Deleted Member 121538
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- Joined
- Apr 30, 2026
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- 387
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I turned 18 about a month ago and ever since then I have been drinking more and more. The first week I only drank a little bit but then the week after that I got drunk a few times and these last 2 weeks I have been getting drunk a lot. I am a depressed neet. I dont wanna get into details but right now I am taking antidepressants everyday. Sometimes I will get bad toughts in my head , really bad toughts that hurt to think about. I cannot make these toughts go away. These toughts are ingrained in my head and every time I think of them I just wanna LDAR and get drunk and do nothing. I dont wanna live with these toughts. I genuinely want to just go to sleep and not wake up again. I wanna kill myself for these toughts to stop but I cannot do that since , well you know , so I resort to trying to get as drunk as possible alone in my room. Sometimes if I keep myself busy and distracted I can avoid these toughts but when im not doing something theres not a lot that I can do. I used to be able to make them go away for a while if I watched some tv show or something and really tried to get into it or if I distractionmaxxed with video games or something but I cant even do that now , I can barely even enjoy movies or tv shows anymore because of these toughts. The only thing I can do is to just completely stop thinking all together and just try to get drunk. Then once im drunk I can try to watch some videos on youtube or some movie on netflix or doomscroll on my phone or browse forums or something like that. I feel a lot more jolly when I drink. I forgot about my life for a while and I just completely live in a fantasy , if you get what I mean. Its kind of hard to explain exactly what I feel like right now. Idk how unhealthy it is for me to get drunk multiple times a week but I genuinely feel like I have to so that I dont eventually kill myself or something.
