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god pls just strike me down

Was i flirting
do u think "proving me wrong" or wtv
rudely
making me feel dumb for my feelings
making me ffeel like im too insecure
when i already warned u im like this 20 times
is gonna make me less mad/???? cuz degrading me to ppl will make me text u again???
 
do u think "proving me wrong" or wtv
rudely
making me feel dumb for my feelings
making me ffeel like im too insecure
when i already warned u im like this 20 times
is gonna make me less mad/???? cuz degrading me to ppl will make me text u again???
I already explained it to you 500 times bro but you just keep calling me a liar
And that I want hers
 
i fucking hate bullies too. though I think as you get older, people are less likely to be overt assholes and are a little bit more inviting
i find its easier to avoid ppl if i get a bad feeling
or b worse
with autism i only have learned empathy, so im very good at being mean
and its nice see cuz, when im out and im an emo girl ppl always yell at me or come up and be rude and they think cuz im emo im shy and a good target and i get to suprisingly take my anger out
 
i fucking hate bullies too. though I think as you get older, people are less likely to be overt assholes and are a little bit more inviting
When I was bullied I realized that these guys are skinny and Ive had to fight my older brothers my whole life so why not fight my bullies too, i realized this too late however cuz soon after i was taken out of that school by my dad for getting into verbal and physical altercations
 
When I was bullied I realized that these guys are skinny and Ive had to fight my older brothers my whole life so why not fight my bullies too, i realized this too late however cuz soon after i was taken out of that school by my dad for getting into verbal and physical altercations
i dont loike u but u get it
if i was 4'7 7 yrs old fighting my 200lb mom i can yell or hit back at assholes
pain will always exisft and happen so let it and use it
 
When I was bullied I realized that these guys are skinny and Ive had to fight my older brothers my whole life so why not fight my bullies too, i realized this too late however cuz soon after i was taken out of that school by my dad for getting into verbal and physical altercations
Damn bro
I never got bullied physically at school or anything but I've been horribly abused by my brother my whole life and my parents have done almost nothing to stop it
 
i dont loike u but u get it
if i was 4'7 7 yrs old fighting my 200lb mom i can yell or hit back at assholes
pain will always exisft and happen so let it and use it
Bro threw in that she doesn't like me for no reason, ur mad while I'm over here picking my nose and smoking
 
Damn bro
I never got bullied physically at school or anything but I've been horribly abused by my brother my whole life and my parents have done almost nothing to stop it
My brothers gave me tough skin, one ghetto kid tried knocking me out so I dropped my hands and let him try, plenty hits later I wasn't down, now he's cool with me but I don't really care to be cool with him
 
My brothers gave me tough skin, one ghetto kid tried knocking me out so I dropped my hands and let him try, plenty hits later I wasn't down, now he's cool with me but I don't really care to be cool with him
Nga its diff when your brother is a actual psycho who breaks school records in the gym
I have videos of me crying begging while he punches me and screams about how he will crash the car and kill me and him
 
with autism i only have learned empathy, so im very good at being mean
I too thought that I only had learned empathy. what opened my eyes was that I could on some level understand what people were going through, even if that feeling was hidden away somewhere in the back of my mind
my empathy is still far from perfect, but I am working on improving on it. I think you can too
 
I too thought that I only had learned empathy. what opened my eyes was that I could on some level understand what people were going through, even if that feeling was hidden away somewhere in the back of my mind
my empathy is still far from perfect, but I am working on improving on it. I think you can too
im improving
idk my autism is weird tho
im reccesion not progression, i went from being offputting and loud, to no empathy and no social cues
i have the kind, ig, where it gets worse over time, i used to be so empathetic my chest wouyld hurt when ppl were sad
now i think feelings are weird and not neccesarry
 
Nga its diff when your brother is a actual psycho who breaks school records in the gym
I have videos of me crying begging while he punches me and screams about how he will crash the car and kill me and him
I wasnt comparing to you, I was just adding sum,
 
i have the kind, ig, where it gets worse over time, i used to be so empathetic my chest wouyld hurt when ppl were sad
now i think feelings are weird and not neccesarry
sounds a lot like a trauma response, eventually your brain stops feeling a wide range of emotions to cope with your situation
when did this start to happen? what was going on in your life around then?
 
sounds a lot like a trauma response, eventually your brain stops feeling a wide range of emotions to cope with your situation
when did this start to happen? what was going on in your life around then?
hmm
prolly usually trauma response
i started to recces in my diverg
prolly
last year?
idk ima be rlly open
my mom tried to kill me, and i had to move with my dad i never met, to a small town everyone i knew hated, i had prolly 1 exact year with some family a stable bf, friends, social life, things i never got to have as a heavily abused nd kid yk? i was always odd so i didnt get then
and i lost it all and, reclused, got cheated on, got faked out by the friends, family mainly in psychosis now
things went from really bad to really good like ive missed out on. and taken again.
shucks
 
my mom tried to kill me, and i had to move with my dad i never met, to a small town everyone i knew hated, i had prolly 1 exact year with some family a stable bf, friends, social life, things i never got to have as a heavily abused nd kid yk? i was always odd so i didnt get then
and i lost it all and, reclused, got cheated on, got faked out by the friends, family mainly in psychosis now
things went from really bad to really good like ive missed out on. and taken again.
that sounds fucking gut wrenching. definitely something that can cause trauma
have you gone to a therapist before?
 
that sounds fucking gut wrenching. definitely something that can cause trauma
have you gone to a therapist before?
8 therapists 3 shrinks 4 psychiatrists
all my therapists have laid me off due to being "ill equipped"
my last therapist was basically my bsf but i went into a bad episode and even with 20yrs experience she let me off cuz i was too much :c
idk man
it is gut wrenching
i just get high or drunk all day so i dont have to face it
i am crazy smart and i worked so hard to be goodlooking i should be such a person
but all i can do is idle and try not to be bored until i eventually kms
makes me feel like im not real, cruelly written book
 
8 therapists 3 shrinks 4 psychiatrists
all my therapists have laid me off due to being "ill equipped"
my last therapist was basically my bsf but i went into a bad episode and even with 20yrs experience she let me off cuz i was too much :c
idk man
it is gut wrenching
i just get high or drunk all day so i dont have to face it
i am crazy smart and i worked so hard to be goodlooking i should be such a person
but all i can do is idle and try not to be bored until i eventually kms
makes me feel like im not real, cruelly written book
I feel you
nothing feels like it's working, no matter how hard you try, it feels as if there's no hope
what if you do not give up yet? like searched for a heavy duty therapist who can walk you through what you're dealing with?
 
I feel you
nothing feels like it's working, no matter how hard you try, it feels as if there's no hope
what if you do not give up yet? like searched for a heavy duty therapist who can walk you through what you're dealing with?
idk
ive done alot of heavy duty, from hard drugs to electrotherapy
therapists 300$ an hour with dogs, to shocks into my brain while i think of my first truama
every excpensive treatment and every innovative
im in can, and my dad works in the diamond mines, so everythings covered
ive gotten every treatment easily
honestly tho? its nice to have no hope
my first time in the er for a bad episode was 6 and a half
ive been mental forever
so accepting my fate, and having the peace and surity theres nothing left to do
makes me feel safe and at home atleast\
i may be stuck like this, i may be ruined, but its all i know and it makes me like what i like ALOT
i may not get bliss but i get absurd happiness, painfuolly better
also about the therapist bit,m ive had doctors say ik more on mental then they do, ive been told i AM the dsm5, psychology and neurochemicals is my main hyperfixation, being so hurt since i was young i yearned to learn to figureout whats wrongly wired
 
idk
ive done alot of heavy duty, from hard drugs to electrotherapy
therapists 300$ an hour with dogs, to shocks into my brain while i think of my first truama
every excpensive treatment and every innovative
im in can, and my dad works in the diamond mines, so everythings covered
ive gotten every treatment easily
honestly tho? its nice to have no hope
my first time in the er for a bad episode was 6 and a half
ive been mental forever
so accepting my fate, and having the peace and surity theres nothing left to do
makes me feel safe and at home atleast\
i may be stuck like this, i may be ruined, but its all i know and it makes me like what i like ALOT
i may not get bliss but i get absurd happiness, painfuolly better
also about the therapist bit,m ive had doctors say ik more on mental then they do, ive been told i AM the dsm5, psychology and neurochemicals is my main hyperfixation, being so hurt since i was young i yearned to learn to figureout whats wrongly wired
i think part of being a mentalcel is grieving what you never had
but sometimes that grieving is what's preventing you from moving on. you eventually build an identity around grieving and can't imagine a world besides it
you said you were able to have a stable life for at least 1 year. that means it's not impossible for you, and you know that first-hand. don't give up
 
i think part of being a mentalcel is grieving what you never had
but sometimes that grieving is what's preventing you from moving on. you eventually build an identity around grieving and can't imagine a world besides it
you said you were able to have a stable life for at least 1 year. that means it's not impossible for you, and you know that first-hand. don't give up
meh
grief and nostalgia r only true emotions
deep rooted
the stability was a funny cruel chance, a dip into the garden of eden yk
im not mad or sad idrc, im happy ill die early
i know normal life wont happen for me and im zen with that
my peace was made years ago, i used to cry for days on end at the though of wasting all i had
now at the most, i lay back light a smoke and smile, im honestly really greatful, alot of people waste their life because they feel the need to use all they have
im amazing atleast, and it may not turn out to be anything, but that makes me freer and less owned than anyone i meet
i can do anything, all the time, most people cant
 
your posts scream a desperate desire to live a normal life
right
im trapped in my skin and concious
since i was a kid i wanted a kind nd husband hurt like me, a small white house with a purple door and a pretty porch, 2 girls 1 boy and a cat
i love and know normal, i have a traditional family so ofc i know it, farms and kids and health
but im realistic i guess, i know what ill get and what ill only hope for
 
Aww look at you two lovebirds
cuck
i fucking hate bullies too. though I think as you get older, people are less likely to be overt assholes and are a little bit more inviting
beat them up🤔
like the punisher yknow
i did that once
last month
and got grounded
maybe dont
but if ur bigger then bullies they dont bully u
so take roids or smth
 
beat them up🤔
like the punisher yknow
i did that once
last month
and got grounded
maybe dont
but if ur bigger then bullies they dont bully u
so take roids or smth
i beat my bullies up once in 5th grade but it was a 1v4 so I got fucked in the process
issue was the cyberbullying I had to deal with during covid and after
you cannot retaliate online against multiple people ganging up on you without friends of your own
and physical retaliation is the nuclear option that will fuck up your life and accomplish nothing
you're losing either way
 
i beat my bullies up once in 5th grade but it was a 1v4 so I got fucked in the process
issue was the cyberbullying I had to deal with during covid and after
you cannot retaliate online against multiple people ganging up on you without friends of your own
and physical retaliation is the nuclear option that will fuck up your life and accomplish nothing
you're losing either way
ye my whole thing started cus of cyber bullying too
three kids were making fun of my friend online cus hes alt
ur prolly past ur bullying ages now so my advice cant really help u anymore
but you can def be able to beat around 3 ppl in a fight with around 6 months of prep
js gotta be smart bout it
i didnt get in trouble w my school either
 
mentalcels. never. win.
nobody will understand or see througb me
i want a knife through the chest more than anything
well if you wanna die so bad why haven't you committed already
I'm not even tryna be rude but there's no point of complaining abt it
 
well if you wanna die so bad why haven't you committed already
I'm not even tryna be rude but there's no point of complaining abt it
omg she's banned
I'm talking to a wall
pls I'm too fried for this shit
 
chest just feels like itd be nice idk?
like a stake to the heart would just be so relieving, i think a gunshot to the head would too
idkhow to describe but itd be nice
No this is real. You need time to bleed out in a scenic location fr.
 

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