- Joined
- Apr 26, 2025
- Messages
- 302
- Time Online
- 3d 7h
- Reputation
- 11,921
Note: This is an old thread of mine from .org but i thought id repost it here since it got me 40 reps over there :jfl: Hopefully my vent does its magic again !!!
Yesterday i was helping my parents with building our cottage on a piece of property they own, my mom got a phone call in the middle of our work, it was the doctor, but i wasnt aware at the time. We continued working for an hour or so.
As we were driving home she told me "the doctor called when we were working and he said youre pretty much done growing" i am 5’5 or so, i started crying in the car and didnt stop until maybe an hour later, nothing felt real, i wanted to wake up like it was a bad dream, everything felt hollow and empty, she tried to console me by holding my hand and stuff, when we reached home i kept crying in the shower for god knows how long.
I then went to my room and my mom met me there and said she was going to scheduele an appointment with the childrens doctor to hopefully get me hgh but im aware it only helps If youre defficient and i dont think i am, i ruined everything by eating shit and never sleeping for years and years, the thing that makes it all the worse is that my brother is 195cm (6’4-5) and in 165cm (5’5), every time were in the same room he makes me look like a child. If im lucky i get to 170cm or cirka 5’7.
Who will ever love me? the only person who even cares about me is my mother, my brother kind of beat me and bullied me when i was young and my father is always working, life is so cruel, i dont understand what i did to deserve all of this, i will never look like a real man or feel like it, even my femboy e-bf (at the time guys, we've broken up long ago now) said he dosent mind me being short but would like me better If i was tall, it feels so humiliating and dissapointing knowing i will never be someones "perfect" but all i can hope to be is someones "good enough for now".
Hopefully the doctor gives me hgh, test and ai, then by some miracle i reach 175cm, thats all i truly need, i dont need to be 190cm or anything, i just want to be viewed as a person worthy of respect and love, i dont care anymore. If i do anything masculine at 165cm i will be looked at as If im compensating and insecure, but at 175 people will just say a little short but whatever, living in Norway doesnt make it any easier, i truly think humanity should be erased, little kids take their own lives all the time because of stupid rules and expectations that dont really matter, this world is actual hell.
I will be converting to Islam this friday, hopefully Allah will grant my wishes of 175cm, because Jesus has never made my life better, every time i tried praying to him it only got worse for me.
The X-ray in question:
Yesterday i was helping my parents with building our cottage on a piece of property they own, my mom got a phone call in the middle of our work, it was the doctor, but i wasnt aware at the time. We continued working for an hour or so.
As we were driving home she told me "the doctor called when we were working and he said youre pretty much done growing" i am 5’5 or so, i started crying in the car and didnt stop until maybe an hour later, nothing felt real, i wanted to wake up like it was a bad dream, everything felt hollow and empty, she tried to console me by holding my hand and stuff, when we reached home i kept crying in the shower for god knows how long.
I then went to my room and my mom met me there and said she was going to scheduele an appointment with the childrens doctor to hopefully get me hgh but im aware it only helps If youre defficient and i dont think i am, i ruined everything by eating shit and never sleeping for years and years, the thing that makes it all the worse is that my brother is 195cm (6’4-5) and in 165cm (5’5), every time were in the same room he makes me look like a child. If im lucky i get to 170cm or cirka 5’7.
Who will ever love me? the only person who even cares about me is my mother, my brother kind of beat me and bullied me when i was young and my father is always working, life is so cruel, i dont understand what i did to deserve all of this, i will never look like a real man or feel like it, even my femboy e-bf (at the time guys, we've broken up long ago now) said he dosent mind me being short but would like me better If i was tall, it feels so humiliating and dissapointing knowing i will never be someones "perfect" but all i can hope to be is someones "good enough for now".
Hopefully the doctor gives me hgh, test and ai, then by some miracle i reach 175cm, thats all i truly need, i dont need to be 190cm or anything, i just want to be viewed as a person worthy of respect and love, i dont care anymore. If i do anything masculine at 165cm i will be looked at as If im compensating and insecure, but at 175 people will just say a little short but whatever, living in Norway doesnt make it any easier, i truly think humanity should be erased, little kids take their own lives all the time because of stupid rules and expectations that dont really matter, this world is actual hell.
I will be converting to Islam this friday, hopefully Allah will grant my wishes of 175cm, because Jesus has never made my life better, every time i tried praying to him it only got worse for me.
The X-ray in question:
