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Experience I want to know @Chifuyu's oneitis story

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Why do you wish to remind me, do you want me to feel bad about it again?! I was so fucking stupid, why the fuck did I have to be so damn stupid. I hate myself. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

>be a grief-struck NEET rotmaxxer
>be told via-via about someone who went through something similar
>feel bad for them and empathize deeply and wish to talk to them about it so I can help them
>end up falling hard in love instead with someone outside of my social circle I could never talk to
>think I can perhaps heal
>flash forward five years later and I find her number and confess to her anonymously
>doesn't even know who I am, just lol at my life
>reveal myself and get turned down
>decide not to tell her how depressed that made me because I didn't want to make her feel bad
>she gets married on paper a year after and started a family with her husband last year
>years later and I'm still the same grief-struck NEET rotmaxxer
>still smile and laugh every day even though I am empty inside

That's not just it though.

>didn't eat for 8 days because I was punishing myself after getting rejected
>told one of her brothers about it a few months later that I texted her
>next day he and his other brother come to my house and make a massive scene in front of my house

Only I get punished three times for one mistake... (first punishment was the rejection, second punishment was my not-eating and third punishment was getting humiliated in front of my family).
 
Why do you wish to remind me, do you want me to feel bad about it again?! I was so fucking stupid, why the fuck did I have to be so damn stupid. I hate myself. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

>be a grief-struck NEET rotmaxxer
>be told via-via about someone who went through something similar
>feel bad for them and empathize deeply and wish to talk to them about it so I can help them
>end up falling hard in love instead with someone outside of my social circle I could never talk to
>think I can perhaps heal
>flash forward five years later and I find her number and confess to her anonymously
>doesn't even know who I am, just lol at my life
>reveal myself and get turned down
>decide not to tell her how depressed that made me because I didn't want to make her feel bad
>she gets married on paper a year after and started a family with her husband last year
>years later and I'm still the same grief-struck NEET rotmaxxer
>still smile and laugh every day even though I am empty inside

That's not just it though.

>didn't eat for 8 days because I was punishing myself after getting rejected
>told one of her brothers about it a few months later that I texted her
>next day he and his other brother come to my house and make a massive scene in front of my house

Only I get punished three times for one mistake... (first punishment was the rejection, second punishment was my not-eating and third punishment was getting humiliated in front of my family).
DAWWWWGGGGGGGG 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

And I think my life is bad. These things make me appreciate what I have even more. I'm really so sorry for you, Akhi. I hope you find a paradise in this life or the next. Also, thank you for making me realize that I shouldn't talk to my oneitis even if my life depends on it.
 
Why do you wish to remind me, do you want me to feel bad about it again?! I was so fucking stupid, why the fuck did I have to be so damn stupid. I hate myself. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

>be a grief-struck NEET rotmaxxer
>be told via-via about someone who went through something similar
>feel bad for them and empathize deeply and wish to talk to them about it so I can help them
>end up falling hard in love instead with someone outside of my social circle I could never talk to
>think I can perhaps heal
>flash forward five years later and I find her number and confess to her anonymously
>doesn't even know who I am, just lol at my life
>reveal myself and get turned down
>decide not to tell her how depressed that made me because I didn't want to make her feel bad
>she gets married on paper a year after and started a family with her husband last year
>years later and I'm still the same grief-struck NEET rotmaxxer
>still smile and laugh every day even though I am empty inside

That's not just it though.

>didn't eat for 8 days because I was punishing myself after getting rejected
>told one of her brothers about it a few months later that I texted her
>next day he and his other brother come to my house and make a massive scene in front of my house

Only I get punished three times for one mistake... (first punishment was the rejection, second punishment was my not-eating and third punishment was getting humiliated in front of my family).
this was Allah's reminder to you that you are destined to die in jihad during ghazwa e hind
 

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