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you’re not bloated, you’re fat

promise

bad person good taste
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to preface this is all water don’t get offended.

unless if you’re a man who is under 10% body fat the whole debloating thing is a sham.

If you have a double chin, you don’t need k shamis dih bloat you need to put the fork down and head to the gym.

If the bloat is consistent across your whole body…. boy do I have news for you!

golden rule: you can’t spot reduce fat. If you’re looking chunky it’s likely consistent across your whole body.

women on average have more facial fat to signal fertility. if you don’t have hollow cheeks you don’t necessarily need to debloat, but there are ways to appear less puffy.

* micro current devices. if used consistently these tighten the face and have even caused fat loss

* cut out the sodium, and stay on top of your electrolyte balance. black coffee + banana + incline treadmill will get the water out

* do a fascia massage. Gua sha that b for temporary relief

BUT DEAR LORD JUST LOSE WEIGHT before complaining you’re bloated all the time 9/10 times you’re just big.
 
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muh gonna drink coconut water and debloat
 
I need to be decapitated
 
muh gonna drink coconut water and debloat
Nooooo buy k shami powder and keep eating those hot Cheetos bb I swear you’re just bloated
 
Yeh the pills made me gain weight
 

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