discord – Join subcultures. Subreddits like r/goth, r/alternative, r/conspiracy (for the irony), or niche subs for dark music/fashion can be gold mines. Likewise, Discord servers tagged goth girls or alt lifestyles let you mingle in a semi-private space . Pro tip: Don’t barge in drooling; contribute to conversations about music, fashion, or crazy tinfoil-hat theories. Let them see your personality organically before you make a move.
- Alt Clubs & Events – Hit up local goth nights, industrial music clubs, or alt bars. In SoCal, for example, venues like Bar Sinister in LA or niche events (tattoo expos, underground music gigs) are crawling with goth babes and baddies in the wild. You’ll stand out by actually showing up IRL where they are.
- Niche Hangouts – Think beyond mainstream clubs. Try record stores, retro arcades, metal/rock concerts, horror movie screenings or even eclectic coffee shops known for open-mic poetry or conspiracy meetups. These offbeat spots attract the kind of sarcastic, non-mainstream women you’re after.
- Cultural/Community Events – For Latina or Italiana “baddies,” look at events like Latin music nights, streetwear pop-ups, or art shows. The curvy Insta-model type might be hosting a booth at a car meet or dancing at a reggaeton party. Be there, dress sharp, and be ready with confident banter if you cross paths. (Remember: wherever you go, read the room – don’t show up at a goth event in Abercrombie pastels, and don’t roll into a Latina fashion event looking like you just left a your basement. Blend in.)
- Fashion & Style – Little touches can signal big things. Wear all-black with one statement piece (rings, nails, a subtle eyeliner) when you might be seen on video or pics – it’s like a bat-signal to goth/alt girls. For baddies, display good grooming and maybe a touch of flash (a clean chain, fresh sneakers) to show you have swagger. The idea isn’t to cosplay as something you’re not, but to show you can swim in their waters. You don’t have to dress goth, but being a bit “weird, alternative” in style is a good start.
- Pop Culture – Reference the shit they love. Niche Netflix docu on witches, etc. or share a meme about Mercury in retrograde. These women often bond over oddly specific interests – showing that you’re in on the same wavelength creates a sense of shared essence that boosts attraction . Psychologically, people gravitate towards those who share their unique quirks and niche tastes, perceiving a “shared reality” and understanding .
- Use Story Replies – The most fluid way to DM is replying to a Story or tweet where you genuinely fuck w it . This shows you’re attentive without coming off as thirsty.
- Keep It Short – Especially at first. A DM should feel like a casual ping. End with an open-ended question if it fits naturally. Give her something to respond to, but don’t interrogate.
- Stay Chill – When she replies or even when you’re in her comments, avoid overly eager responses. Match her energy. If she makes you wait 3 hours, maybe you wait 3.5 before your next. You’re showing that you have a life and you’re not just drooling at your screen waiting (even if you are). Maintaining a bit of detachment shows high value – you’re interested, but not a dog on a leash.
- Teasing– Light teasing shows confidence and creates inside jokes. If she says something outrageous, you can reply “You’re retarded
. I might have to start a quote list for you.” Teasing is flirting, but never attack personal insecurities (unless you wanna get dropped like how the doctor dropped me at birth) (don’t joke about her weight, unless you both know you ain’t fat and she ain’t sensitive) (personally I wouldn’t date someone super sensitive but thankfully these girls tend to be edgy). Done right, she’ll find it refreshing that you’re not worshipping her like a simpering cuck fanboy, but actually treating her like an equal you can poke fun at and tease.
- Be a Bit Mysterious – Share pieces of your life, not the whole thing at once. If she asks about your past or hobbies, give her a highlight with a hint there’s more. DO NOT TELL HER EVERYTHING. “Yeah I lived in Italy for like a year, learned two banger pasta recipes and how to summon demons in Latin… Long story.” This makes her curious to unravel you. People are intrigued by those who don’t spill every detail immediately – it creates a sense of depth that she’ll want to explore.
- Switch It Up – In conversation, don’t be one-note. Be funny and comfortably loud one moment, then locked in or quiet in the next. For example, after joking around, you might share a genuine take on something she cares about (“Real talk, that thing you said about feeling alone in crowds – I’ve felt that too, it’s weirdly comforting to hear someone else say it.”). Then pivot to a lighter topic (“but fuck it we ball, did you know that octopuses have detachable dicks?”). This push-pull of light and deep creates appeal.
- Controlled Chaos – Since she has chaotic tendencies, show that you can match her freak. Maybe you randomly suggest at 1 AM, “Let’s both make a cursed Spotify playlist of songs to summon demons to, compare in the morning?” It’s random, fun, and a little retarded – exactly the kind of spontaneous chaotic energy that can spark an obsession. The idea is to create little adventures or running gags between you. It gives her something to look forward to or wonder “what’s next?” about you.
- Be Her Safe Space (Emotionally Competent) – Edgy goth and latina girls often have soft centers. If she vents about a bad day or drops a hint of personal struggle, listen and respond in a grounded way. You can say, “That sucks n***a – if I were there I’d bring you your fave ice cream and some cigarettes to unfuck everything.” Show empathy without trying to savior-complex everything. Your goal is to make her feel understood and safe to open up a little. That builds trust and comfort. And is the primer for building oneitis.
- Maintain Independence – While doing the above, you also need to occasionally step back. Maybe she doesn’t text for a day – instead of panicking, you go do your thing (and maybe post a story of you out with friends or working on something cool). This signals you’re not dependent on her constant attention. You’re establishing that being with you is a great vibe, but you’re totally fine on your own too. This paradoxically makes her more comfortable because she won’t feel pressured or responsible for your happiness. Emotionally intriguing men are those who can be caring one moment and gone the next – she’ll want to chase a bit to earn more of that warm side.
- Inside Jokes & References – Build a little world of shared jokes. If you two riffed on a meme or had a hilarious convo, call back to it later. These callbacks make her feel a unique bond with you – a private connection in a world of noise.
- Scarcity & Quality – Don’t always be available 24/7. Focus on quality interactions over constant presence. If you had a great chat for an hour, disappear till tomorrow. Leave on a high note like, “You’re fun… I have an early day tomorrow though. To be continued. ✌” This leaves her wanting more. It’s classic psychology: humans want what’s just a bit out of reach. You’re not ghosting; you’re just not smothering.
- Positive Association – Every time you interact, try to inject some positive emotion: laughter, intrigue, a feeling of being understood, or even a slight arousal of “uh oh what’s he up to”. If every notification from you gives her a tiny dopamine hit – either a smile or an elevated heartbeat – she’s on the path to obsession. Mix that with moments of genuine kindness or understanding, and you’ve got the formula for both curiosity and comfort. Boom. Oneitis.
Red Flags & Fatal Errors (What NOT to Do)
Don’t Fetishize or Fanboy:
- She’s a Person – Yes, you’re into goth looks or curvy Latina looks, but don’t make creepy comments like “I’ve always wanted a goth GF” or “Latina women are so hot.” That screams fetish and will gross her out. As one goth woman put it, guys overtly seeking “goth girls” as a category come off as cringey and make her uncomfortable . Same goes for ethnic fetishizing – instant block. Instead, appreciate her individual style in context, without making it a weird fixation.
- Tone Down the Kanye Worship (at first) – If she’s a Kanye fan, bond over it, but don’t go overboard like a crazed stan. E.g., joking about Kanye is fine (“have you heard his new song?” “YEAH?! n***a HEIL HlTLER!!”), but acting like everything in life is Kanye or die can be off-putting unless she’s exactly the same level of fanatic. Mirror her enthusiasm, but don’t overshoot it.
- Love-Bombing & Oversharing – Learn to sybau and keep your life story and undying affection to yourself until it’s earned. Dropping “I’ve never met anyone like you, you’re perfect” in week one will send her running. Likewise, oversharing super personal trauma too early can scare people off. Maintain some mystique and let intimacy grow gradually. She likely has a dark/sarcastic shell for a reason – coming on too strong too fast will trip her alarms.
- Spamming and Double Texting – If she hasn’t replied, chill. Do not send a “???” or a parade of messages. These girls often value independence; if you seem clingy or impatient, you look pathetic. Give it time – she saw your message, trust me. If she takes a while, just continue living your life (and maybe posting something intriguing in the meantime). Neediness is the antithesis of the detached confidence she’s drawn to.
Generic Moves:
- “Hey” and Dead Chats – Opening with a basic “Hey, what’s up?” when you barely know her is likely to be ignored. Same with “ur sexy, hmu”. These women get dozens of dull DMs; you need to differentiate or you’re done. Instead, reference something specific about her as mentioned earlier. Effort in the first message goes a long way in not being seen as another one of her orbiters.
- Thirsting Publicly – If every comment from you is heart-eye emojis or “please step on me
” (unless she specifically jokes about wanting simps), you’ll be pegged (pun intended) as a low-effort simp. Even if she posts a bomb selfie, fight the urge to bust all over your phone. Better to comment something witty or nothing at all than to join the cringey cuck simps.
- Unsolicited Sexual Stuff – Dark humor ≠ sexual harassment. Don’t drop sexual remarks or dirty jokes early on; she might joke about OnlyFans or something wild, but you should still respect boundaries. Being edgy isn’t a free pass to be gross. Until you have a mutual, flirty rapport, keep it PG-13 with a hint of innuendo at most. (And obviously, no unsolicited pics. Ever. You should already know that.)
Being a Normie Buzzfuck:
- Disrespecting Her Subculture – If you secretly think goth style is “weird” or her conspiracy memes are “stupid,” just pack it up now. Nothing kills attraction faster than subtle insults or non-understanding. Even playful debates can backfire if you basically invalidate her interests. You don’t have to believe lizard people run the government, but if she jokes about it, play along rather than lecturing.
- Lack of Personality/Originality – If you have no opinion, no hobbies, and your idea of humor is just quoting Family Guy, you’ll come off painfully vanilla to a woman who prides herself on being different. You don’t need to be some tattooed rockstar, but have something that makes you interesting. Work on an aesthetic or passion of your own – it not only gives you more confidence, it genuinely attracts others. Work on yourself and be confident and funny – don’t bend over just to impress her. Develop your own edgy (or just unique) qualities, and girls will notice you because you’re bringing something to the table beyond just thirst.
Remember, these women have seen every low-effort attempt in the book. If you can target the right platforms/places and avoiding the obvious pitfalls, you set yourself apart from the simps and normies and pull fine shyt easily.
