is it just my personality or can i be changed?

[demented]

i feel like i ruin every relationship i step foot into, because i care too much, like yea i get you want to feel good but like?? why tell someone who likes you that you know it’s bad but you wanna die? i seize in high areas of like whatever that’s not important but i feel guilty for the people who’re around when it happens, i feel like my own physical condition is too much also. i can’t keep friends or make friends and if i do they only want to die or they want me sexually, but i just want someone to like idk see me, and it be eye opening like idk i don’t say the shit i say just because i want to hurt people, i say the things i do them because i care and me knowing them they don’t respond to tasks without anger associated, i want to feel like my efforts are recognized and reciprocated, i want to be able to keep people around me. i spoke out loud to someone kind of as like a “hey look im able to speak to you comfortably” as a selective, i have a hard time understanding, explaining, expressing, etc.

how can i be more likeable? or keep people around and not make them want to die or angry with me, if i didn’t do it on purpose?

 

[demented]

should i just opt into just acc never speaking again, like thats where im at idk

 

[nomi]

i feel like i ruin every relationship i step foot into, because i care too much, like yea i get you want to feel good but like?? why tell someone who likes you that you know it’s bad but you wanna die? i seize in high areas of like whatever that’s not important but i feel guilty for the people who’re around when it happens, i feel like my own physical condition is too much also. i can’t keep friends or make friends and if i do they only want to die or they want me sexually, but i just want someone to like idk see me, and it be eye opening like idk i don’t say the shit i say just because i want to hurt people, i say the things i do them because i care and me knowing them they don’t respond to tasks without anger associated, i want to feel like my efforts are recognized and reciprocated, i want to be able to keep people around me. i spoke out loud to someone kind of as like a “hey look im able to speak to you comfortably” as a selective, i have a hard time understanding, explaining, expressing, etc.

how can i be more likeable? or keep people around and not make them want to die or angry with me, if i didn’t do it on purpose?

I'm honestly the same way, I cope with it by not thinking too much into it. that's easier said than done but I try acknowledging what makes people wanna leave and what makes people want to stay, observe the people around you (specifically ppl you're interested in) so you can understand their personality and mannerisms. when it comes to expressing how you feel just take it easy, this follows the "don't think too much into it" part because usually when you overthink and have a lot of flooding emotions, it makes it hard to verbalize what you're saying. this is going to sound vanilla but maybe journalism will work? if you cant say it out loud writing it might be easier for you. also surround yourself with people who are GOOD for you, constantly talking to people who only interact with you because they're depressed or want you sexually obviously is NOT good. after a while it fucks with your head and eventually you get used to it.

I hope things get better for you tho!!

 

[demented]

I'm honestly the same way, I cope with it by not thinking too much into it. that's easier said than done but I try acknowledging what makes people wanna leave and what makes people want to stay, observe the people around you (specifically ppl you're interested in) so you can understand their personality and mannerisms. when it comes to expressing how you feel just take it easy, this follows the "don't think too much into it" part because usually when you overthink and have a lot of flooding emotions, it makes it hard to verbalize what you're saying. this is going to sound vanilla but maybe journalism will work? if you cant say it out loud writing it might be easier for you. also surround yourself with people who are GOOD for you, constantly talking to people who only interact with you because they're depressed or want you sexually obviously is NOT good. after a while it fucks with your head and eventually you get used to it.

I hope things get better for you tho!!

i think i’ll start writing things down more, i used to do that which is why i wrote poetry, but i felt like it was pathetic of me to write my feelings and like weep because i could just internalize it all, in all honesty, ive notice that i only feel wanted if someone has some sort of like sexual attraction to me, if im not attractive enough to want to fuck then why would anyone want to talk to me?
i just want to keep ppl i love around and make them like want to be around me, like idk i try to mirror too but then i just get like hollow when the mirror fades
and then my attitude is shit i feel like, but idk i feel like im the bad one LOL thank you for your tip ya

 

[nomi]

i think i’ll start writing things down more, i used to do that which is why i wrote poetry, but i felt like it was pathetic of me to write my feelings and like weep because i could just internalize it all, in all honesty, ive notice that i only feel wanted if someone has some sort of like sexual attraction to me, if im not attractive enough to want to fuck then why would anyone want to talk to me?
i just want to keep ppl i love around and make them like want to be around me, like idk i try to mirror too but then i just get like hollow when the mirror fades
and then my attitude is shit i feel like, but idk i feel like im the bad one LOL thank you for your tip ya

holy I found my twin, what the heck !! but yeahh dont feel weird for writing stuff down, after you're done writing you can always throw it away ^^

 

[grey]

not sure I can help so I won’t try but you got some freaky shit going on in your avi

 

[demented]

holy I found my twin, what the heck !! but yeahh dont feel weird for writing stuff down, after you're done writing you can always throw it away ^^

okay i mean LOL i just feel like i should at least have some manly qualities to me even though im a girl like men are good with emotions why AM I NOTTTTTT BREAAUUUGHH

 

[nomi]

okay i mean LOL i just feel like i should at least have some manly qualities to me even though im a girl like men are good with emotions why AM I NOTTTTTT BREAAUUUGHH

why cant women and men just be the same when it comes to emotions like there's no reason why I should be getting upset over the simplest reasons