Depressive Rant (basically just to get it out of my system)

[hyperion]

@chinese cigarette I can imagine she just didn't read this.

 

[chinese cigarette]

@chinese cigarette I can imagine she just didn't read this.

Have diaries become too expensive, or too demonised, i can't tell

 

[hyperion]

Have diaries become too expensive, or too demonised, i can't tell

She fully doesn't care.

I might just kill myself.

 

[Luffy]

She fully doesn't care.

I might just kill myself.

No Hyperion who will be high iq then

 

[chinese cigarette]

No Hyperion who will be high iq then

This is what you want

 

[hyperion]

This is what you want

Thank you for saving me.

 

[Luffy]

This is what you want

Wdym

 

[chinese cigarette]

Thank you for saving me.

Will you reduce surveillance on me for a week babe i bought palantir stock reward me!

 

[hyperion]

Will you reduce surveillance on me for a week babe i bought palantir stock reward me!

I'm just keeping tabs - I might have to clear this request with my supervisor.

 

[chinese cigarette]

I'm just keeping tabs - I might have to clear this request with my supervisor.

Yo supervisior aint approving sheet mane he gives you enuff overtime an sheet

 

[Post-punkcel]

I have a hard time finding desire in life. All of it is actually quite painful.

I had one of the biggest breakdowns alongside a panic attack just a couple hours ago.

Lastnight I asked on this forum if I was approachable and all in all there is something wrong with my social skills rather than looks. However, it's likely negativity as well + looks aren't maxxed out yet. Every time I make a friend, they eventually distance, me carrying any conversation of any initiation of making plans. Then, they're gone. Following but no chats. Parties freak me out and so do drugs in socialization.

I want to get my doctorate in psychology and be a professor but the only way I'll make legitimate money is not by teaching but by starting a business. Business is not my passion. It's either that or I work clinical. I love acting, game making, and script writing but often go unmotivated. Not to mention success there is insanely hard.

Also have been constantly informed that men and women can't JUST be friends. So?... is that all it is? Opposite sex is just a touch-love opportunity? It's a shame because I grew up more interested in male oriented activities + Youtubers: Markiplier, Anxiety War, Pewdiepie, etc. Overall, you'll never see me watching a girl 99.9% of the time. So it's tough to approach a guy and immediately they think I have a crush or something. I don't.

So- no friends, job and passion letdowns, disappointment of society, fuckass gender wars on social media + hook up culture, all of it. And all you can do is adjust, not live how you want. Learn to be content.

I'm not expressing every single problem because it'd be a bit tmi and I'm also delirious rn but idk what else to do or how to be happy. Every day I am sad and a moment of happiness is quick to slip away.

@Zygos
Basically what is up

Do you feel the desire ?

 

[000x6:::]

Do you feel the desire ?

I have a lot of creative ideas but a lack of time, material, and motivation to set out on them.