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I was 19 she was 16.....

its0ver

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I didn't have sex with her because she was aa virgin..... that same night she went to a party and lost her virginity to a jerk ik who threw college parties
 
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The story that haunts my life, I still get nightmares.

She was popular, kind of a hook up girl with many of my friends who went to 21 under club events and were Jewish and non Jewish.

The anticipation.. the ocd..

I knew it will end in disaster. That I wouldn't be able to get a boner, I wasn't even horny. I probably had super low testosterone atp and no libido because of my deranged cuck porn fetishes that completely desensitized my brain..

So as we are at dinner. I am shaking... this is my first date with a actual popular white girl, me. The guy who was in HS wishing I could get popular white girls like everyone else and not be a loser!

I make dirty remarks hinting at our banging later .

We make out at the park near the water infront of my apartment. She probably smells my disgusting tonsil breath then.. I grab her ass, a family walks by.

"We gotta be quick I have to go meet my friends at a party soon"

This is a beautiful park isn't it? I ask her. I'd love to come here and make love or run around at night!

She goes- and I'll never forget. . "I'd like to sit and read"

She had a mature intelligent side, like most Jews, and a slutty immature side.

I liked the mature side.

Well, as I call my dad to leave the apartment and go for a walk or sum for 30 mins, we then go.

Inside I'm picking her up and carrying her to the room.

"I feel your arms shaking ;) "

She tells me haha. She was in great shape and only 5'1

Inside the bed she's naked but I still got my jeans on, I have no raw masculine passionate libido . Nothing. Just anxiety and cortisol.

She's waiting... we talk... she gets up to leave and I push her back on the bed and she smiles, hoping now I will fuck her like she wanted!!!!

Nope.

She even said she was a virgin. I'd been her first and we would had shared this bond together forever

I'd invite her over , we'd watch movies.. play skyrim.. watch old testament movies and talk about how cool God is..

Instead? Ha . Oh it's over
sha was 16 bro, ist bad
 

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