i hate my life so bad

[dipenhydramine]

every single moment is pure genuine crushing misery

i have NOTHING in my life at all

no family no friends nothing

ive gone years being autistic as fuck with no help just because my dad doesnt believe in autism

every say spent miserable because my miserable parents try to force and project their lives onto me

as a little baby my mother was a schizophrenic on top of many things, hence why shes in the psych ward

and she believed i was satan and didnt pick me up as a baby or rlly talk to me until i was like 5 (ofc i dont remember but my dad and other family has told me)

i had an overactive imagination from ages 7-11 and i would have intense lucid nightmares nearly nightly and would wake up and cry all night, feeling like there was a monster in my room

age 14-16 i abused benadryl a lot and fried my brain, my dad started hating me and insults me at least 10 times a day even now

parents have had a consistent poor relationship where now its ending in my mum threatening suicide

ive had no friends or human connection in my whole life, not even as an incel exaggeration ive genuinely had nobody who gives a singular fuck if i live or die

dad refused i had autism up til i was 16 and even then purposely leaves me in overstimulating situations to "cure it"

shit just keeps getting worse and worse to every year and i dont really have anything, nothing im proud of, relationships, hobbies etc

everything i liked is gone and everything feels so fucking dull

i never ever had a chance to be normal

i no longer have the energy to do anything

i just wanna sleep all day and i cant even fucking do that because i dont get left alone in my shitty house

i feel so tired all day like im dizzy and just want to lay down

im stuck in a genuine brutal detachment from reality like everything i see and do is just a blurred backround video for my shitty miserable thoughts and it removes all my self control and autonomy

@TonyDr please ban me for an appropriate amount of time i need to stop rotting on my phone for 12 hours a day thank you

 

[TonyDr]

@TonyDr please ban me for an appropriate amount of time i need to stop rotting on my phone for 12 hours a day thank you

For how long ?

 

[dipenhydramine]

For how long ?

idk try a week ig thank you boss

 

[apatheia]

---

~—• APATHEIA •—~​

---

every single moment is pure genuine crushing misery

i have NOTHING in my life at all

no family no friends nothing

ive gone years being autistic as fuck with no help just because my dad doesnt believe in autism

every say spent miserable because my miserable parents try to force and project their lives onto me

as a little baby my mother was a schizophrenic on top of many things, hence why shes in the psych ward

and she believed i was satan and didnt pick me up as a baby or rlly talk to me until i was like 5 (ofc i dont remember but my dad and other family has told me)

i had an overactive imagination from ages 7-11 and i would have intense lucid nightmares nearly nightly and would wake up and cry all night, feeling like there was a monster in my room

age 14-16 i abused benadryl a lot and fried my brain, my dad started hating me and insults me at least 10 times a day even now

parents have had a consistent poor relationship where now its ending in my mum threatening suicide

ive had no friends or human connection in my whole life, not even as an incel exaggeration ive genuinely had nobody who gives a singular fuck if i live or die

dad refused i had autism up til i was 16 and even then purposely leaves me in overstimulating situations to "cure it"

shit just keeps getting worse and worse to every year and i dont really have anything, nothing im proud of, relationships, hobbies etc

everything i liked is gone and everything feels so fucking dull

i never ever had a chance to be normal

i no longer have the energy to do anything

i just wanna sleep all day and i cant even fucking do that because i dont get left alone in my shitty house

i feel so tired all day like im dizzy and just want to lay down

im stuck in a genuine brutal detachment from reality like everything i see and do is just a blurred backround video for my shitty miserable thoughts and it removes all my self control and autonomy

@TonyDr please ban me for an appropriate amount of time i need to stop rotting on my phone for 12 hours a day thank you

"ive genuinely had nobody who gives a singular fuck if i live or die"

Sorry for your struggles. I genuinely would care if you died/killed yourself. Do not do it.

 

[drchad]

idk try a week ig thank you boss

What will you do if your not rotting here

 

[drchad]

---

~—• APATHEIA •—~​

---

"ive genuinely had nobody who gives a singular fuck if i live or die"

Sorry for your struggles. I genuinely would care if you died/killed yourself. Do not do it.

Same tbh

 

[cindythetvisleaking]

every single moment is pure genuine crushing misery

i have NOTHING in my life at all

no family no friends nothing

ive gone years being autistic as fuck with no help just because my dad doesnt believe in autism

every say spent miserable because my miserable parents try to force and project their lives onto me

as a little baby my mother was a schizophrenic on top of many things, hence why shes in the psych ward

and she believed i was satan and didnt pick me up as a baby or rlly talk to me until i was like 5 (ofc i dont remember but my dad and other family has told me)

i had an overactive imagination from ages 7-11 and i would have intense lucid nightmares nearly nightly and would wake up and cry all night, feeling like there was a monster in my room

age 14-16 i abused benadryl a lot and fried my brain, my dad started hating me and insults me at least 10 times a day even now

parents have had a consistent poor relationship where now its ending in my mum threatening suicide

ive had no friends or human connection in my whole life, not even as an incel exaggeration ive genuinely had nobody who gives a singular fuck if i live or die

dad refused i had autism up til i was 16 and even then purposely leaves me in overstimulating situations to "cure it"

shit just keeps getting worse and worse to every year and i dont really have anything, nothing im proud of, relationships, hobbies etc

everything i liked is gone and everything feels so fucking dull

i never ever had a chance to be normal

i no longer have the energy to do anything

i just wanna sleep all day and i cant even fucking do that because i dont get left alone in my shitty house

i feel so tired all day like im dizzy and just want to lay down

im stuck in a genuine brutal detachment from reality like everything i see and do is just a blurred backround video for my shitty miserable thoughts and it removes all my self control and autonomy

@TonyDr please ban me for an appropriate amount of time i need to stop rotting on my phone for 12 hours a day thank you

If ur a male it's over but if ur gay then it's brutal over

 

[apatheia]

---

~—• APATHEIA •—~​

---

Same tbh

Seeing that/speculations that someone took their lives on looksmax.org or anywheres for that matter have always depressed me.

 

[drchad]

---

~—• APATHEIA •—~​

---

Seeing that/speculations that someone took their lives on looksmax.org or anywheres for that matter have always depressed me.

Maybe its because we understand eachothers situations a little