Gothed
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- Mar 12, 2026
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Most of us here unanimously agree that looks are law, and anyone who says otherwise is just coping or a dumbass. With that being said, your charisma actually is important if you're looking for long term stable relationships. Looks will always be what gets your foot in the door, but unless if you're looking for casual hookups, short term relationships, or uncompatible ass relationships which are solely kept through status and sexual intimacy, you won't get anywhere without charisma.
I've never cold approached in my life and my only IOIs consist of staring at you like a dumbass or starting very short convos. With that being said, every girl I've dated has been the person who asked me out, with most of them being overly social ass extroverts who strive on being popular and having shit humor. Most of these relationships started with us meeting in social spaces or public areas (malls, parties, parks, etc.) with my latest being with a girl who had her friend give me a note with her number at a restaurant while I was eating out with some friends. After lots of peer pressure I texted her and we planned a date, where I could immediately tell we weren't compatible at all. She was actually living it up during our first date and talking about how she was immediately drawn towards me in the restaurant. She was being clingy asf -leaning in to hold my hand and that sorta shit- and our date ended with her leaning in to make out w/ me in my car at the end of the date. Fast forward 2 months... we slept together, she posted me all over her socials, and showed me off to her friends.
Our relationship was purely physical and so was our attraction, as we were pure opposites in terms of personality and weren't compatible at all. Eventually she brought forward the fact that she felt that we weren't a match as I rarely talked to her and most of our socialization (especially in person) was one sided and dry as fuck. She still wanted to be fwb and essentially keep the facade that we were dating, but we both agreed that we were as compatible as water and fire.
The real issue is that anyone I've been truly attracted to and could see myself having a long term relationship with has the same antisocial & introverted personality as me, and even though many of them have shown clear IOIs, it never goes anywhere as any girl worth dating will never be the first to make a move no matter how physically attractive you are. Many of these girls end up dating overly social jesters who aren't a match with them at all but have the added bonus of a strong charisma. Just like my case, many of these fail as they are purely physical and not a traditional match whatsoever. A very small portion of these relationships even consist of social bfs who are shorter/less attractive than their gf, but these relationships are always one sided with the girl mainly using her boyfriend for emotional support or status.
For the small portion of users on this forum that are extroverted and not antisocial retards, charisma isn't a worry at all (and even if it did matter, it likely wouldn't be an issue since you'd be compatible with girls who have no problem straight up asking you out), but for the remaining majority of introverted autists, charisma is a MUST for building long term stable relationships with people you're both physically and emotionally compatible with.
TLDR: Looks get your foot in the door & will always be law, however, charisma does matter and shouldn't be ignored
I've never cold approached in my life and my only IOIs consist of staring at you like a dumbass or starting very short convos. With that being said, every girl I've dated has been the person who asked me out, with most of them being overly social ass extroverts who strive on being popular and having shit humor. Most of these relationships started with us meeting in social spaces or public areas (malls, parties, parks, etc.) with my latest being with a girl who had her friend give me a note with her number at a restaurant while I was eating out with some friends. After lots of peer pressure I texted her and we planned a date, where I could immediately tell we weren't compatible at all. She was actually living it up during our first date and talking about how she was immediately drawn towards me in the restaurant. She was being clingy asf -leaning in to hold my hand and that sorta shit- and our date ended with her leaning in to make out w/ me in my car at the end of the date. Fast forward 2 months... we slept together, she posted me all over her socials, and showed me off to her friends.
Our relationship was purely physical and so was our attraction, as we were pure opposites in terms of personality and weren't compatible at all. Eventually she brought forward the fact that she felt that we weren't a match as I rarely talked to her and most of our socialization (especially in person) was one sided and dry as fuck. She still wanted to be fwb and essentially keep the facade that we were dating, but we both agreed that we were as compatible as water and fire.
The real issue is that anyone I've been truly attracted to and could see myself having a long term relationship with has the same antisocial & introverted personality as me, and even though many of them have shown clear IOIs, it never goes anywhere as any girl worth dating will never be the first to make a move no matter how physically attractive you are. Many of these girls end up dating overly social jesters who aren't a match with them at all but have the added bonus of a strong charisma. Just like my case, many of these fail as they are purely physical and not a traditional match whatsoever. A very small portion of these relationships even consist of social bfs who are shorter/less attractive than their gf, but these relationships are always one sided with the girl mainly using her boyfriend for emotional support or status.
For the small portion of users on this forum that are extroverted and not antisocial retards, charisma isn't a worry at all (and even if it did matter, it likely wouldn't be an issue since you'd be compatible with girls who have no problem straight up asking you out), but for the remaining majority of introverted autists, charisma is a MUST for building long term stable relationships with people you're both physically and emotionally compatible with.
TLDR: Looks get your foot in the door & will always be law, however, charisma does matter and shouldn't be ignored
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