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- Feb 27, 2026
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my whole life revolves around how much I eat.
it’s exhausting.
I had a wonderful time with my friend today but all I can think about is the lunch I consumed with her. I get home and I’m so frustrated with being “out of my plan” that I binge (to put it lightly) on top of that. now I’m in pain, my friend isn’t here anymore, and I feel disgusting.
I’ve lost over thirty pounds this year, so I should be very satisfied with my physique. but instead it’s another extreme to push, another belt buckle tighter. funny enough I feel the exact same as the start of the year. I was way fatter then but I see no difference in myself now.
I’ve started playing little games. how much longer can I go without eating? I have no desire anyway. it weighs me down like a rock when I do. my body doesn’t store fat in all the appropriate feminine places so isn’t it just better to give up and look like a washboard?
I genuinely have no goals that I work towards for anymore. I only wake up to drink caffeine and live through my day trying to stay alive. I don’t have the motivation to try.
it’s exhausting.
I had a wonderful time with my friend today but all I can think about is the lunch I consumed with her. I get home and I’m so frustrated with being “out of my plan” that I binge (to put it lightly) on top of that. now I’m in pain, my friend isn’t here anymore, and I feel disgusting.
I’ve lost over thirty pounds this year, so I should be very satisfied with my physique. but instead it’s another extreme to push, another belt buckle tighter. funny enough I feel the exact same as the start of the year. I was way fatter then but I see no difference in myself now.
I’ve started playing little games. how much longer can I go without eating? I have no desire anyway. it weighs me down like a rock when I do. my body doesn’t store fat in all the appropriate feminine places so isn’t it just better to give up and look like a washboard?
I genuinely have no goals that I work towards for anymore. I only wake up to drink caffeine and live through my day trying to stay alive. I don’t have the motivation to try.