I can’t see people as people anymore just their aesthetic biases

[ripjfk]

I don’t know if this is the right place to say this or if anyone will understand but I can’t see people as people anymore. I automatically strip away the human part and only see their biases toward me. I can’t help it. I’ve cut everyone off because their reactions hurt too much the looks, the tone, the body language, the way strangers respond to me before I even speak. I see it all, and it makes me angry and guilty at the same time, because I know most of them aren’t even aware of their own biases. I can’t even use social media because the posts make me so angry inside especially right now with the influx of looksmaxxing themed content. Books and movies I can’t read or watch because I see it all. It hurts so bad but it’s also so comforting.

I still have to go to college and work, so I can’t avoid people completely but even there I feel it constantly. A part of me wants to get better but I’m scared that if I try, I’ll just end up in delusion fueled by cope always confused about why people treat me differently. I’m scared of people because I can automatically pick up on it. Does anyone else feel like this? Also I am not interested in looksmaxxing nothing can be done but i don’t care about that I’ve accepted that part.

 

[Anna]

work on your inner light

Go out to a forest or something and sit and pray for a few hours about life and your views see if it helps