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If it wasn’t that difficult for me I wouldn’t struggle with it. I’m an outgoing person but I’m so deeply scared of the people I care seeing me in the way I see myself that I push them away before they can ever get close to me and I shut them out when they try and help me. The issue is more in me sabotaging all of the relationships in my life so that I can be proven right when they leave me again and again
Bro you're a douche
Haha okay
let’s fix you — no glue, no borax, no therapy (but yes, chat help this woman 
).
Step 1: Understand What’s Actually Going On
Step 2: Catch the Pattern in Real Time
pause and name it: “Oh. My avoidant/ fearful part is acting up.”
Step 3: Relearn Safety (Without Therapy)
Step 4: Self-Regulate Instead of Self-Abandon
Step 5: Reparent Yourself
Step 6: Slow Progress Counts
That would explain it. I didn’t have stable relationships growing up. I still don’t have them. Was I doomed from the beginning?
r u a girl
Awe you’re such a sweetheart what stopped you
No I’m a femboy
What's a femboy
I can't send videos
I’m lying yeah I’m a girl
Bro you're a
Douche
Thanks Mr gpt unfortunately I’m still fucked up in the headHaha okay
Here’s the real talk version of how to start untangling a fearfully avoidant attachment style on your own:
---
Fearful-avoidant = “I want love, but I’m scared it’ll hurt me.”
You swing between craving closeness and pushing people away. That push-pull is your nervous system trying to protect you from getting hurt again.
You’re not “broken” — you just learned that relationships can be dangerous, so your brain built a safety system that now overreacts.
---
Next time you:
Feel someone pulling close and you suddenly want to run, or
Feel rejected and want to chase or over-explain —
Just naming it lowers the emotional charge. You’re reminding your brain, “This isn’t danger, it’s discomfort.”
---
You can teach yourself that closeness isn’t fatal by giving your body micro doses of connection:
Text people back even if you feel like ghosting.
Let someone help you with something small.
Notice when people are kind — and don’t immediately downplay it.
Tiny exposures build tolerance for intimacy.
---
When you feel panic about closeness or rejection:
Try slow exhale breathing (longer out than in).
Do a self-check-in: “What do I actually need right now — space, reassurance, or just calm?”
Write, don’t react — journaling before texting saves relationships.
---
Your avoidant part formed because no one comforted you safely enough when you were little or hurt.
Now you do that:
Say things like, “It’s okay to want closeness,” or “I can be safe and still open.”
It sounds corny, but it literally rewires your attachment style through repetition and self-soothing.
---
It won’t disappear overnight. The goal isn’t to be “secure all the time,” but to recognize the pattern sooner and choose calmer actions. Every time you do, that fearful circuit weakens.
---
Would you like me to give you a short “daily reprogramming routine” (like 3–5 minutes a day) to start training your attachment system to feel safer?
I don’t think he can say that word
Maybe but u can still change ur ways. Neuroplasticity
-does ghb before going outside
I’m really hoping that I can. I just don’t think I can be in a stable relationship after every single one of them has ended up chaotically so far
but you know what if you water flowers they should hypothetically grow so I’ll work on the mental state lol
I knew he was too positive about it all to be natural…
People who have similar mental states tend to gravitate towards each other so I’m sure if u focused on ur mental health you’d find yourself in a healthy relationship one day.I’m really hoping that I can. I just don’t think I can be in a stable relationship after every single one of them has ended up chaotically so far
Slopslinger and positive in the same sentence
Haha okay
Here’s the real talk version of how to start untangling a fearfully avoidant attachment style on your own:
---
Fearful-avoidant = “I want love, but I’m scared it’ll hurt me.”
You swing between craving closeness and pushing people away. That push-pull is your nervous system trying to protect you from getting hurt again.
You’re not “broken” — you just learned that relationships can be dangerous, so your brain built a safety system that now overreacts.
---
Next time you:
Feel someone pulling close and you suddenly want to run, or
Feel rejected and want to chase or over-explain —
Just naming it lowers the emotional charge. You’re reminding your brain, “This isn’t danger, it’s discomfort.”
---
You can teach yourself that closeness isn’t fatal by giving your body micro doses of connection:
Text people back even if you feel like ghosting.
Let someone help you with something small.
Notice when people are kind — and don’t immediately downplay it.
Tiny exposures build tolerance for intimacy.
---
When you feel panic about closeness or rejection:
Try slow exhale breathing (longer out than in).
Do a self-check-in: “What do I actually need right now — space, reassurance, or just calm?”
Write, don’t react — journaling before texting saves relationships.
---
Your avoidant part formed because no one comforted you safely enough when you were little or hurt.
Now you do that:
Say things like, “It’s okay to want closeness,” or “I can be safe and still open.”
It sounds corny, but it literally rewires your attachment style through repetition and self-soothing.
---
It won’t disappear overnight. The goal isn’t to be “secure all the time,” but to recognize the pattern sooner and choose calmer actions. Every time you do, that fearful circuit weakens.
---
Would you like me to give you a short “daily reprogramming routine” (like 3–5 minutes a day) to start training your attachment system to feel safer?
it's not genetic, it's because of your environment growing up
Maybe, maybe not. Maybe luck will strike you eventually, that’s a reason not to lose hope I suppose. Atleast that’s what I sometimes tell myself
