suicidal thoughts from a young age turned into violent fetishes

[dipenhydramine]

this is what me and my therapist discovered

I've been suicidal for as long as I can remember

so in my head as a young kid I romanticized death and pain to the point it sorta turned into arousal

I'm glad I can manage these issues and I'm not some out of control freak anymore

don't ban me for these posts I'm just reflecting on it not acting anymore

we still haven't discovered the reason for the blood one though

what I've learned is there is a reason for everything in your brain even if you don't see it