Why do I feel like everything about me is fake

[Nowkt]

I feel like everything I do is just because its the „right thing to do“. Nothing makes me actually happy, I just tell myself that this makes me happy but I dont really know who I am doing it for. Am I trying to impress others?
On the outside im doing everything right, I go to the gym, have hobbys like piano and painting, eat very healthy, invest my money and will soon start medicine school. But the gym stopped being fun months ago and I feel like I only do my other hobbies so that I have hobbies and feel productive. Everything I do is just to not feel like im wasting my life. Im not even sure if I am interested in medicine or just telling myself to be interested in medicine so that I have a career goal to strive for. For example: I read a Article about medicine and dont even know while reading it if I actually enjoy reading it or just read it because thats something someone would do that likes medicine. I learn a song on the piano and dont even know if I enjoy playing it or just learn it to tell others that I can play it. I eat only whole foods that give me my optimal micronutrient intake without taking taste even slighty into account. There is no „eating for pleasure“, I just see the food as fuel and eat the piece of salmon because I still have some fat and protein left over for the day and need more Omega 3s.
The only time I am sure that this is real genuine happiness is when I interact with my friends or have a nice conversation with a stranger. Everything else is just there to stop my brain from telling me: you need to do something, the time is ticking, you are not doing enough, you will soon turn older and one more year of your best years will vanish.

 

[Dandelions]

No, that’s unfortunately just The Way Life Goes. We spend our lives doing things to impress other people, not ourselves.

 

[cr1st14n]

you have to value what you have

also make up your mind your first priority its you and no one else, so do things that make you happy

 

[Nenestar]

Chill out, my guy.

Maybe trip on shrooms or something. Get a gf, bro.

 

[cr1st14n]

Get a gf, bro.

if its an e gf better ngl

 

[Nowkt]

you have to value what you have

also make up your mind your first priority its you and no one else, so do things that make you happy

Yeah but I dont even know if anything actually makes me happy. I just try to do everything that should make me feel happier in the long run but as I said nothing makes me happy in the moment of doing it except for socialising

 

[Dandelions]

if its an e gf better ngl

Forever alone in a crowd, failed comedian Arthur Fleck seeks connection as he walks the streets of Gotham City. Arthur wears two masks -- the one he paints for his day job as a clown, and the guise he projects in a futile attempt to feel like he's part of the world around him. Isolated, bullied and disregarded by society, Fleck begins a slow descent into madness as he transforms into the criminal mastermind known as the Joker.

 

[cr1st14n]

Yeah but I dont even know if anything actually makes me happy. I just try to do everything that should make me feel happier in the long run but as I said nothing makes me happy in the moment of doing it except for socialising

try to find your main priorities in life, what you would like to have in 5 years or so and start building it

not because of how you feel now, because of how you will feel in the future

 

[Nowkt]

Chill out, my guy.

Maybe trip on shrooms or something. Get a gf, bro.

This shi gonna open my third eye or what. Had one gf, was happy for a couple months and then realised I just enjoyed having a gf but she is not the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. But yeah I guess finding a gf that I actually love as a person would be pretty nice

 

[cr1st14n]

Forever alone in a crowd, failed comedian Arthur Fleck seeks connection as he walks the streets of Gotham City. Arthur wears two masks -- the one he paints for his day job as a clown, and the guise he projects in a futile attempt to feel like he's part of the world around him. Isolated, bullied and disregarded by society, Fleck begins a slow descent into madness as he transforms into the criminal mastermind known as the Joker.

im tattoing this in my arm

 

[Nenestar]

This shi gonna open my third eye or what. Had one gf, was happy for a couple months and then realised I just enjoyed having a gf but she is not the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. But yeah I guess finding a gf that I actually love as a person would be pretty nice

Just makes you chill out and appreciate life a bit more, at least in my own experience. Highly depends on the person, though.

 

[cr1st14n]

Just makes you chill out and appreciate life a bit more, at least in my own experience. Highly depends on the person, though.

just some L$D and everyone's happy

 

[Nowkt]

try to find your main priorities in life, what you would like to have in 5 years or so and start building it

not because of how you feel now, because of how you will feel in the future

If I imagine the best thing to happen to me in the future it would for sure be living alone with a women that I love. Hormones really hardwiring me to reproduce lol

 

[Nowkt]

Just makes you chill out and appreciate life a bit more, at least in my own experience. Highly depends on the person, though.

Where do you get it in europe tho

 

[Nowkt]

just some L$D and everyone's happy

Is escaping reality with drugs really a genuine way for happiness or just a distraction

 

[cr1st14n]

Is escaping reality with drugs really a genuine way for happiness or just a distraction

not in the long run so I wouldn't recommend

 

[Nowkt]

You guys are telling me to just live in the moment or appreciate it more but HOW. I cant just tell myself: oh wow this is great Im totally ignoring the constant shortening of my lifetime that amounts to nothing

 

[Nenestar]

Where do you get it in europe tho

Telegram groups

 

[cr1st14n]

You guys are telling me to just live in the moment or appreciate it more but HOW. I cant just tell myself: oh wow this is great Im totally ignoring the constant shortening of my lifetime that amounts to nothing

you just have to meditate your decisions and plans bro

we can't tell you how to live your life, you're the one that controls that

I recommend you to sit and think about what you want to do and what you want to stop doing

 

[Dandelions]

you just have to meditate your decisions and plans bro

we can't tell you how to live your life, you're the one that controls that

I recommend you to sit and think about what you want to do and what you want to stop doing

“Just meditate and your decisions and plans bro” theory.

 

[Nowkt]

you just have to meditate your decisions and plans bro

we can't tell you how to live your life, you're the one that controls that

I recommend you to sit and think about what you want to do and what you want to stop doing

Okay thank you. I will try to reflect about how I spend my time. I probably dont really listen to the voice inside my head enough, I just drown it by always keeping myself busy or distracting myself with my phone.

 

[Nowkt]

“Just meditate and your decisions and plans bro” theory.

Maybe its cope, but I need some hope to grasp on, I feel like im genuinly turning insane

 

[cr1st14n]

Okay thank you. I will try to reflect about how I spend my time. I probably dont really listen to the voice inside my head enough, I just drown it by always keeping myself busy or distracting myself with my phone.

no worries

you're the number 1 priority don't ever forget that

 

[Nowkt]

no worries

you're the number 1 priority don't ever forget that

Apreciate you