Depressive Rant (basically just to get it out of my system)

[000x6:::]

I have a hard time finding desire in life. All of it is actually quite painful.

I had one of the biggest breakdowns alongside a panic attack just a couple hours ago.

Lastnight I asked on this forum if I was approachable and all in all there is something wrong with my social skills rather than looks. However, it's likely negativity as well + looks aren't maxxed out yet. Every time I make a friend, they eventually distance, me carrying any conversation of any initiation of making plans. Then, they're gone. Following but no chats. Parties freak me out and so do drugs in socialization.

I want to get my doctorate in psychology and be a professor but the only way I'll make legitimate money is not by teaching but by starting a business. Business is not my passion. It's either that or I work clinical. I love acting, game making, and script writing but often go unmotivated. Not to mention success there is insanely hard.

Also have been constantly informed that men and women can't JUST be friends. So?... is that all it is? Opposite sex is just a touch-love opportunity? It's a shame because I grew up more interested in male oriented activities + Youtubers: Markiplier, Anxiety War, Pewdiepie, etc. Overall, you'll never see me watching a girl 99.9% of the time. So it's tough to approach a guy and immediately they think I have a crush or something. I don't.

So- no friends, job and passion letdowns, disappointment of society, fuckass gender wars on social media + hook up culture, all of it. And all you can do is adjust, not live how you want. Learn to be content.

I'm not expressing every single problem because it'd be a bit tmi and I'm also delirious rn but idk what else to do or how to be happy. Every day I am sad and a moment of happiness is quick to slip away.

@Zygos
Basically what is up

 

[Zygos]

bump

 

[000x6:::]

Chat how to not crash out tutorial

 

[000x6:::]

How to find happiness tutorial

 

[Luffy]

Inb4 hyperion

 

[Zygos]

i know what you mean about feeling like you struggle socially, for a long time i really struggled too but i just learned to stop caring about others over time. it helps when you don’t constantly feel like you need validation from others to feel like yourself

 

[Luffy]

Also have been constantly informed that men and women can't JUST be friends. So?... is that all it is? Opposite sex is just a touch-love opportunity?

Also men and women can just be friends but it depends on each other’s actions

 

[000x6:::]

i know what you mean about feeling like you struggle socially, for a long time i really struggled too but i just learned to stop caring about others over time. it helps when you don’t constantly feel like you need validation from others to feel like yourself

The loneliness has been killing me for years and I'm near my end tbh

Call me Travis bruh

 

[000x6:::]

Also men and women can just be friends but it depends on each other’s actions

Everyone in my area just tends to be weird as fuck

 

[Nobodyreallycares]

I have a hard time finding desire in life. All of it is actually quite painful.

I had one of the biggest breakdowns alongside a panic attack just a couple hours ago.

Lastnight I asked on this forum if I was approachable and all in all there is something wrong with my social skills rather than looks. However, it's likely negativity as well + looks aren't maxxed out yet. Every time I make a friend, they eventually distance, me carrying any conversation of any initiation of making plans. Then, they're gone. Following but no chats. Parties freak me out and so do drugs in socialization.

I want to get my doctorate in psychology and be a professor but the only way I'll make legitimate money is not by teaching but by starting a business. Business is not my passion. It's either that or I work clinical. I love acting, game making, and script writing but often go unmotivated. Not to mention success there is insanely hard.

Also have been constantly informed that men and women can't JUST be friends. So?... is that all it is? Opposite sex is just a touch-love opportunity? It's a shame because I grew up more interested in male oriented activities + Youtubers: Markiplier, Anxiety War, Pewdiepie, etc. Overall, you'll never see me watching a girl 99.9% of the time. So it's tough to approach a guy and immediately they think I have a crush or something. I don't.

So- no friends, job and passion letdowns, disappointment of society, fuckass gender wars on social media + hook up culture, all of it. And all you can do is adjust, not live how you want. Learn to be content.

I'm not expressing every single problem because it'd be a bit tmi and I'm also delirious rn but idk what else to do or how to be happy. Every day I am sad and a moment of happiness is quick to slip away.

@Zygos
Basically what is up

Guys and girls can be just friends it depends mostly on the guy. It’s hard finding a freind that sticks to you but I’m sure you’ll find one and if you don’t want to do something just do it.whenever you feel like not doing something that’s when you do it

 

[Nobodyreallycares]

Everyone in my area just tends to be weird as fuck

Find nd guys

 

[000x6:::]

Guys and girls can be just friends it depends mostly on the guy. It’s hard finding a freind that sticks to you but I’m sure you’ll find one and if you don’t want to do something just do it.whenever you feel like not doing something that’s when you do it

I think my fear will be the death of me because I am extremely emotional and grip onto the worst.

 

[Zygos]

The loneliness has been killing me for years and I'm near my end tbh

how old are you? idk if i asked this before but if i did i forgor

 

[000x6:::]

Find nd guys

WHERE THEY AT THO 🫩🫩🫩

 

[Nobodyreallycares]

I think my fear will be the death of me because I am extremely emotional and grip onto the worst.

Why are you scared of death?

 

[may2002]

this might sound corny or whatever but i think you just need some sort of purpose. you talked about a lot of different passions and fearing you may be unsuccessful in them but i don't necessarily think you have to be good at something to enjoy it. also if you are struggling with motivation just set a time sometime in your day and work to dedicate to whatever you want to work on. that will just become less about motivation and more about discipline which may be harder at first but gets easier for sure.

 

[000x6:::]

how old are you? idk if i asked this before but if i did i forgor

19 but it's been this way for as long as I could remember. I'm ND so I spent years getting bullied by the people who I thought were my friends. They'd use me for money or physically harass me for jokes and I'd try and laugh along with it until I became sick of it and transferred schools. Then I tried expressing myself and EVERYONE hated me for it. Got called every slur in the book. Now I'm in college and terrified.

 

[000x6:::]

Why are you scared of death?

Getting hurt at parties, getting cut off again as a friend, regret, losing others, and I generally have social anxiety. Loud surroundings get my heart racing.

 

[Nobodyreallycares]

Getting hurt at parties, getting cut off again as a friend, regret, losing others, and I generally have social anxiety. Loud surroundings get my heart racing.

Yeah but why death?

 

[submissivechud]

How to find happiness tutorial

Do what makes you happy and only what makes you happy

 

[000x6:::]

this might sound corny or whatever but i think you just need some sort of purpose. you talked about a lot of different passions and fearing you may be unsuccessful in them but i don't necessarily think you have to be good at something to enjoy it. also if you are struggling with motivation just set a time sometime in your day and work to dedicate to whatever you want to work on. that will just become less about motivation and more about discipline which may be harder at first but gets easier for sure.

Well money in life comes into play. Tmi but I only have my dad in my life and we aren't very wealthy. He is a diabetic in his 60s that could potentially die at any second. So- I'm crazy focused with school. I'd love to fall into my passions and make a living out of that but I don't have the people or money to work with that. Would love to start a channel of content and make ARGs but starting is an awful pain. It may also drift me from schoolwork.

 

[Zygos]

19 but it's been this way for as long as I could remember. I'm ND so I spent years getting bullied by the people who I thought were my friends. They'd use me for money or physically harass me for jokes and I'd try and laugh along with it until I became sick of it and transferred schools. Then I tried expressing myself and EVERYONE hated me for it. Got called every slur in the book. Now I'm in college and terrified.

i see how that can fuck you over. when i was younger i was always the punchline of the friend group until i just stopped taking it. don’t let people disrespect you to begin with and if they keep it up dont associate with them. you’re in college and that means there’s all types of different people, maybe you could try joining a club or clique you resonate with

it’s easy to feel like the bad guy when everyone turns on you but you shouldn’t compromise your own happiness for the happiness of others.

 

[000x6:::]

Yeah but why death?

Ah, sorry. I mean my FEAR will be the death of me. Not inherently scared of death but my fear may kill me or leave me disappointed

 

[may2002]

Well money in life comes into play. Tmi but I only have my dad in my life and we aren't very wealthy. He is a diabetic in his 60s that could potentially die at any second. So- I'm crazy focused with school. I'd love to fall into my passions and make a living out of that but I don't have the people or money to work with that. Would love to start a channel of content and make ARGs but starting is an awful pain. It may also drift me from schoolwork.

lowk just focus on what's important, family school etc, and then use your free time to work on your passion or personal stuff. don't be afraid start either btw. everyone has had to start somewhere.

 

[000x6:::]

i see how that can fuck you over. when i was younger i was always the punchline of the friend group until i just stopped taking it. don’t let people disrespect you to begin with and if they keep it up dont associate with them. you’re in college and that means there’s all types of different people, maybe you could try joining a club or clique you resonate with

it’s easy to feel like the bad guy when everyone turns on you but you shouldn’t compromise your own happiness for the happiness of others.

Social anxiety will definitely make this hard. I am going to try joining clubs in the fall and generally going out more but I feel you can see it in my face, how nervous I am when engaging in conversation. I'm excited- but too much and it throws people off. Not sure how to gain confidence or calm nerves.

 

[000x6:::]

lowk just focus on what's important, family school etc, and then use your free time to work on your passion or personal stuff. don't be afraid start either btw. everyone has had to start somewhere.

I'll try and get into it. I've been told I have a lot of potential with what I do

 

[Nobodyreallycares]

People will tell you to find a purpose and to do what makes you happy which is good advice but I’d also like to add that you should find acceptance with yourself and the world around you. Your gonna die and in 100 years probably be forgotten so just accept that you’ll be dead and have fun in this life. For me I was scared of death because I was scared no one would remember me but I realized that me existed and feeling was proof enough to the universe I existed. Don’t feel stressed about being something super big rn just focus on building yourself up

 

[copevictim]

How to find happiness tutorial

lmk when someone posts this

 

[Nobodyreallycares]

Ah, sorry. I mean my FEAR will be the death of me. Not inherently scared of death but my fear may kill me or leave me disappointed

I’d say something but yeah same. My social anxiety is crippling

 

[000x6:::]

I'm going to make ramen and watch Spongebob to soothe tf out of my brain for now

 

[may2002]

I'm going to make ramen and watch Spongebob to soothe tf out of my brain for now

sounds fun asf

 

[Zygos]

Social anxiety will definitely make this hard. I am going to try joining clubs in the fall and generally going out more but I feel you can see it in my face, how nervous I am when engaging in conversation. I'm excited- but too much and it throws people off. Not sure how to gain confidence or calm nerves.

it’s ok to be nervous, it’s like playing a sport, the first few times you play you suck but as you play more and more you will naturally improve and eventually you will become more confident.

also keep in mind you’re still young and have lots of time to work on it, as long as you make the effort to improve you will

 

[pepsi cola]

I have a hard time finding desire in life. All of it is actually quite painful.

I had one of the biggest breakdowns alongside a panic attack just a couple hours ago.

Lastnight I asked on this forum if I was approachable and all in all there is something wrong with my social skills rather than looks. However, it's likely negativity as well + looks aren't maxxed out yet. Every time I make a friend, they eventually distance, me carrying any conversation of any initiation of making plans. Then, they're gone. Following but no chats. Parties freak me out and so do drugs in socialization.

I want to get my doctorate in psychology and be a professor but the only way I'll make legitimate money is not by teaching but by starting a business. Business is not my passion. It's either that or I work clinical. I love acting, game making, and script writing but often go unmotivated. Not to mention success there is insanely hard.

Also have been constantly informed that men and women can't JUST be friends. So?... is that all it is? Opposite sex is just a touch-love opportunity? It's a shame because I grew up more interested in male oriented activities + Youtubers: Markiplier, Anxiety War, Pewdiepie, etc. Overall, you'll never see me watching a girl 99.9% of the time. So it's tough to approach a guy and immediately they think I have a crush or something. I don't.

So- no friends, job and passion letdowns, disappointment of society, fuckass gender wars on social media + hook up culture, all of it. And all you can do is adjust, not live how you want. Learn to be content.

I'm not expressing every single problem because it'd be a bit tmi and I'm also delirious rn but idk what else to do or how to be happy. Every day I am sad and a moment of happiness is quick to slip away.

@Zygos
Basically what is up

Id respond when I'm not lazy

 

[000x6:::]

 

[copevictim]

heaven on earth

 

[Zygos]

View attachment 406053

yummy little vape

 

[000x6:::]

it’s ok to be nervous, it’s like playing a sport, the first few times you play you suck but as you play more and more you will naturally improve and eventually you will become more confident.

also keep in mind you’re still young and have lots of time to work on it, as long as you make the effort to improve you will

I guess I've tried for a really long time and I'm tired of being kicked down a shit ton. Especially for how I look. That was a problem for years and now I'm trying to looksmaxx for SOME help

 

[000x6:::]

yummy little vape

Would let you rip it twin only thing keeping me stable atm so fuck it

 

[Zygos]

I guess I've tried for a really long time and I'm tired of being kicked down a shit ton. Especially for how I look. That was a problem for years and now I'm trying to looksmaxx for SOME help

i think what’s important is that you value yourself. anyone that knows me irl would say i have the biggest ego ever but you need to believe you’re the best to be the best

 

[000x6:::]

i think what’s important is that you value yourself. anyone that knows me irl would say i have the biggest ego ever but you need to believe you’re the best to be the best

Always been a strange concept to me because I try and think very realistically. Heard from others that delusion is the solution though so who knows. Like I said- adjusting to life.

 

[Zygos]

Would let you rip it twin only thing keeping me stable atm so fuck it

my lifeline fr

 

[000x6:::]

View attachment 406054
my lifeline fr

FUCKKKKK LUCKY AS FUCK LOST MARY PEAK

 

[Zygos]

Always been a strange concept to me because I try and think very realistically. Heard from others that delusion is the solution though so who knows. Like I said- adjusting to life.

i used to have a very very low self esteem and in some ways i still do but i stopped thinking of myself as a piece of shit and tbh that completely changed me

 

[000x6:::]

i used to have a very very low self esteem and in some ways i still do but i stopped thinking of myself as a piece of shit and tbh that completely changed me

Tutorial on that one lol. I need to heighten my self worth but it is hard as fuck

 

[Zygos]

Tutorial on that one lol. I need to heighten my self worth but it is hard as fuck

idk i literally just would lie to myself until it stuck, like i would always try and focus my mind on something along the lines of “you’re him” until i just began believing it

 

[000x6:::]

idk i literally just would lie to myself until it stuck, like i would always try and focus my mind on something along the lines of “you’re him” until i just began believing it

I gotta try and lock tf in

 

[Zygos]

I gotta try and lock tf in

you got this twizzy

 

[hyperion]

I have a hard time finding desire in life. All of it is actually quite painful.

I had one of the biggest breakdowns alongside a panic attack just a couple hours ago.

Lastnight I asked on this forum if I was approachable and all in all there is something wrong with my social skills rather than looks. However, it's likely negativity as well + looks aren't maxxed out yet. Every time I make a friend, they eventually distance, me carrying any conversation of any initiation of making plans. Then, they're gone. Following but no chats. Parties freak me out and so do drugs in socialization.

Yesterday I attempted to highlight how important it is to be an approachable person. There's a fair amount of things you need to include into your thought process to begin to heal - and I'll provide support and a comprehensive explanation.

Right now - what you need to understand about yourself:
A covert narcissist is someone that seeks attention by purposefully highlighting their shortcomings in life - making others aware how inadequate they are, and feel. People who sympathize with this definition are extremely draining to associate with and often have their friends leave them. I have preached this understanding to many users here, but understand you should be of some value to friends you talk to, obviously if your negative traits outweigh your positive traits - what purpose do you serve to people you would otherwise associate with?

Friends aren't people that you just chat with, they're people that should want to spend time with you - because you enlighten them - or benefit their mood.

I want to get my doctorate in psychology and be a professor but the only way I'll make legitimate money is not by teaching but by starting a business. Business is not my passion. It's either that or I work clinical. I love acting, game making, and script writing but often go unmotivated. Not to mention success there is insanely hard.

Above is evidence of you being unable to have control over your own life, and complaining about it.

Also have been constantly informed that men and women can't JUST be friends. So?... is that all it is? Opposite sex is just a touch-love opportunity? It's a shame because I grew up more interested in male oriented activities + Youtubers: Markiplier, Anxiety War, Pewdiepie, etc. Overall, you'll never see me watching a girl 99.9% of the time. So it's tough to approach a guy and immediately they think I have a crush or something. I don't.

I will repeat myself, but you're entire identity revolves around garnering attention. You don't immediately have a crush on men, because you cannot conceptualize someone being anything else than a source of attention.

So- no friends, job and passion letdowns, disappointment of society, fuckass gender wars on social media + hook up culture, all of it. And all you can do is adjust, not live how you want. Learn to be content.

Spoken like its straight out of a documentatry - like you're unable to come to your own conclusions. Yes that's how life functions - most people enjoy it this way.

I'm not expressing every single problem because it'd be a bit tmi and I'm also delirious rn but idk what else to do or how to be happy. Every day I am sad and a moment of happiness is quick to slip away.

@Zygos
Basically what is up

How to improve:
Be of more value to others - and stop elevating the onus on yourself to improve - you are the sole reason for your suffering, and the only person who can amend your underlying issues.

You have been unbelievably draining to talk to, and not once acknowledged this. Everything you do appeals to someone else in some form, you quite literally have no personality and do everything for attention.

The only remedy for this is to lock yourself in a room and reflect on things you find yourself doing when no one is observing you - where you CANNOT be getting attention for actions you're doing.

Stop posting here, and offloading your struggles, get yourself a diary - and be contempt with your ability to satiate your own concerns with yourself.




Read below for info about male vs females.

Obviously outright hating people shouldn't exist - but to further it, some users need to act like older brothers or sisters.

I make an active effort to ensure people stop being an abused dog (@chinese cigarette will corroborate this), as you lose the connection between your ability to do something - and the validation garnered from actually achieving it.

If you struggle with anything, my philosophy is: watch people first, then throw yourself into the deep-end to figure it out. The ability to teach yourself new skills is a skill itself most people cannot exercise.

I've heard this argument before - about online friends being equivalent to those in person - but I think this is a fundamentally underdeveloped idea that should be abolished especially in the minds of the population of people here. Talking to someone in person requires positive body language (eye-contact, responding with your face and obviously what you're doing with your arms) as well as inference to the direction of the conversation, and the nuance required to read the other person. People can cope as much as they want, and never address the issue of them being genuinely insufferable to be around - and frankly I prefer people that make individual social interactions easier - especially with others (making everyone in a group feel included).

This doesn't just apply to men, but obviously I'm biased as to who I want to read this.

Inb4 hyperion

@junebug @Zygos

 

[hyperion]

Guys and girls can be just friends it depends mostly on the guy. It’s hard finding a freind that sticks to you but I’m sure you’ll find one and if you don’t want to do something just do it.whenever you feel like not doing something that’s when you do it

Especially as an adult - its always a one sided thing, where one party wants to sleep with the other.

this might sound corny or whatever but i think you just need some sort of purpose. you talked about a lot of different passions and fearing you may be unsuccessful in them but i don't necessarily think you have to be good at something to enjoy it. also if you are struggling with motivation just set a time sometime in your day and work to dedicate to whatever you want to work on. that will just become less about motivation and more about discipline which may be harder at first but gets easier for sure.

At a given moment, @000x6::: should abandon all pursuing of passions and learn to be contempt with herself.

19 but it's been this way for as long as I could remember. I'm ND so I spent years getting bullied by the people who I thought were my friends. They'd use me for money or physically harass me for jokes and I'd try and laugh along with it until I became sick of it and transferred schools. Then I tried expressing myself and EVERYONE hated me for it. Got called every slur in the book. Now I'm in college and terrified.

Entirely something I could have predicted. Expressing yourself is the upmost worst thing you can do. No one fucking cares what you honestly think if it impedes with your ability to socialize. People that put forward ideologies in-front of being socially lubricated are the bane of anyone they surround themselves with existence.

Do what makes you happy and only what makes you happy

With the understanding you don't tell other people about it - it should be something that genuinely satisfies you - without needing further validation from others.

Well money in life comes into play. Tmi but I only have my dad in my life and we aren't very wealthy. He is a diabetic in his 60s that could potentially die at any second. So- I'm crazy focused with school. I'd love to fall into my passions and make a living out of that but I don't have the people or money to work with that. Would love to start a channel of content and make ARGs but starting is an awful pain. It may also drift me from schoolwork.

No flame, but a potential cause for you requiring validation is an absent parent. I wouldn't say this if I wasn't in the same situation.

lowk just focus on what's important, family school etc, and then use your free time to work on your passion or personal stuff. don't be afraid start either btw. everyone has had to start somewhere.

Start - but don't inform anyone. Do it of your own accord and expect no validation from it.

 

[hyperion]

Yesterday I attempted to highlight how important it is to be an approachable person. There's a fair amount of things you need to include into your thought process to begin to heal - and I'll provide support and a comprehensive explanation.

Right now - what you need to understand about yourself:
A covert narcissist is someone that seeks attention by purposefully highlighting their shortcomings in life - making others aware how inadequate they are, and feel. People who sympathize with this definition are extremely draining to associate with and often have their friends leave them. I have preached this understanding to many users here, but understand you should be of some value to friends you talk to, obviously if your negative traits outweigh your positive traits - what purpose do you serve to people you would otherwise associate with?

Friends aren't people that you just chat with, they're people that should want to spend time with you - because you enlighten them - or benefit their mood.

Above is evidence of you being unable to have control over your own life, and complaining about it.

I will repeat myself, but you're entire identity revolves around garnering attention. You don't immediately have a crush on men, because you cannot conceptualize someone being anything else than a source of attention.

Spoken like its straight out of a documentatry - like you're unable to come to your own conclusions. Yes that's how life functions - most people enjoy it this way.


How to improve:
Be of more value to others - and stop elevating the onus on yourself to improve - you are the sole reason for your suffering, and the only person who can amend your underlying issues.

You have been unbelievably draining to talk to, and not once acknowledged this. Everything you do appeals to someone else in some form, you quite literally have no personality and do everything for attention.

The only remedy for this is to lock yourself in a room and reflect on things you find yourself doing when no one is observing you - where you CANNOT be getting attention for actions you're doing.

Stop posting here, and offloading your struggles, get yourself a diary - and be contempt with your ability to satiate your own concerns with yourself.




Read below for info about male vs females.






@junebug @Zygos

@junebug make me mod please.