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am i stupid

pxe said:
i broke up with the guy i love bc i feel like he deserves better than me
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self sabotaging classic. you’re not alone. It’s a protective mechanism that isn’t serving you anymore. if you want to get rid of it you have to name what you’re defending yourself from.

Do you believe that love must be earned?
Are you scared of failure?
Are you afraid of being seen or judged?
Or are you scared that things could go right?
sometimes people lash out because they’re so used to being alone. you can’t keep proving the little voice right that screams you’re not deserving of love because it’s lying to you.


It feels safer in the short term to give up. But you’ll forever deal with the “what if” scenario: how would it be if you didn’t give it up?

Are you waiting for being fully ready? Something I’ve noticed in this community is that people don’t act until they feel good enough. If you wait for the perfect circumstances you’ll never be happy. There is no ideal. Your partner should want to grow with you and improve alongside you. Quitting when things start working isn’t you being a bad person, but it is your nervous system going into overdrive. Have you had relationships before where you put your all into them and they let you down? Your brain is hurting yourself trying to avoid being hurt by him.

Weaken this habit. Follow through on things. Don’t give up. Let yourself trust a bit more. If you can’t believe someone when they say they love you, you’ll never feel like it’s worth it for you. Leaving won’t fix this part of you. It will tag along to your next romantic endeavor.

if you love him, why would you think he doesn’t reciprocate? out of all the people in the world he has chosen you because he sees the beauty in places you may overlook. but think about it- shouldn’t it be his decision to determine whether or not you’re worth his love? You’re both adults. Remind yourself that maybe you’re not fully respecting him if you’re preemptively thinking it’s not worth it. It almost assumes “I know your needs better than you” by shutting it down this way.

There are two ways this could go. Explain yourself fully to him. Tell him why you feel broken. Love shouldn’t be threatening. The right person won’t withdraw affection over something like this. Make your boundaries clear. Break the pattern.

Or you might just need some time alone. Whatever you choose I’m here for you. If you need to vent and want someone to listen I’ll be there. I love you Tati, please don’t believe that you need to be “good enough” to be loved.
 
prettybird said:
self sabotaging classic. you’re not alone. It’s a protective mechanism that isn’t serving you anymore. if you want to get rid of it you have to name what you’re defending yourself from.

Do you believe that love must be earned?
Are you scared of failure?
Are you afraid of being seen or judged?
Or are you scared that things could go right?
sometimes people lash out because they’re so used to being alone. you can’t keep proving the little voice right that screams you’re not deserving of love because it’s lying to you.


It feels safer in the short term to give up. But you’ll forever deal with the “what if” scenario: how would it be if you didn’t give it up?

Are you waiting for being fully ready? Something I’ve noticed in this community is that people don’t act until they feel good enough. If you wait for the perfect circumstances you’ll never be happy. There is no ideal. Your partner should want to grow with you and improve alongside you. Quitting when things start working isn’t you being a bad person, but it is your nervous system going into overdrive. Have you had relationships before where you put your all into them and they let you down? Your brain is hurting yourself trying to avoid being hurt by him.

Weaken this habit. Follow through on things. Don’t give up. Let yourself trust a bit more. If you can’t believe someone when they say they love you, you’ll never feel like it’s worth it for you. Leaving won’t fix this part of you. It will tag along to your next romantic endeavor.

if you love him, why would you think he doesn’t reciprocate? out of all the people in the world he has chosen you because he sees the beauty in places you may overlook. but think about it- shouldn’t it be his decision to determine whether or not you’re worth his love? You’re both adults. Remind yourself that maybe you’re not fully respecting him if you’re preemptively thinking it’s not worth it. It almost assumes “I know your needs better than you” by shutting it down this way.

There are two ways this could go. Explain yourself fully to him. Tell him why you feel broken. Love shouldn’t be threatening. The right person won’t withdraw affection over something like this. Make your boundaries clear. Break the pattern.

Or you might just need some time alone. Whatever you choose I’m here for you. If you need to vent and want someone to listen I’ll be there. I love you Tati, please don’t believe that you need to be “good enough” to be loved.
Click to expand...
Dnr
 
prettybird said:
self sabotaging classic. you’re not alone. It’s a protective mechanism that isn’t serving you anymore. if you want to get rid of it you have to name what you’re defending yourself from.

Do you believe that love must be earned?
Are you scared of failure?
Are you afraid of being seen or judged?
Or are you scared that things could go right?
sometimes people lash out because they’re so used to being alone. you can’t keep proving the little voice right that screams you’re not deserving of love because it’s lying to you.


It feels safer in the short term to give up. But you’ll forever deal with the “what if” scenario: how would it be if you didn’t give it up?

Are you waiting for being fully ready? Something I’ve noticed in this community is that people don’t act until they feel good enough. If you wait for the perfect circumstances you’ll never be happy. There is no ideal. Your partner should want to grow with you and improve alongside you. Quitting when things start working isn’t you being a bad person, but it is your nervous system going into overdrive. Have you had relationships before where you put your all into them and they let you down? Your brain is hurting yourself trying to avoid being hurt by him.

Weaken this habit. Follow through on things. Don’t give up. Let yourself trust a bit more. If you can’t believe someone when they say they love you, you’ll never feel like it’s worth it for you. Leaving won’t fix this part of you. It will tag along to your next romantic endeavor.

if you love him, why would you think he doesn’t reciprocate? out of all the people in the world he has chosen you because he sees the beauty in places you may overlook. but think about it- shouldn’t it be his decision to determine whether or not you’re worth his love? You’re both adults. Remind yourself that maybe you’re not fully respecting him if you’re preemptively thinking it’s not worth it. It almost assumes “I know your needs better than you” by shutting it down this way.

There are two ways this could go. Explain yourself fully to him. Tell him why you feel broken. Love shouldn’t be threatening. The right person won’t withdraw affection over something like this. Make your boundaries clear. Break the pattern.

Or you might just need some time alone. Whatever you choose I’m here for you. If you need to vent and want someone to listen I’ll be there. I love you Tati, please don’t believe that you need to be “good enough” to be loved.
Click to expand...
I love having useful and smart friends, me and you came from a same pussy
 
It is a very bad urge tbh
 
prettybird said:
self sabotaging classic. you’re not alone. It’s a protective mechanism that isn’t serving you anymore. if you want to get rid of it you have to name what you’re defending yourself from.

Do you believe that love must be earned?
Are you scared of failure?
Are you afraid of being seen or judged?
Or are you scared that things could go right?
sometimes people lash out because they’re so used to being alone. you can’t keep proving the little voice right that screams you’re not deserving of love because it’s lying to you.


It feels safer in the short term to give up. But you’ll forever deal with the “what if” scenario: how would it be if you didn’t give it up?

Are you waiting for being fully ready? Something I’ve noticed in this community is that people don’t act until they feel good enough. If you wait for the perfect circumstances you’ll never be happy. There is no ideal. Your partner should want to grow with you and improve alongside you. Quitting when things start working isn’t you being a bad person, but it is your nervous system going into overdrive. Have you had relationships before where you put your all into them and they let you down? Your brain is hurting yourself trying to avoid being hurt by him.

Weaken this habit. Follow through on things. Don’t give up. Let yourself trust a bit more. If you can’t believe someone when they say they love you, you’ll never feel like it’s worth it for you. Leaving won’t fix this part of you. It will tag along to your next romantic endeavor.

if you love him, why would you think he doesn’t reciprocate? out of all the people in the world he has chosen you because he sees the beauty in places you may overlook. but think about it- shouldn’t it be his decision to determine whether or not you’re worth his love? You’re both adults. Remind yourself that maybe you’re not fully respecting him if you’re preemptively thinking it’s not worth it. It almost assumes “I know your needs better than you” by shutting it down this way.

There are two ways this could go. Explain yourself fully to him. Tell him why you feel broken. Love shouldn’t be threatening. The right person won’t withdraw affection over something like this. Make your boundaries clear. Break the pattern.

Or you might just need some time alone. Whatever you choose I’m here for you. If you need to vent and want someone to listen I’ll be there. I love you Tati, please don’t believe that you need to be “good enough” to be loved.
Click to expand...
wise wise words
 
prettybird said:
self sabotaging classic. you’re not alone. It’s a protective mechanism that isn’t serving you anymore. if you want to get rid of it you have to name what you’re defending yourself from.

Do you believe that love must be earned?
Are you scared of failure?
Are you afraid of being seen or judged?
Or are you scared that things could go right?
sometimes people lash out because they’re so used to being alone. you can’t keep proving the little voice right that screams you’re not deserving of love because it’s lying to you.


It feels safer in the short term to give up. But you’ll forever deal with the “what if” scenario: how would it be if you didn’t give it up?

Are you waiting for being fully ready? Something I’ve noticed in this community is that people don’t act until they feel good enough. If you wait for the perfect circumstances you’ll never be happy. There is no ideal. Your partner should want to grow with you and improve alongside you. Quitting when things start working isn’t you being a bad person, but it is your nervous system going into overdrive. Have you had relationships before where you put your all into them and they let you down? Your brain is hurting yourself trying to avoid being hurt by him.

Weaken this habit. Follow through on things. Don’t give up. Let yourself trust a bit more. If you can’t believe someone when they say they love you, you’ll never feel like it’s worth it for you. Leaving won’t fix this part of you. It will tag along to your next romantic endeavor.

if you love him, why would you think he doesn’t reciprocate? out of all the people in the world he has chosen you because he sees the beauty in places you may overlook. but think about it- shouldn’t it be his decision to determine whether or not you’re worth his love? You’re both adults. Remind yourself that maybe you’re not fully respecting him if you’re preemptively thinking it’s not worth it. It almost assumes “I know your needs better than you” by shutting it down this way.

There are two ways this could go. Explain yourself fully to him. Tell him why you feel broken. Love shouldn’t be threatening. The right person won’t withdraw affection over something like this. Make your boundaries clear. Break the pattern.

Or you might just need some time alone. Whatever you choose I’m here for you. If you need to vent and want someone to listen I’ll be there. I love you Tati, please don’t believe that you need to be “good enough” to be loved.
Click to expand...
thank u so much prettybird🩷
ur advice always helps me majorly, appreciate u
 
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