Discussion Constantly needing attention VS someone with social withdrawal

[Deleted member 49549]

@TonyTheLooksmaxxDR is this some test or some shit, am I doing the right thing? She’s too needy.

 

[Deleted member 49549]

Like it’s not that she’s too needy it’s just I need my space and her suggesting that is kinda crossing

And she thinks I secretly hate her

 

[N30N]

Girls do this type of thing.
Girl I'm talking to is the same way

 

[Nihilus]

Do as your ego wills
See love in high regards yet treat it as an imposter

 

[Deleted Member 55516]

Like it’s not that she’s too needy it’s just I need my space and her suggesting that is kinda crossing

And she thinks I secretly hate her

She really doesn’t understand how you just need some space. Thinking from her perspective, I can kind of see how she would think that you secretly hate her. Easier said than done and a bit of water info, but you really have to communicate effectively and clearly to her that you don’t hate her and you just need some time alone.

 

[ifsixwasnine]

Have u asked her why she thinks u hate her? She seems to have a lot of self hatred and that’s why she thinks you hate her

 

[ifsixwasnine]

Bc in my opinion these pics show that ur effectively communicating how u feel

 

[Deleted member 49549]

She really doesn’t understand how you just need some space. Thinking from her perspective, I can kind of see how she would think that you secretly hate her. Easier said than done and a bit of water info, but you really have to communicate effectively and clearly to her that you don’t hate her and you just need some time alone.

Yeah I think I made it clear and I made it into a “this is a boundary that is just how it is for me, everything is alright and it’s nothing personal it’s just how I am” and she understands it I think

Have u asked her why she thinks u hate her? She seems to have a lot of self hatred and that’s why she thinks you hate her

yeah but not really directly, I haven’t really thought about tackling that question yet because I think it would just reinforce that notion, but she is a very easily jealous and easily offended woman but she is also Bi-polar and BPD so I can understand some of her concerns and issues she has to live with but it’s just taxing on my own mental since my mom was the same way (although she is her own person and not my mom, it’s just I don’t want to get too attached and get hurt myself again) and it’s also taxing on my time because for about a month straight we have been on FaceTime non-stop

It’s just her being an insecure, high maintenance person which is completely fine.

But I think she thinks that because I need alone time


(I also was vain and I said I take advantage of stupid people, ((not sure why I said that)) and she may think she is going to be one of those people I use for personal gain)

But she’s not, I love her, I want us to grow as people and individuals together.

 

[James Othy]

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@TonyTheLooksmaxxDR is this some test or some shit, am I doing the right thing? She’s too needy.

Don't tell her too much. Just give her a small bit of information only if she asks. Let her think you're off consulting mercenaries on how to better conduct security operations in warzones, not recharging your social battery.

 

[ratedLTN2]

lol

 

[ratedLTN2]

I wish someone cared

 

[pompompurino]

great communication from you bro

 

[Deleted member 49549]

great communication from you bro

could I have done it better?

I feel like Im being a cunning ass when I look at it from her perspective

because

#1 I already told her I use people to my advantage, I mean I made a thread about how I simply got snacks and shit for being "present" in a group project while I just let them do the work and I slacked off on my phone

#2 she is insecure because of her past relationships all being ugly and short boys who have r*ped her or used her for sex, and not to sound conceited I'm handsome and tall and she respectfully so wouldn't want it to happen again or just have me leave

#3 I have anti-social personality which makes it difficult to feel empathy and it also makes me sound disingenuous at times even when I mean it and I use people which I stated multiple times (select people I don't ((although I do because the reality of life is use or be used)) because I know it's a fucked up thing to do)

#4 she is Bi-polar and Borderline and depressed on top of that which makes it hard for her to regulate emotions, she sees things black and white, and she doesn't have any hobbies which makes her rightfully bored.

#5 she just gotten out of a relationship with a piece of shit not even three months ago

#6 We are both diagnosed with really complicated and "evil" disorders which makes it very complicated to see if we are both being genuine

it's a very complicated and stressful situation, I believe things are going to be fine but I don't want to lose her, she is literally perfect for me.

I just really need advice even if it is just cliche' word vomit, It's been about two years since I been in a relationship and I really want to make it work this time.

 

[Deleted member 57571]

I've been in a position similar to hers before although maybe not to that extent

She prob got a crazy dopamine boost meeting you and now she's holding onto that for dear life whenever she gets bored or feels down or anything

I think she just needs to find some hobbies/personal goals to think about so she can split her attention between multiple things in her life and not give 100% of her attention to you and expect the same back because obviously thats not very healthy and won't work out in the long term

Im no dating coach at all but if she somehow becomes self aware that she's relying on you too much for dopamine/security and tries to improve her life and happiness in some other ways things will probably sort themselves out

anyway good luck

 

[Huntergirl]

Don't tell her too much. Just give her a small bit of information only if she asks. Let her think you're off consulting mercenaries on how to better conduct security operations in warzones, not recharging your social battery.

Best advice you could give someone who wants to end their relationship lmao

 

[TonyDr]

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@TonyTheLooksmaxxDR is this some test or some shit, am I doing the right thing? She’s too needy.

Women when they got plowed by Chadlite Jr for the 1st time

@Axii my gf is similar but less hardcore because i didn't do facetime nor voice messages, just text and call and sometimes she text "bae have you seen the tiktok" she sent me. Just tell her you love her bro, women are hella insecure sometimes, reassure her

 

[g4rl1c]

Like it’s not that she’s too needy it’s just I need my space and her suggesting that is kinda crossing

And she thinks I secretly hate her

there is no problem at all. completely normal. don't give in. women prefer it this way.

 

[The/Jeet]

there is no problem at all. completely normal. don't give in. women prefer it this way.

Why did they ban u?

 

[g4rl1c]

Why did they ban u?

self ban

 

[James Othy]

Best advice you could give someone who wants to end their relationship lmao

Not really.

 

[ratedLTN2]

Women when they got plowed by Chadlite Jr for the 1st time

@Axii my gf is similar but less hardcore because i didn't do facetime nor voice messages, just text and call and sometimes she text "bae have you seen the tiktok" she sent me. Just tell her you love her bro, women are hella insecure sometimes, reassure her

listen to tony if you love this girl dont be doing any of this dickish shit people are telling you to do.

 

[Huntergirl]

Not really.

The girl is already in doubt of him truly loving her and you tell him to be more reserved…

 

[James Othy]

The girl is already in doubt of him truly loving her and you tell him to be more reserved…

She'll be alright.

 

[g4rl1c]

lowkey if you set stronger boundaries she'll like you more tbh