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girl animosity

D

Deleted Member 66953

lose yourself
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I genuinely don’t understand how the friends closest to you end up hurting you the most. I’ve had a friend of over ten years tell me yesterday while we were discussing her love life that I have no room to talk because I’m scared of dating because I look weird. the original discussion was about her getting over her ex of two years in three days, and that she’s already found herself a new boyfriend. She was saying that all men are trash and don’t deserve any female attention and obviously I was trying to get her out of that mood by bringing up positive examples. I can’t discuss the original comment because I respect her as a person but those subtle jabs are constant. I’m just at a loss to know what she actually thinks about me if she shit talks the closest people in her life to me… but yeah is this just a normal girl thing???
 
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hmmm... 2tits 1 pussy
 
prettybird said:
I genuinely don’t understand how the friends closest to you end up hurting you the most. I’ve had a friend of over ten years tell me yesterday while we were discussing her love life that I have no room to talk because I’m scared of dating because I look weird. the original discussion was about her getting over her ex of two years in three days, and that she’s already found herself a new boyfriend. She was saying that all men are trash and don’t deserve any female attention and obviously I was trying to get her out of that mood by bringing up positive examples. I can’t discuss the original comment because I respect her as a person but those subtle jabs are constant. I’m just at a loss to know what she actually thinks about me if she shit talks the closest people in her life to me… but yeah is this just a normal girl thing???
Click to expand...
the worst heartbreaks of my life have all been by women
and i am a straight woman
 
Youre gonna meet girls like that in your life. Its inevitable. High value friends are hard to find. Some chicks r just so insecure even if you think you have nothing going for you they'll still find smth abt you to shoot down abt you because it makes them seem inadequate. She is obviously bothered by the breakup and taking it out on you. She wants to make herself feel superior in any little way she can
 
prettybird said:
I genuinely don’t understand how the friends closest to you end up hurting you the most. I’ve had a friend of over ten years tell me yesterday while we were discussing her love life that I have no room to talk because I’m scared of dating because I look weird. the original discussion was about her getting over her ex of two years in three days, and that she’s already found herself a new boyfriend. She was saying that all men are trash and don’t deserve any female attention and obviously I was trying to get her out of that mood by bringing up positive examples. I can’t discuss the original comment because I respect her as a person but those subtle jabs are constant. I’m just at a loss to know what she actually thinks about me if she shit talks the closest people in her life to me… but yeah is this just a normal girl thing???
Click to expand...
No & don't let people talk to you like that. It sets a precedent if you keep letting it slide. She was being intentionally malicious.

No hidden animosity between myself and any of the girls I keep as friends because we are all good people and are honest with each other. But it took a lot of careful vetting to find them since women are prone to cattiness.
 
prettybird said:
I genuinely don’t understand how the friends closest to you end up hurting you the most. I’ve had a friend of over ten years tell me yesterday while we were discussing her love life that I have no room to talk because I’m scared of dating because I look weird. the original discussion was about her getting over her ex of two years in three days, and that she’s already found herself a new boyfriend. She was saying that all men are trash and don’t deserve any female attention and obviously I was trying to get her out of that mood by bringing up positive examples. I can’t discuss the original comment because I respect her as a person but those subtle jabs are constant. I’m just at a loss to know what she actually thinks about me if she shit talks the closest people in her life to me… but yeah is this just a normal girl thing???
Click to expand...
i'm always there for u bud
 
Sorry to hear that. It's not a normal girl thing, it's definitely a personal and spiteful thing.

It's possible she felt invalidated by what you said, and didn't know how to properly communicate her feelings. She might've seen it as if she was taking advice from someone who has stated a vulnerability in the past with dating; "She's too scared to even put herself out of there, she has no idea what I'm dealing with, and she's the one trying to give me advice?" or something. I don't know for sure, but that's how I read it based off of the limited information you've provided.

Not just women, people in general, have a tendency to find comfort in people who are similar to them - you're not similar to her in that regard, and because she's hurt from doing what she's done, she might feel resentment over it. I agree with @The cat from The Matrix that she's probably sensitive from the breakup and is taking it out on you. It's not right for her to do so and the reasons she's doing it for are not valid.

If this is unusual behavior for her, I would try and wait a few days to let her 'grieve' her relationship (even if she stated she's already moved on) and tell her how you feel. That you feel like the comments were intentionally malicious and targeted. If you don't feel like you can have that type of honest talk with her, it's probably best to let her go and look for new friends. It's better to be alone then to be with someone who intentionally goes out of their way to hurt you and to attack you.
 
prettybird said:
I genuinely don’t understand how the friends closest to you end up hurting you the most. I’ve had a friend of over ten years tell me yesterday while we were discussing her love life that I have no room to talk because I’m scared of dating because I look weird. the original discussion was about her getting over her ex of two years in three days, and that she’s already found herself a new boyfriend. She was saying that all men are trash and don’t deserve any female attention and obviously I was trying to get her out of that mood by bringing up positive examples. I can’t discuss the original comment because I respect her as a person but those subtle jabs are constant. I’m just at a loss to know what she actually thinks about me if she shit talks the closest people in her life to me… but yeah is this just a normal girl thing???
Click to expand...
ugh i have a friend who is the same. look, honestly she probably wants to bring you down to keep herself more confident. it's common in women friendships. u just have to not take it into account and value urself just the same!!
 
The cat from The Matrix said:
Youre gonna meet girls like that in your life. Its inevitable. High value friends are hard to find. Some chicks r just so insecure even if you think you have nothing going for you they'll still find smth abt you to shoot down abt you because it makes them seem inadequate. She is obviously bothered by the breakup and taking it out on you. She wants to make herself feel superior in any little way she can
Click to expand...
bruh why are u not serious and normal under my serious emotional posts like this u jester :mad:
 
machineovercooked said:
the worst heartbreaks of my life have all been by women
and i am a straight woman
Click to expand...
This is so true. I can’t speak for all women but my female friends have much more emotionally charged conversations about life or the future so it hurts extra when someone who’s supposed to be so supportive looks down on you. I’m right there with you
 
The cat from The Matrix said:
Youre gonna meet girls like that in your life. Its inevitable. High value friends are hard to find. Some chicks r just so insecure even if you think you have nothing going for you they'll still find smth abt you to shoot down abt you because it makes them seem inadequate. She is obviously bothered by the breakup and taking it out on you. She wants to make herself feel superior in any little way she can
Click to expand...
That’s actually a wonderful take thank you. You are genuinely so nice and I appreciate you trying to understand her for me. She was trying to attack the fact that I have high standards and she can get over a guy in three days and how he’s dead to her while I ruminate on the past. I really appreciate it I’ll give her some space for now 🤍
 
dearestmin said:
No & don't let people talk to you like that. It sets a precedent if you keep letting it slide. She was being intentionally malicious.

No hidden animosity between myself and any of the girls I keep as friends because we are all good people and are honest with each other. But it took a lot of careful vetting to find them since women are prone to cattiness.
Click to expand...
I definitely keep wonderful people in my life but this is a childhood connection that I can’t get rid of. We bonded over shared memories and having English be a foreign language but around Highschool our experiences wildly branched off and now here we are. Thank you for helping me see that maybe I’m not crazy afterall. I’m just not sure how to go from here
 
prettybird said:
That’s actually a wonderful take thank you. You are genuinely so nice and I appreciate you trying to understand her for me. She was trying to attack the fact that I have high standards and she can get over a guy in three days and how he’s dead to her while I ruminate on the past. I really appreciate it I’ll give her some space for now 🤍
Click to expand...
Yes better to not push her buttons while she's still in a clearly vulnerable state. It is not worth your energy and time to recieve belittling for her comfort when you have nothing to do with the situation except support her as a friend. No need to thank me girlie
 
Randomized Shame said:
Sorry to hear that. It's not a normal girl thing, it's definitely a personal and spiteful thing.

It's possible she felt invalidated by what you said, and didn't know how to properly communicate her feelings. She might've seen it as if she was taking advice from someone who has stated a vulnerability in the past with dating; "She's too scared to even put herself out of there, she has no idea what I'm dealing with, and she's the one trying to give me advice?" or something. I don't know for sure, but that's how I read it based off of the limited information you've provided.

Not just women, people in general, have a tendency to find comfort in people who are similar to them - you're not similar to her in that regard, and because she's hurt from doing what she's done, she might feel resentment over it. I agree with @The cat from The Matrix that she's probably sensitive from the breakup and is taking it out on you. It's not right for her to do so and the reasons she's doing it for are not valid.

If this is unusual behavior for her, I would try and wait a few days to let her 'grieve' her relationship (even if she stated she's already moved on) and tell her how you feel. That you feel like the comments were intentionally malicious and targeted. If you don't feel like you can have that type of honest talk with her, it's probably best to let her go and look for new friends. It's better to be alone then to be with someone who intentionally goes out of their way to hurt you and to attack you.
Click to expand...
Thank you so much Shame I will take a lot of this advice to heart. She definitely won’t see this so I might as well share the actual details. The relationships that she has been in so far all consisted of men who had r***d her. And yet when I offered to get her help she wouldn’t leave. This new man that she met on tinder is so nice and sweet/ he has a 2025 mustang and immediately told her he loved her and started pushing her boundaries to sleep with her. She didn’t intend to do anything with him and yet she immediately “fell in love with him”. She now resents herself because he also basically r***d her on their fourth date and she started defending him to me and that all men are trash and she’s never going to find anything better. My points were that there is no possible way that out of eight billion people there aren’t any good guys, and that she doesn’t have to settle for the first man she found on tinder. Her response was that she doesn’t have the time to sleep around with all of them and she started attacking me for my lack of relationships and that I’m saving myself for marriage. It was a long and difficult conversation but she texted me today that she worked it out with him and that everything is fine now. I just don’t get why she won’t let me help when she clearly needs it. Unfortunately this behavior isn’t out of character so I will just give her the space she needs. Thank you again 🤍
 
swanneo said:
ugh i have a friend who is the same. look, honestly she probably wants to bring you down to keep herself more confident. it's common in women friendships. u just have to not take it into account and value urself just the same!!
Click to expand...
I love you I’ll try my best to just give my time to other people who value me
 
The cat from The Matrix said:
Yes better to not push her buttons while she's still in a clearly vulnerable state. It is not worth your energy and time to recieve belittling for her comfort when you have nothing to do with the situation except support her as a friend. No need to thank me girlie
Click to expand...
The therapist from matrix ?
 
prettybird said:
I love you I’ll try my best to just give my time to other people who value me
Click to expand...
exactly! if u hang around her, just know what she is, don't have her in your mind as a true friend. reply back with subtle jabs also!! don't let her bring u down. <3
 
prettybird said:
but yeah is this just a normal girl thing???
Click to expand...
no way. i've met evil girls but nobody that evil. unfortunately it's really really hard to find genuine friends nowadays and years of knowing someone means nothing. i don't know her but she seems insecure af to be saying that to someone shes known for so long, me personally i'd cut off somebody like that ( at least if her overall personality is this bad ) but to each their own
 
prettybird said:
Thank you so much Shame I will take a lot of this advice to heart. She definitely won’t see this so I might as well share the actual details. The relationships that she has been in so far all consisted of men who had r***d her. And yet when I offered to get her help she wouldn’t leave. This new man that she met on tinder is so nice and sweet/ he has a 2025 mustang and immediately told her he loved her and started pushing her boundaries to sleep with her. She didn’t intend to do anything with him and yet she immediately “fell in love with him”. She now resents herself because he also basically r***d her on their fourth date and she started defending him to me and that all men are trash and she’s never going to find anything better. My points were that there is no possible way that out of eight billion people there aren’t any good guys, and that she doesn’t have to settle for the first man she found on tinder. Her response was that she doesn’t have the time to sleep around with all of them and she started attacking me for my lack of relationships and that I’m saving myself for marriage. It was a long and difficult conversation but she texted me today that she worked it out with him and that everything is fine now. I just don’t get why she won’t let me help when she clearly needs it. Unfortunately this behavior isn’t out of character so I will just give her the space she needs. Thank you again 🤍
Click to expand...
Wait arent u guys 14- 15 years old?
 
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