the feeling of not living, being left behind, feeling insignificant, is killing me

[vyctor]

I see people my age having fun, doing things for the future and I'm still here, only caring about my appearance, I've become less hygienic than I was, the friends I had have disappeared, and my real friends are already tired of my depression, I try to show the world that my life is good but I'm dead inside, immensely empty, I don't know how to make money, I repeat the year, I'm not taken seriously, the worst is that I know what should be done, but I don't take the first step, I don't have the courage, motivation is shit, I want to have discipline, this damn black pill ruined my adolescence, I'm getting moldy.

 

[583858]

I see people my age having fun, doing things for the future and I'm still here, only caring about my appearance, I've become less hygienic than I was, the friends I had have disappeared, and my real friends are already tired of my depression, I try to show the world that my life is good but I'm dead inside, immensely empty, I don't know how to make money, I repeat the year, I'm not taken seriously, the worst is that I know what should be done, but I don't take the first step, I don't have the courage, motivation is shit, I want to have discipline, this damn black pill ruined my adolescence, I'm getting moldy.

and how old are you?

 

[JesusandGodarethebest]

I see people my age having fun, doing things for the future and I'm still here, only caring about my appearance, I've become less hygienic than I was, the friends I had have disappeared, and my real friends are already tired of my depression, I try to show the world that my life is good but I'm dead inside, immensely empty, I don't know how to make money, I repeat the year, I'm not taken seriously, the worst is that I know what should be done, but I don't take the first step, I don't have the courage, motivation is shit, I want to have discipline, this damn black pill ruined my adolescence, I'm getting moldy.

it will get better mud

 

[RAD]

not to state the obvious but in this situation it looks like you can only change if you change your mindset and set goals for yourself

 

[vyctor]

not to state the obvious but in this situation it looks like you can only change if you change your mindset and set goals for yourself

My family is in good condition, I don't want to diminish the irresponsibility that I have, but I've been taking severe medication for anxiety since I was a child, my biggest enemy is myself, the negative thoughts, I've had many chances to date but I never wanted to go ahead for fear of what could happen, I've lost many chances to have happy moments and bonds, the truth is that I'm a coward, I know exactly what should be done, saying it like that seems easy, but it's actually very difficult, everything I do I put myself down, my daily thought is always "I can't do it"

 

[Idec]

not to state the obvious but in this situation it looks like you can only change if you change your mindset and set goals for yourself

This

 

[RAD]

My family is in good condition, I don't want to diminish the irresponsibility that I have, but I've been taking severe medication for anxiety since I was a child, my biggest enemy is myself, the negative thoughts, I've had many chances to date but I never wanted to go ahead for fear of what could happen, I've lost many chances to have happy moments and bonds, the truth is that I'm a coward, I know exactly what should be done, saying it like that seems easy, but it's actually very difficult, everything I do I put myself down, my daily thought is always "I can't do it"

yes you are right it is a lot more difficult that it seems, its best to start with forming habits tho like going to the gym

 

[vyctor]

yes you are right it is a lot more difficult that it seems, its best to start with forming habits tho like going to the gym

I do Muay Thai and Jiu Jitsu, something that really hit me in terms of responsibility. After I started fighting, my ego was broken. This is a good thing, but it's difficult for me. In the last few days, I've been absent a lot because I'm still frustrated. I find it interesting how much fighting represents life, I'm not talking about being good or not at fighting, but your willpower, your discipline, it shows you who you are, and I discovered that at the moment I'm a weakling

 

[RAD]

I do Muay Thai and Jiu Jitsu, something that really hit me in terms of responsibility. After I started fighting, my ego was broken. This is a good thing, but it's difficult for me. In the last few days, I've been absent a lot because I'm still frustrated. I find it interesting how much fighting represents life, I'm not talking about being good or not at fighting, but your willpower, your discipline, it shows you who you are, and I discovered that at the moment I'm a weakling

its all about forming habits, you arent a weakling youre just inexperienced I think

 

[vyctor]

é tudo uma questão de formar hábitos, você não é um fraco, você é apenas inexperiente, eu acho

Yes, I'm still very naive about life. Anything that breaks my ego, I get frustrated and run away, you know? I don't want to be just another person in the world, but I also don't want to be successful. My dream is to travel everywhere and eventually have a farm with a traditional family. However, I know that if I continue the way I am, I'll probably be broken and forgotten.

 

[Idec]

how old are you?

 

[RAD]

Yes, I'm still very naive about life. Anything that breaks my ego, I get frustrated and run away, you know? I don't want to be just another person in the world, but I also don't want to be successful. My dream is to travel everywhere and eventually have a farm with a traditional family. However, I know that if I continue the way I am, I'll probably be broken and forgotten.

yes I actually do understand that a lot I use to be like that with friendships. I don't think its the case youre going to be broken and forgotten easily though, its hard to go one way or the other if you try and stay on a stable path its likely youll have a traditional family, but a farms kinda expensive youll probably have to push yourself quite hard to make money to get one

 

[vyctor]

how old are you?

I'm young, I have time to change, I demand a lot from myself and I end up not doing anything because of the pressure I feel on myself, my age isn't important, One thing I know, whether I do it or not, time passes... and very quickly.

 

[vyctor]

yes I actually do understand that a lot I use to be like that with friendships. I don't think its the case youre going to be broken and forgotten easily though, its hard to go one way or the other if you try and stay on a stable path its likely youll have a traditional family, but a farms kinda expensive youll probably have to push yourself quite hard to make money to get one

I know, I know this very well. I had the chance to have a military career, where I would earn very well, but I was lazy. There is still time, but I no longer feel capable. Now I intend to study programming to learn how to master artificial intelligence. I want to go to college in Portugal because I have family. After college, I will find a company and start my own business at the same time, because working from home allows for that. Then I intend to get my Italian visa because of my ancestry, and from there I will start my dream: backpacking through Europe and then in America. When I am at the right age, I will find a city in Russia and raise my family. It is a simple dream, but it may seem impossible. I have a lot of motivation to achieve it, but for some reason I feel like I don't have the time.

 

[RAD]

I know, I know this very well. I had the chance to have a military career, where I would earn very well, but I was lazy. There is still time, but I no longer feel capable. Now I intend to study programming to learn how to master artificial intelligence. I want to go to college in Portugal because I have family. After college, I will find a company and start my own business at the same time, because working from home allows for that. Then I intend to get my Italian visa because of my ancestry, and from there I will start my dream: backpacking through Europe and then in America. When I am at the right age, I will find a city in Russia and raise my family. It is a simple dream, but it may seem impossible. I have a lot of motivation to achieve it, but for some reason I feel like I don't have the time.

I actually think that you are not behind in life, most people dont have detailed goals and plans for their life which eventually causes them to end up on shaky footing in the future. But I don't think you have the motivation you say you do, if you did you wouldn't feel out of time, thats just an excuse our minds make up when we don't have the willpower to do something. I think having set goals for the future will help you a lot but you should probably focus on attainable goals currently to build a good habit

 

[vyctor]

Na verdade, acho que você não está atrasado na vida. A maioria das pessoas não tem metas e planos detalhados para a vida, o que acaba fazendo com que fiquem em uma situação instável no futuro. Mas não acho que você tenha a motivação que diz ter. Se tivesse, não se sentiria sem tempo. Isso é apenas uma desculpa que inventamos quando não temos força de vontade para fazer algo. Acho que definir metas para o futuro vai te ajudar muito, mas você provavelmente deveria se concentrar em metas alcançáveis agora para construir um bom hábito.

You're totally right, I get stuck in the future and do nothing in the present. Thanks bro, it's simple but it helps, thanks, the comparison also results in this