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People often discredit all the good you’ve done for the negative in a relationship that’s existed for a long time.
Say you had a fight with a very old friend and they re-evaluate your character based off that interaction alone. You’d intuitively imagine that all the positive experiences you’ve had with them (which far outnumber the bad ones) would take precedence and they remain calm when in fact the opposite happens..
I think it is a combination of two things.
When under stress (high cortisol) our critical thinking shuts down and we say things that we don’t mean.
But many times their analysis of your personality is permanent. In that case I think it has something to do with desensitization. They’ve heard you say good things about them so often that it’s kind of become the norm. Something negative, however, is rarer and sticks more.
I say this because this is infuriating. Logically it is nonsense yet this is commonplace in my life.
We should all remember the good things people do for us just as much.
Say you had a fight with a very old friend and they re-evaluate your character based off that interaction alone. You’d intuitively imagine that all the positive experiences you’ve had with them (which far outnumber the bad ones) would take precedence and they remain calm when in fact the opposite happens..
I think it is a combination of two things.
When under stress (high cortisol) our critical thinking shuts down and we say things that we don’t mean.
But many times their analysis of your personality is permanent. In that case I think it has something to do with desensitization. They’ve heard you say good things about them so often that it’s kind of become the norm. Something negative, however, is rarer and sticks more.
I say this because this is infuriating. Logically it is nonsense yet this is commonplace in my life.
We should all remember the good things people do for us just as much.
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