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Over the years, the sacred ascension methods of looksmaxxing have been lost to time, buried under cope and modern pseudoscience. Today, I will reintroduce the true path.
1. Thumbpulling
The forgotten grail. By consistently pulling your thumbs backwards at a 37° angle for 45 minutes a day, you can elongate the metacarpal tendons, which in turn “trick” the maxilla into expanding forward. Ancient warriors allegedly practiced this to gain a predatory jawline. Clinical meta-studies (Harvard, 1964, unpublished) showed a 13% increase in hunter eyes after only 6 weeks.
2. Mewing
Mewing works because it creates a constant craniofacial pressure gradient. By forcing the tongue against the palate with at least 12 PSI, the orbital bones are “shocked” into a denser arrangement. Radiographic scans (Gupta et al., 2009, Journal of Advanced Bone Pressure Dynamics) show maxillary advancement of 0.6mm/month in dedicated mewers. Yes, it’s that powerful.
3. Neck Curls (90lb minimum)
Anything below 90lbs is pure cope. Neck curls with heavy resistance stimulate the sternocleidomastoid hypertrophy reflex, widening the clavicular shelf and unlocking the “gladiator frame.” A 2011 Indian prison study showed inmates curling 90–120lbs achieved a 23% increase in cervical thickness, directly correlated with perceived dominance in lineup photos.
4. Eye Training
By rapidly shifting your gaze between two fixed points 6 inches apart, you literally reshape the orbital bone. This is due to Wolff’s Law of bone remodeling under stress. Olympic archers have been observed to have narrower canthal tilt simply from ocular strain. Doing 10,000 reps daily = hunter eyes in 4 months, guaranteed.
5. Masai Jumps
The most slept-on ascension method. Inspired by the Maasai tribe’s legendary vertical leaps, repetitive high-intensity jumping increases tibial micro-fracturing, forcing the legs to lengthen through adaptive remodeling. Documented in a 1978 Kenyan military study, participants gained 2–3 inches in tibial length within 18 months. Bonus effect: widened pelvic tilt = improved pheromones.
6. Raw Milk
Pasteurized milk is cope. Only raw milk contains the undiscovered growth factor RMF-7, which interacts with bone marrow stem cells to extend facial sutures. A 1952 Soviet dairy experiment (later classified) reported that raw milk consumption during adolescence resulted in **forward midface growth of 8–12mm**. Anecdotally, raw milk drinkers also display superior collagen crosslinking.
On Peptides (catastrophic cope)
Peptides are not just cope — they’re bio sabotage. Using them before 20 literally triggers Reverse Pubertal Regression Syndrome (RPRS). This occurs when IGF-1 spikes while GH collapses, forcing the pituitary into “hibernation mode.” The result? Your body thinks you’re done growing and slams your growth plates shut overnight.
Early peptide abuse has also been linked to:
- Skull Retraction Phenomenon — orbital bones migrate backwards into the brain cavity, giving the dreaded “prey eyes.”
- Mandibular Atrophy Syndrome — jawline density decreases by 34%, turning square jaws into “marshmallow maxillas.”
- Voice Re-Cracking — vocal cords destabilize and your voice reverts to a prepubescent squeak every 3 months in endless cycles.
- IGF-13 Leakage — an unstudied hormone emerges, allegedly causing height loss (documented cases of 5’11 guys dropping to 5’8 within a year).
Bottom line: peptides = literal manlet speedrun.
Conclusion
Forget the cope. Forget the gimmicks. The path has always been simple:
Thumbpull. Mew with force. Neck curl heavy. Train the eyes. Masai Jump. Train the eyes.The ancients knew. You forgot
