My dad just asked me why I let myself look so easy to men

[sjnny404]

?????

This was after our Uber ride where I talked with the (male) driver the whole way home

I told my dad that I talk to everyone like this because im sociable, I was not interested in the guy

My dad then told me since the driver was a stranger I should have just exchanged a few pleasantries and stayed silent

I told him this is why he hasn't learned English in the 15 years we lived in this country bc it pmo

Is he right tho like wat

 

[over0]

Nah he's not right it's normal to talk to your uber driver makes it less awkward

 

[Spuffy]

Different cultures have different standards of what's acceptable. He probably is placing those standards he was taught in the past onto you, even though it doesn't apply to your environment. If that makes sense

 

[The cat from The Matrix]

My mom gets mad bc I listen to my Uber drivers tell their whole life stories

 

[Darkeningstar]

I told him this is why he hasn't learned English in the 15 years we lived in this country bc it pmo

Females...

He is more or less right from his point of view
I can't tell you how much and whether he was overreacting because I didn't see how you acted irl

Run that 140iq and reason about his perspective

 

[sjnny404]

trad dad pill is real

Different cultures have different standards of what's acceptable. He probably is placing those standards he was taught in the past onto you, even though it doesn't apply to your environment. If that makes sense

Very true he understood my perspective and i understood his at the end so it was chill, just kind of baffled me initially

Females...

He is more or less right from his point of view
I can't tell you how much and whether he was overreacting because I didn't see how you acted irl

Run that 140iq and reason about his perspective

He's right tbh it does give them an avenue to read into it and try and spark something even tho it isn't my intention, i just kinda projected my annoyance on my dad when i was just annoyed at the reality of men and women interaction in general, i don't like having to tiptoe around people's instincts/hormones/sex drives when those instincts are foreign to me and something i have to make myself consciously aware of

I was talking to him about the current economic climate and then i asked about some of his j*bs, he gave me his insta bc he said he used to be an actor in his home country and showed me his shoots, maybe it was the insta that tipped my dad over

 

[BlendedBlade]

Nah he's not right it's normal to talk to your uber driver makes it less awkward

I just make is super clear to them I’m not interested by giving short answers and looking at my phone.

I get it, it’s boring, but come on I have the right to stay in silence

 

[Darkeningstar]

He's right tbh it does give them an avenue to read into it and try and spark something even tho it isn't my intention, i just kinda projected my annoyance on my dad when i was just annoyed at the reality of men and women interaction in general, i don't like having to tiptoe around people's instincts/hormones/sex drives when those instincts are foreign to me and something i have to make myself consciously aware of

I was talking to him about the current economic climate and then i asked about some of his j*bs, he gave me his insta bc he said he used to be an actor in his home country and showed me his shoots, maybe it was the insta that tipped my dad over

I forced myself to be “aware”. I’m autistic and tended to consider interactions because they were functional to... I found that I have remarkable philanthropic tendencies and am very good at reading people.


A few more points would have favoured your intuition, but you are much smarter than average and therefore managed to develop what happened differently from how a female would normally do

not sure it was instagram, though

 

[sjnny404]

I forced myself to be “aware”. I’m autistic and tended to consider interactions because they were functional to... I found that I have remarkable philanthropic tendencies and am very good at reading people.


A few more points would have favoured your intuition, but you are much smarter than average and therefore managed to develop what happened differently from how a female would normally do

not sure it was instagram, though

Kind of an off topic spiel but I noticed after a certain point IQ doesn't make someone have better rationalizations. It just makes them get to their current rationalization faster, even though it might be illogical. I think the best thing anyone can focus on is emotional integrity and neutrality during introspection, instead of being swayed by surface level biases (imo its doubtful youd be able to change your entire personality because that would require a level of metacognition nobody is capable of, but small localized biases can be feasibly identified/overcome). And it's something that anyone can work on regardless of their IQ, because it simply involves a lot of practice.

So yeah, higher IQ would be good for introspection but so is emotional intelligence to utilize it to its full potential. Which I am working on.

I don't think im autistic in the traditional sense (ie. congenital) but i think adverse experiences has made me functionally mirror autistic tendencies. I relate to having to study people to understand them, I think now I understand them well. Minus the giant blind spot that is sexually driven, member-of-the-preferred-sex interactions. A lot of times i forget it's a thing.

Not sure what you mean by philanthropist, unless you intended to mean human philosophy/psychology

 

[Darkeningstar]

Kind of an off topic spiel but I noticed after a certain point IQ doesn't make someone have better rationalizations. It just makes them get to their current rationalization faster, even though it might be illogical

Yes and no

So yeah, higher IQ would be good for introspection but so is emotional intelligence to utilize it to its full potential. Which I am working on

Emotional intelligence is a fallacious concept most effectively circumscribed to IQ plus personality types and preferences, but I‘ll not dwell on that

Not sure what you mean by philanthropist, unless you intended to mean human philosophy/psychology

No, I was referring to something else

 

[BlendedBlade]

Yes and no


Emotional intelligence is a fallacious concept most effectively circumscribed to IQ plus personality types and preferences, but I‘ll not dwell on that

No, I was referring to something else

I’m confused: are you a male or female brah ?

 

[Darkeningstar]

I’m confused: are you a male or female brah ?

Male

 

[sjnny404]

Emotional intelligence is a fallacious concept most effectively circumscribed to IQ plus personality types and preferences, but I‘ll not dwell on that

Fair I think the "science" is bogus but i theorize with a good enough test of emotional intelligence and combining that + the IQ test would be a way better way of predicting someone's future life achievements bc trying to predict it with IQ alone is really inaccurate past 120 or so

And jfl kinda ironic that we're discussing this on a forum that asserts that we can find an "objectivity" in looks despite 0 factor analysis done onto individual facial traits/ratios and their correlation to the overall attractiveness of a person, in addition to the fact that it's entirely subjective anyways, it would be like trying to find how intelligent someone is based on how smart other people perceive them to be

 

[Darkeningstar]

And jfl kinda ironic that we're discussing this on a forum that asserts that we can find an "objectivity" in looks despite 0 factor analysis done onto individual facial traits/ratios and their correlation to the overall attractiveness of a person

I’m just an annoying spectator, nothing more
I agree, of course

 

[Nocturn]

ur fathers low iq

 

[nun]

im an extrovert trapped in a socially anxious woman’s body… i would yap to an uber driver who just wants to do his j*b and never speak to me ever again but i can’t order a milkshake at mcdonald without having a panic attack and throwing up outside. i get it

 

[Nocturn]

im an extrovert trapped in a socially anxious woman’s body… i would yap to an uber driver who just wants to do his j*b and never speak to me ever again but i can’t order a milkshake at mcdonald without having a panic attack and throwing up outside. i get it

id help you but me not helping you is the entire point which helps you

 

[sjnny404]

ur fathers low iq

Unironically he tests a few pts away from dead average lmao but its his processing speed that screws him over, i know this bc i began to suspect this so i had him take a symbol clicking test (he scored 26th percentile adjusted for age)

 

[nun]

id help you but me not helping you is the entire point which helps you

aint no helping a r****d like me

op is right they putting out zinger retrospective replies n im disgracing the post by talkin ab mcdonald panic attacks. the circle of life

 

[sjnny404]

aint no helping a r****d like me

op is right they putting out zinger retrospective replies n im disgracing the post by talkin ab mcdonald panic attacks. the circle of life

Mate ur good i have another thread where it was just me vent-simping over james from the silent hill 2 remake

 

[Darkeningstar]

Op, I ask you a question
Do you consider yourself an emotionally adaptive or supportive person, or both?

 

[Nocturn]

Op, I ask you a question
Do you consider yourself an emotionally adaptive or supportive person, or both?

nothing wrong with e sex

 

[Darkeningstar]

nothing wrong with e sex

I have no bad intentions

 

[Nocturn]

I have no bad intentions

i just said theres nothing wrong

 

[Darkeningstar]

i just said theres nothing wrong

I know, i was joking

 

[sjnny404]

Op, I ask you a question
Do you consider yourself an emotionally adaptive or supportive person, or both?

Both to a limited extent

I learned how to connect by gamifying prosocial interaction via learning that I can use my introspective ability on others while stroking my ego, as pretentious as that sounds, but I think the effects are net positive because it helps others and it also helps me

Before I started doing this I was a bit of a prissy void and had self-isolated for a few years

I'm not nearly as adaptable as I used to be and I think I'm getting way more rigid with time. And although I do like to show support it is typically limited and surface level - I become contemptuous if someone tries to invest in a deep and emotional connection with me because they have deemed me as as objective and reliable (I'm not)

 

[Incognito]

?????

This was after our Uber ride where I talked with the (male) driver the whole way home

I told my dad that I talk to everyone like this because im sociable, I was not interested in the guy

My dad then told me since the driver was a stranger I should have just exchanged a few pleasantries and stayed silent

I told him this is why he hasn't learned English in the 15 years we lived in this country bc it pmo

Is he right tho like wat

Only another man can truly see through a guy’s real intentions, so it makes sense for a dad to say something like this. It’s a natural protective instinct. Sure, maybe 8 out of 10 times being around guys won’t lead to trouble, but that remaining 20% is risky enough for him to stay cautious and want to keep you safe.

 

[Darkeningstar]

Both to a limited extent

I learned how to connect by gamifying prosocial interaction via learning that I can use my introspective ability on others while stroking my ego, as pretentious as that sounds, but I think the effects are net positive because it helps others and it also helps me

Before I started doing this I was a bit of a prissy void and had self-isolated for a few years

I'm not nearly as adaptable as I used to be and I think I'm getting way more rigid with time. And although I do like to show support it is typically limited and surface level - I become contemptuous if someone tries to invest in a deep and emotional connection with me because they have deemed me as as objective and reliable (I'm not)

I asked you that question because I wanted to understand a couple of things

 

[sjnny404]

Only another man can truly see through a guy’s real intentions, so it makes sense for a dad to say something like this. It’s a natural protective instinct. Sure, maybe 8 out of 10 times being around guys won’t lead to trouble, but that remaining 20% is risky enough for him to stay cautious and want to keep you safe.

Yep I figured he said it because hes a man and has better intuition about other men, also he made almost the exact same example you did, he said out of 10 guys 9 could be safe but what about the 1?

My mom first tried to defend me but she also has the sexual intuition of a dead starfish

I asked you that question because I wanted to understand a couple of things

Tbf everyone does this, not to try and downplay what i do but its all transactional if you look deep enough anyways

 

[Darkeningstar]

Tbf everyone does this, not to try and downplay what i do but its all transactional if you look deep enough anyways

Don't fall into this “transactional” trivialism, please
I'm beginning to think that a low-transactional approach is an empathic prerogative

I would rather be a vile doppleganger

 

[sjnny404]

Don't fall into this “transactional” trivialism, please
I'm beginning to think that a low-transactional approach is an empathic prerogative

I would rather be a vile doppleganger

I look at it the same way i look at blackpill, i acknowledge that it exists and that it's one of the main factors driving society under the hood, but i dont dwell on it nor make it out to be bigger than it actually is

Then again i'm in therapy and apparently my views on society make it hard for me to conform to a compromise between my integrity and the comfort of those around me, so ill have to do some more cost benefit analysis to see if it's worth continuing so that i can treat some of my major symptoms, kind of cooked