| Name | Typing Style | Type | 2024 Thoughts | 2028 Outcome | Partner | Body Count (including partner) | Comments |
| Helene |  Crass | Femcel | "Won't settle for marshmallow men" | Married to ideal same-age Chad husband | Isaac (Chad, fit) | 1 | Roasts others for settling; extreme standards, 4chan-esque. |
| Jova |  Defiant | Femcel | "Not here for Beta Bobs or safety nets" | Married to young, professional Chadlite | Xavier (Chadlite) | 1 | Maintains high standards; rejects âsafeâ options. |
| Idalia |  Confident | Femcel | "Society wants us to aim low" | With self-made, same-age local Chad | Marcus (Chad, local) | 1 | Believes in aiming high; finds a rare, desirable partner. |
| Aletta |  Realist | Normie | "Hot guys are players, better to settle" | Happily with dependable LTN | Douglas (LTN, steady) | 15 | Advocates for stability over looks; realistic and grounded. |
| Fernanda |  Practical | Normie | "Looks fade; stability is key" | With mature, reliable MTN | Simon (MTN, stable) | 12 | Seeks reliability; avoids Chads due to commitment concerns. |
| Pilar |  Free-Spirited | Normie | "Attractive men come with too much risk" | Settled with caring, artsy MTN | Irwin (MTN, creative) | 22 | Finds happiness with alternative partner; values balance. |
| Debora |  Secure | Normie | "Better off with a mature, stable man" | With ambitious, older MTN | Lowell (MTN, serious) | 8 | Prefers stability; focuses on long-term potential. |
Dialogue
2024:
The chat heats up as experienced women try to school the femcels about ârealisticâ dating expectations, claiming that the types of men they want are âunrealistic.â The femcels, unbothered, push back with biting critiques and refuse to settle, fully embracing their 4chan-influenced language.
Aletta: Listen, ladies, weâve all been there. The truth is, these âChadsâ youâre obsessing over? Theyâre not committing. They know their worth, and they have every woman chasing them. Itâs just not practical to expect these guys to settle down with one person.
Helene: Cope harder, Aletta. Just because you bagged yourself some marshmallow with a 9-5 doesnât mean weâre all lining up for Dad Bod Doug. Maybe your âChadsâ were out here pump-and-dumping, but most Chads and Chadlites arenât even models or influencers. Theyâre out there in any decently wealthy cityâunseen by women whoâve already given up. Reality check: not all hot men are fame-hungry Instagram addicts.
Fernanda: Iâm telling you, Helene, I dated my share of these âhot guys.â Theyâre all the same. The moment they get bored, theyâre gone. Itâs like clockwork. Youâre setting yourself up for disappointment.
Jova: Thatâs your projection, Fernanda. Maybe they ghosted you because they sensed desperation. Not our problem if you were aiming for high-inhib, beta-tier men in disguise as âhot.â Iâm not lowering my standards to lock down some Eugene-type just to play it âsafe.â Weâre not allergic to risk.
Pilar: Jova, no offense, but it sounds like youâre setting yourself up for heartbreak. Do you really think these guys who look like models are going to settle down with one woman? Be real. Theyâre getting DMs 24/7.
Idalia: No, thatâs just visibility bias, Pilar. These guys exist in regular settings, too. You all just think theyâre untouchable because theyâre not lurking on dating apps, where youâre competing with every desperate woman in town. Newsflash: theyâre not unicornsâthey just donât have to chase you.
Debora: This is about experience, ladies. Weâve actually been through this and learned the hard way. Iâm trying to save you the heartbreak. Most guys that look like the men you want know they can do better. The sooner you get that, the better.
Helene: Experience. Right, thatâs just code for âI lowered my standards.â And now youâre salty because some of us arenât doing the same. Iâll pass on your low-tier oofy doofy, thank you.
Aletta: Be careful what you wish for, Helene. These guys might look good on paper, but theyâll break your heart just as fast as they slid into your DMs. Theyâre players, plain and simple.
Idalia: Thatâs only true if you believe it. This whole âhot men canât commitâ nonsense is societal brainrot. Yâall got hurt and let it warp your standards, so now youâre pushing that fear on us. Weâll pass.
Pilar: Suit yourself. Just remember, when these guys treat you like options, donât say we didnât warn you.
Helene: Iâll take my chances with a Chadlite over some mayonnaise-eating Normie Nate who is only handsome in Mumbai. Real cope is settling for someone you donât actually want just to feel âsafe.â Good luck with that Netflix dad-bod retirement plan.
The chat heats up as experienced women try to school the femcels about ârealisticâ dating expectations, claiming that the types of men they want are âunrealistic.â The femcels, unbothered, push back with biting critiques and refuse to settle, fully embracing their 4chan-influenced language.
Aletta: Listen, ladies, weâve all been there. The truth is, these âChadsâ youâre obsessing over? Theyâre not committing. They know their worth, and they have every woman chasing them. Itâs just not practical to expect these guys to settle down with one person.
Helene:
Cope harder, Aletta. Just because you bagged yourself some marshmallow with a 9-5 doesnât mean weâre all lining up for Dad Bod Doug. Maybe your âChadsâ were out here pump-and-dumping, but most Chads and Chadlites arenât even models or influencers. Theyâre out there in any decently wealthy cityâunseen by women whoâve already given up. Reality check: not all hot men are fame-hungry Instagram addicts.Fernanda: Iâm telling you, Helene, I dated my share of these âhot guys.â Theyâre all the same. The moment they get bored, theyâre gone. Itâs like clockwork. Youâre setting yourself up for disappointment.
Jova: Thatâs your projection, Fernanda. Maybe they ghosted you because they sensed desperation. Not our problem if you were aiming for high-inhib, beta-tier men in disguise as âhot.â Iâm not lowering my standards to lock down some Eugene-type just to play it âsafe.â Weâre not allergic to risk.
Pilar: Jova, no offense, but it sounds like youâre setting yourself up for heartbreak. Do you really think these guys who look like models are going to settle down with one woman? Be real. Theyâre getting DMs 24/7.
Idalia: No, thatâs just visibility bias, Pilar. These guys exist in regular settings, too. You all just think theyâre untouchable because theyâre not lurking on dating apps, where youâre competing with every desperate woman in town. Newsflash: theyâre not unicornsâthey just donât have to chase you.
Debora: This is about experience, ladies. Weâve actually been through this and learned the hard way. Iâm trying to save you the heartbreak. Most guys that look like the men you want know they can do better. The sooner you get that, the better.
Helene: Experience. Right, thatâs just code for âI lowered my standards.â And now youâre salty because some of us arenât doing the same. Iâll pass on your low-tier oofy doofy, thank you.
Aletta: Be careful what you wish for, Helene. These guys might look good on paper, but theyâll break your heart just as fast as they slid into your DMs. Theyâre players, plain and simple.
Idalia: Thatâs only true if you believe it. This whole âhot men canât commitâ nonsense is societal brainrot. Yâall got hurt and let it warp your standards, so now youâre pushing that fear on us. Weâll pass.
Pilar: Suit yourself. Just remember, when these guys treat you like options, donât say we didnât warn you.
Helene: Iâll take my chances with a Chadlite over some mayonnaise-eating Normie Nate who is only handsome in Mumbai. Real cope is settling for someone you donât actually want just to feel âsafe.â Good luck with that Netflix dad-bod retirement plan.
2028:
Four years later, the group reconnects, and the relationship landscape has shifted. Some of the experienced women have settled into âstableâ relationships with dependable partners, while Helene, Jova, and Idalia smugly flaunt their ideal Chads and Chadlites, fully committed to rubbing it in.
Aletta: So here we are⊠married, stable, happy. Guess some of us realized that not every guy has to be a runway model to be a good partner. A lot of those âChadsâ you talked about? Still single. And I bet you are too, Helene.
Helene: Happy?
More like âcontent in complacency.â You found your little marshmallow man and now think youâve cracked the code. Meanwhile, some of us actually held out and ended up with menânot marshmallows. Enjoy your dad-bod retirement plan.
Fernanda: Look, Helene, Iâm glad youâre happy, but letâs be real. Most of these guys donât exist outside Instagram, and you know it. I settled because I saw through the fantasy. Iâd rather have stability than constantly feel like I have to compete for attention.
Jova: Simon? You mean Mr. Safe Choice? Just because you chose stability doesnât mean weâre delusional for wanting a man who doesnât look like he eats processed cheese for lunch. Most Chads are living normal lives, but you wouldnât see them because youâve convinced yourself they donât exist outside your little safe bubble.
Pilar: Look, just because you two found your unicorns doesnât mean everyone elseâs choices are âsettling.â At some point, itâs not about looks; itâs about whoâll actually be there for you.
Idalia: Thatâs a nice cope, Pilar. Keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep. Meanwhile, weâre waking up to men who actually look good and donât have the personality of a damp sponge.
Debora: This is why people warned you. Relationships are more than just appearances. Youâre banking on the hope these men will stick around forever, but looks fade. Stability doesnât.
Helene: Looks fade, but at least we had standards. Yâall settled for men who look like they peak at weekend barbecues, while we held out for men with a presence. Marshmallows vs. Men.
Four years later, the group reconnects, and the relationship landscape has shifted. Some of the experienced women have settled into âstableâ relationships with dependable partners, while Helene, Jova, and Idalia smugly flaunt their ideal Chads and Chadlites, fully committed to rubbing it in.
Aletta: So here we are⊠married, stable, happy. Guess some of us realized that not every guy has to be a runway model to be a good partner. A lot of those âChadsâ you talked about? Still single. And I bet you are too, Helene.
- Aletta is with Douglas, a soft-spoken and stable LTN, and theyâre content.
Helene: Happy?
More like âcontent in complacency.â You found your little marshmallow man and now think youâve cracked the code. Meanwhile, some of us actually held out and ended up with menânot marshmallows. Enjoy your dad-bod retirement plan. - Helene is proudly married to Isaac, a laid-back but chiseled Chad who isnât on social media.
Fernanda: Look, Helene, Iâm glad youâre happy, but letâs be real. Most of these guys donât exist outside Instagram, and you know it. I settled because I saw through the fantasy. Iâd rather have stability than constantly feel like I have to compete for attention.
- Fernanda is married to Simon, an MTN whoâs kind and reliable.
Jova:
Simon? You mean Mr. Safe Choice? Just because you chose stability doesnât mean weâre delusional for wanting a man who doesnât look like he eats processed cheese for lunch. Most Chads are living normal lives, but you wouldnât see them because youâve convinced yourself they donât exist outside your little safe bubble.- Jova is with Xavier, a younger Chadlite who works in finance but keeps a low profile.
Pilar: Look, just because you two found your unicorns doesnât mean everyone elseâs choices are âsettling.â At some point, itâs not about looks; itâs about whoâll actually be there for you.
- Pilar has settled with Irwin, a slightly alternative but caring MTN.
Idalia: Thatâs a nice cope, Pilar. Keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep. Meanwhile, weâre waking up to men who actually look good and donât have the personality of a damp sponge.
- Idalia is happily with Marcus, a Chad who owns a local business.
Debora: This is why people warned you. Relationships are more than just appearances. Youâre banking on the hope these men will stick around forever, but looks fade. Stability doesnât.
- Debora is with Lowell, an older, serious-minded MTN.
Helene: Looks fade, but at least we had standards. Yâall settled for men who look like they peak at weekend barbecues, while we held out for men with a presence. Marshmallows vs. Men.
