“You’re not a very personal guy, are you?”

[Deleted Member 87568]

This really did make me think tbh. Although it was coming from that same coworker I keep talking about with the bf. Ignoring the context of why she said that

I find it really hard to open up to anyone. Only person who probably knows me inside out are my 2 best friends and my brothers.

How are people able to be open with someone new so quickly? It takes me days or even weeks before someone really gets to know me. Most ppl would say they don’t really know who I am at all.

How do I fix that?

 

[pompompurino]

no need to fix it, theres nothing wrong w that

 

[fashist]

i don’t think it’s a bad thing to be reserved

 

[NiamhClarke]

i dont talk to people

 

[Deleted Member 87568]

no need to fix it, theres nothing wrong w that

i don’t think it’s a bad thing to be reserved

Still, I feel it’s hurting my social life a little. One of my classes back in HS assumed I didn’t like them because of this

 

[Deleted Member 87568]

i dont talk to people

Ngl bro taking life advice from you would be the equivalent of taking flying lessons from someone in Al-Qaeda

 

[TonyDr]

This really did make me think tbh. Although it was coming from that same coworker I keep talking about with the bf. Ignoring the context of why she said that

I find it really hard to open up to anyone. Only person who probably knows me inside out are my 2 best friends and my brothers.

Hold on, big guess : She is a bit into you so she would like a bit of proximity with you & try to knowing you more.
Most coworkers dgaf about ourselves

At work, stay reserved, don't overshare. It can be used against you. Your coworkers aren't HS/college buddies

 

[fashist]

Still, I feel it’s hurting my social life a little. One of my classes back in HS assumed I didn’t like them because of this

i dunno, i don’t think it’s a necessity to be open in order to have a good conversation with someone
i don’t think you should change for anyone tbh

 

[Deleted Member 80486]

it's a good thing, I have the opposite problem and I hate it

 

[fashist]

it's a good thing, I have the opposite problem and I hate it

same i tend to over share a lot once i get comfortable w someone

 

[apatheia]

---

~—• APATHEIA •—~​

---

This really did make me think tbh. Although it was coming from that same coworker I keep talking about with the bf. Ignoring the context of why she said that

I find it really hard to open up to anyone. Only person who probably knows me inside out are my 2 best friends and my brothers.

How are people able to be open with someone new so quickly? It takes me days or even weeks before someone really gets to know me. Most ppl would say they don’t really know who I am at all.

How do I fix that?

You just opened yourself up to a looksmaxxing forum with 15,000 viewers and you cannot even do that with one person. Checkmate incel.

I struggle with opening up too. Some of my closest friends do not know me all that well. I would try to find why you do not want to open up. For me personally, it is fear of rejection / that I am not worth their time. Then you can assess accordingly. So, why do you not want to open up?

 

[Deleted Member 87568]

---

~—• APATHEIA •—~​

---

I struggle with opening up too. Some of my closest friends do not know me all that well. I would try to find why you do not want to open up. For me personally, it is fear of rejection / that I am not worth their time. Then you can assess accordingly. So, why do you not want to open up?

you’re frying me bro

And yeah, even though I’m in a way better position than I was let’s say 4-5 years ago when I was 15. I’m still kinda traumatised from last time I think.

For the longest time, I thought people weren’t worth opening up to, so I became really reserved. Doesn’t mean I didn’t like the people around me. Just had bad experiences

Even now. A girl is clearly hitting on me yet I can’t get myself to be fully real with her. It’s like a cage kinda. I’ve thought a certain way for too long

 

[holytruecoper]

auggy. if you are in a forum its already hard to talk to normal people. like wtf are you gonna talk about?

 

[Deleted Member 87568]

auggy. if you are in a forum its already hard to talk to normal people. like wtf are you gonna talk about?

Valid point. She was telling me her life story, her fetishes and shit and I was like “mhm, cool” because I can’t talk like to someone I met a couple days ago

My issue is, I’m like that with almost everyone

 

[holytruecoper]

Valid point. She was telling me her life story, her fetishes and shit and I was like “mhm, cool” because I can’t talk like to someone I met a couple days ago

its truly hard to talk people. i understand you bhai.
altough i cant have that problem because my work requires talking to people so im not getting deep into being queit

 

[Deleted Member 87568]

its truly hard to talk people. i understand you bhai.
altough i cant have that problem because my work requires talking to people so im not getting deep into being queit

Thanks man, I feel a little better about it now

 

[holytruecoper]

Thanks man, I feel a little better about it now

just try to talk about your childhood if there is anything interesting that happened. accidents maybe. its not required to talk about your life today

 

[apatheia]

---

~—• APATHEIA •—~​

---

you’re frying me bro

And yeah, even though I’m in a way better position than I was let’s say 4-5 years ago when I was 15. I’m still kinda traumatised from last time I think.

For the longest time, I thought people weren’t worth opening up to, so I became really reserved. Doesn’t mean I didn’t like the people around me. Just had bad experiences

Even now. A girl is clearly hitting on me yet I can’t get myself to be fully real with her. It’s like a cage kinda. I’ve thought a certain way for too long

We might have the same / similar problems. At this point in your life you probably have self esteem and confidence in yourself.


What I try to practice is not caring too much about what the other person thinks at first, why? Because unless I am trying to make a connection with them for a job or something, then they are just a human like everybody else.


I think it is good that you do not open up too soon, however bad that you do not open up at all (Like you said, people think you do not like them), however think of it kind of like testing the waters to see if you and the other person would really be compatible, because if you are not then who cares move on.


Just warm up little by little, like at first just make some small talk then introduce a hobby you like, such as working out or anime, and if they look at you in disgust like,"Ew...he likes anime" who cares. Just move on their not worth your time. Think about it when making friends and getting a girlfriend i presume you have the goal of being with them for a long time / rest of your life so why not see if you are truly compatible.


Who cares about what they think they are just human. Just move on to the next.


I can phrase that better, but I will send it anyways, just tell me if you want me to elaborate.