Great first date but no second? (21F)

[Taliablue]

I got a string of bad dates mostly because of my looks, then got bimax surgery, and went on my first date since my face changed and everything went really well.

We matched on that raya app, I had only had it for like 2 days, he messaged me same day saying he's one of the few people who've visited my hometown. then in the same day asked if I'd want to join him for a reservation he made at a speakeasy that night, since he had no one to go with. I usually never go on first dates with such short notice but it was really close to where I was living so I agreed. he also texted that it wouldn't be a late night because he had a work meeting the next morning, which I took as a green flag.

this is basically his profile
- nyc finance guy, good high profile job in investment banking
- 6'
- 27 y/o

basically the date went super well. he instantly recognized me and called out for me enthusiastically, seemed very smiley and intense eye contact throughout the entire night. the speakeasy was a high end exclusive art gallery type bar in nyc. he knows im an artist/painter so I really enjoyed it. he told me all the places that he visited in my hometown, really close to my old high school and childhood home etc which was crazy. he asked about my art and stuff, and if I had roommates, and that I could marry to get a green card, just some odd things I remembered. towards the end we got really touchy and I was pretty tipsy, we were leaning in super close the whole night and touching each others hair arms, and my thigh the whole night. we could've definitely made out by how close he was to me but I think I was scared. after 2 and a half hours we headed home, and he walked me to my train and we did share a kiss but it was just a peck on the lips, I think I was just nervous. he texted me asking if I got home alright, and I didn't get back until the next morning bc I passed out. he just replied 'no problem. I was just a little worried' and 'I had fun', I reciprocated and asked how his big meeting went and no reply since... it's been almost a week.

**Update he replied back asking how my weekend was

what could be the reason for this.

his communication style is short and simple and I think he reached out on the day bc he needed someone to fill his reservation that night. maybe its because im not hhtn enough that he would want to pursue more seriously, especially for a guy like him in nyc. you can see what I look like here if it helps build a picture. I'm 5'5 and 108 pounds so im underweight, my face might still have some swelling from my bimax 2 months ago.

 

[zentro]

It’s over for u foid, even bimax couldn’t save you
I’m truly sorry for you

 

[emeraldpill]

It’s over for u foid, even bimax couldn’t save you
I’m truly sorry for you

Her before and after is crazy tbh

 

[volcel]

I got a string of bad dates mostly because of my looks, then got bimax surgery, and went on my first date since my face changed and everything went really well.

We matched on that raya app, I had only had it for like 2 days, he messaged me same day saying he's one of the few people who've visited my hometown. then in the same day asked if I'd want to join him for a reservation he made at a speakeasy that night, since he had no one to go with. I usually never go on first dates with such short notice but it was really close to where I was living so I agreed. he also texted that it wouldn't be a late night because he had a work meeting the next morning, which I took as a green flag.

this is basically his profile
- nyc finance guy, good high profile job in investment banking
- 6'
- 27 y/o

basically the date went super well. he instantly recognized me and called out for me enthusiastically, seemed very smiley and intense eye contact throughout the entire night. the speakeasy was a high end exclusive art gallery type bar in nyc. he knows im an artist/painter so I really enjoyed it. he told me all the places that he visited in my hometown, really close to my old high school and childhood home etc which was crazy. he asked about my art and stuff, and if I had roommates, and that I could marry to get a green card, just some odd things I remembered. towards the end we got really touchy and I was pretty tipsy, we were leaning in super close the whole night and touching each others hair arms, and my thigh the whole night. we could've definitely made out by how close he was to me but I think I was scared. after 2 and a half hours we headed home, and he walked me to my train and we did share a kiss but it was just a peck on the lips, I think I was just nervous. he texted me asking if I got home alright, and I didn't get back until the next morning bc I passed out. he just replied 'no problem. I was just a little worried' and 'I had fun', I reciprocated and asked how his big meeting went and no reply since... it's been almost a week.

what could be the reason for this.

his communication style is short and simple and I think he reached out on the day bc he needed someone to fill his reservation that night. maybe its because im not hhtn enough that he would want to pursue more seriously, especially for a guy like him in nyc. you can see what I look like here if it helps build a picture. I'm 5'5 and 108 pounds so im underweight, my face might still have some swelling from my bimax 2 months ago.

Does he have a mental disorder by any chance? /gen

 

[Marlonmogsyouhaha]

Met someone better

 

[Pearex]

I don't think you're pretty enough for a serious relationship

 

[NDwigga]

I got a string of bad dates mostly because of my looks, then got bimax surgery, and went on my first date since my face changed and everything went really well.

We matched on that raya app, I had only had it for like 2 days, he messaged me same day saying he's one of the few people who've visited my hometown. then in the same day asked if I'd want to join him for a reservation he made at a speakeasy that night, since he had no one to go with. I usually never go on first dates with such short notice but it was really close to where I was living so I agreed. he also texted that it wouldn't be a late night because he had a work meeting the next morning, which I took as a green flag.

this is basically his profile
- nyc finance guy, good high profile job in investment banking
- 6'
- 27 y/o

basically the date went super well. he instantly recognized me and called out for me enthusiastically, seemed very smiley and intense eye contact throughout the entire night. the speakeasy was a high end exclusive art gallery type bar in nyc. he knows im an artist/painter so I really enjoyed it. he told me all the places that he visited in my hometown, really close to my old high school and childhood home etc which was crazy. he asked about my art and stuff, and if I had roommates, and that I could marry to get a green card, just some odd things I remembered. towards the end we got really touchy and I was pretty tipsy, we were leaning in super close the whole night and touching each others hair arms, and my thigh the whole night. we could've definitely made out by how close he was to me but I think I was scared. after 2 and a half hours we headed home, and he walked me to my train and we did share a kiss but it was just a peck on the lips, I think I was just nervous. he texted me asking if I got home alright, and I didn't get back until the next morning bc I passed out. he just replied 'no problem. I was just a little worried' and 'I had fun', I reciprocated and asked how his big meeting went and no reply since... it's been almost a week.

what could be the reason for this.

his communication style is short and simple and I think he reached out on the day bc he needed someone to fill his reservation that night. maybe its because im not hhtn enough that he would want to pursue more seriously, especially for a guy like him in nyc. you can see what I look like here if it helps build a picture. I'm 5'5 and 108 pounds so im underweight, my face might still have some swelling from my bimax 2 months ago.

judging by ur pics ur an ethnic mtb def not good enough to pull the men u expect to

 

[Taliablue]

Does he have a mental disorder by any chance? /gen

why?

 

[tonisworld]

I got a string of bad dates mostly because of my looks, then got bimax surgery, and went on my first date since my face changed and everything went really well.

We matched on that raya app, I had only had it for like 2 days, he messaged me same day saying he's one of the few people who've visited my hometown. then in the same day asked if I'd want to join him for a reservation he made at a speakeasy that night, since he had no one to go with. I usually never go on first dates with such short notice but it was really close to where I was living so I agreed. he also texted that it wouldn't be a late night because he had a work meeting the next morning, which I took as a green flag.

this is basically his profile
- nyc finance guy, good high profile job in investment banking
- 6'
- 27 y/o

basically the date went super well. he instantly recognized me and called out for me enthusiastically, seemed very smiley and intense eye contact throughout the entire night. the speakeasy was a high end exclusive art gallery type bar in nyc. he knows im an artist/painter so I really enjoyed it. he told me all the places that he visited in my hometown, really close to my old high school and childhood home etc which was crazy. he asked about my art and stuff, and if I had roommates, and that I could marry to get a green card, just some odd things I remembered. towards the end we got really touchy and I was pretty tipsy, we were leaning in super close the whole night and touching each others hair arms, and my thigh the whole night. we could've definitely made out by how close he was to me but I think I was scared. after 2 and a half hours we headed home, and he walked me to my train and we did share a kiss but it was just a peck on the lips, I think I was just nervous. he texted me asking if I got home alright, and I didn't get back until the next morning bc I passed out. he just replied 'no problem. I was just a little worried' and 'I had fun', I reciprocated and asked how his big meeting went and no reply since... it's been almost a week.

what could be the reason for this.

his communication style is short and simple and I think he reached out on the day bc he needed someone to fill his reservation that night. maybe its because im not hhtn enough that he would want to pursue more seriously, especially for a guy like him in nyc. you can see what I look like here if it helps build a picture. I'm 5'5 and 108 pounds so im underweight, my face might still have some swelling from my bimax 2 months ago.

Oh it's you haha. Why don't you ask him. If you really wanna know what's the issue, maybe he's not looking for anything serious most guys aren't. Maybe he's just busy as he's in finance it can be stressful, I never take it personally.

 

[tonisworld]

judging by ur pics ur an ethnic mtb def not good enough to pull the men u expect to

He already went on a date with her gng what are you on about

 

[tonisworld]

I don't think you're pretty enough for a serious relationship

Bro what I seen damn near new species or Wales in serious relationships

 

[Taliablue]

judging by ur pics ur an ethnic mtb def not good enough to pull the men u expect to

yea I agree, if I were to go through with my ascension plan here, could I get into relationship territory with these men?

 

[tonisworld]

yea I agree, if I were to go through with my ascension plan here, could I get into relationship territory with these men?

You already went on date w him n***a don't think it's purely cause looks he already knew what u look like n dated you

 

[Taliablue]

d a
I’m truly sorry for you

here you can see my before and after, its the best I can do, I had a really bad base. I still have 30% ascension I want to do in the plan. what do you think?

 

[VitaminDee]

Did he try to get you to a private place and get intimate?

Probably wanted to get action and didn't feel like you stand out enough for more

 

[TonyDr]

I got a string of bad dates mostly because of my looks, then got bimax surgery, and went on my first date since my face changed and everything went really well.

We matched on that raya app, I had only had it for like 2 days, he messaged me same day saying he's one of the few people who've visited my hometown. then in the same day asked if I'd want to join him for a reservation he made at a speakeasy that night, since he had no one to go with. I usually never go on first dates with such short notice but it was really close to where I was living so I agreed. he also texted that it wouldn't be a late night because he had a work meeting the next morning, which I took as a green flag.

this is basically his profile
- nyc finance guy, good high profile job in investment banking
- 6'
- 27 y/o

basically the date went super well. he instantly recognized me and called out for me enthusiastically, seemed very smiley and intense eye contact throughout the entire night. the speakeasy was a high end exclusive art gallery type bar in nyc. he knows im an artist/painter so I really enjoyed it. he told me all the places that he visited in my hometown, really close to my old high school and childhood home etc which was crazy. he asked about my art and stuff, and if I had roommates, and that I could marry to get a green card, just some odd things I remembered. towards the end we got really touchy and I was pretty tipsy, we were leaning in super close the whole night and touching each others hair arms, and my thigh the whole night. we could've definitely made out by how close he was to me but I think I was scared. after 2 and a half hours we headed home, and he walked me to my train and we did share a kiss but it was just a peck on the lips, I think I was just nervous. he texted me asking if I got home alright, and I didn't get back until the next morning bc I passed out. he just replied 'no problem. I was just a little worried' and 'I had fun', I reciprocated and asked how his big meeting went and no reply since... it's been almost a week.

what could be the reason for this.

his communication style is short and simple and I think he reached out on the day bc he needed someone to fill his reservation that night. maybe its because im not hhtn enough that he would want to pursue more seriously, especially for a guy like him in nyc. you can see what I look like here if it helps build a picture. I'm 5'5 and 108 pounds so im underweight, my face might still have some swelling from my bimax 2 months ago.

I wasn't into you as a potential ONS/Gf, but cared enough if you came home safely. You should just move on and don't expect nothing from him

 

[Auggy]

I don't think you're pretty enough for a serious relationship

She looks good fym. Lame n***a

 

[tonisworld]

She looks good fym. Lame n***a

Plus he already KNEW what she looked like.it could be that he simply wants a different type of partner as far as their goals, morals and ambitions, could be that he's just wanting to date various girls and explore it could be that he's actually busy with work and he will respond asp.

 

[Pearex]

She looks good fym. Lame n***a

Personal preference

 

[tonisworld]

Personal preference

Are you into Asian girls in general

 

[Taliablue]

Plus he already KNEW what she looked like.it could be that he simply wants a different type of partner as far as their goals, morals and ambitions, could be that he's just wanting to date various girls and explore it could be that he's actually busy with work and he will respond asp.

so am I on the right track in saying that my looks are okay but not extraordinary enough, combined with maybe not complete compatibility. like if I was a 5/10 for his personal looks preference and 6/10 for his compatibility preferences. then im just meh and he could definitely pursue better options.

 

[Pearex]

Are you into Asian girls in general

I’m into people, not races

 

[tonisworld]

so am I on the right track in saying that my looks are okay but not extraordinary enough, combined with maybe not complete compatibility. like if I was a 5/10 for his personal looks preference and 6/10 for his compatibility preferences. then im just meh and he could definitely pursue better options.

I would agree with you if he didn't already know what u looked like. Unless u cat fish him he obviously known what u look like and thoight ur hot enough to go and meet. Compatibigy is often the issue if u meeting someone from online dating unless ur catfishing. Don't over think it. It just wasn't made for you move on

 

[tonisworld]

I would agree with you if he didn't already know what u looked like. Unless u cat fish him he obviously known what u look like and thoight ur hot enough to go and meet. Compatibigy is often the issue if u meeting someone from online dating unless ur catfishing. Don't over think it. It just wasn't made for you move on

OP can we see what photos u used on the profile vs what you shown here

 

[Taliablue]

I would agree with you if he didn't already know what u looked like. Unless u cat fish him he obviously known what u look like and thoight ur hot enough to go and meet. Compatibigy is often the issue if u meeting someone from online dating unless ur catfishing. Don't over think it. It just wasn't made for you move on

got it. thanks I appreciate the feedback. he recognized me and seemed pleasantly surprised irl so I hope it was not a catfishing thing. This was a completely opposite reaction in my previous dates before my bimax, where I would have to say hi first and they would avoid eye contact with me throughout. am I safe to say the problem then falls under the compatibility issue? ofc me not being mind-blowing looks wise also contributes

 

[volcel]

why?

It would make more sense if he had one idk

 

[tonisworld]

got it. thanks I appreciate the feedback. he recognized me and seemed pleasantly surprised irl so I hope it was not a catfishing thing. This was a completely opposite reaction in my previous dates before my bimax, where I would have to say hi first and they would avoid eye contact with me throughout. am I safe to say the problem then falls under the compatibility issue? ofc me not being mind-blowing looks wise also contributes

I don't think it contributes enough because he already thought you're hot. And guys be sleeping with trucks, I think looks is eur safe if he knew what you look like it does come down to compatibility. He's 27 you said, he's a decent amount older than you. I've been on dates with girls much younger like 22 ish and I'm 33 for context I felt like I was in two different worlds. Like they still have so much to learn and we are just in different stages of life. I also kinda ghosted them after a few dates. I think another thing is the ghosting culture is common in the west. I've ghosted and been ghosted. It's no big deal. I could still have had a cute date but if I'm looking for something specific I didn't find in the person I went on a date with I will just leave it there.

 

[Taliablue]

.

 

[Taliablue]

It would make more sense if he had one idk

what would make more sense? he's too mentally ill to date a girl that looks like me?

 

[tonisworld]

View attachment 291665View attachment 291666View attachment 291668View attachment 291669

You look good gng they look more or less the same. Unles su edited them or the body etc. It's not to do with ur appearance.

 

[tonisworld]

.

Looking at ur old photos man ur ascension is so insane one of the best improvements I've ever seen

 

[Taliablue]

OP can we see what photos u used on the profile vs what you shown here

what I looked like on date, I am underweight 108 pounds but my face just might not show it from residual swelling

 

[tonisworld]

View attachment 291671View attachment 291672View attachment 291673View attachment 291675

what I looked like on date, I am underweight 108 pounds but my face just might not show it from residual swelling
View attachment 291677

It's not looks u look same

 

[Taliablue]

You look good gng they look more or less the same. Unles su edited them or the body etc. It's not to do with ur appearance.

okay makes sense. bc this was the first date he seemed pleasantly surprised with my appearance.

here were my faces on dates before bimax, they all ignored me and left under an hour. that seemed like a catfishing problem. is the treatment I'm receiving aligning with the faces I had at the time?

 

[aesense]

judging by ur pics ur an ethnic mtb def not good enough to pull the men u expect to

Yeah but she’s Asian. So it’s easy for her to pull corporate white guys.

 

[Taliablue]

It’s over for u foid, even bimax couldn’t save you
I’m truly sorry for you

is this because of my phenotype? attaching a before here. I've genuinely tried my best. I potentially hoping to still ascend more with a few more procedures though. lmk what u think

 

[Volksstaffel]

I got a string of bad dates mostly because of my looks, then got bimax surgery, and went on my first date since my face changed and everything went really well.

We matched on that raya app, I had only had it for like 2 days, he messaged me same day saying he's one of the few people who've visited my hometown. then in the same day asked if I'd want to join him for a reservation he made at a speakeasy that night, since he had no one to go with. I usually never go on first dates with such short notice but it was really close to where I was living so I agreed. he also texted that it wouldn't be a late night because he had a work meeting the next morning, which I took as a green flag.

this is basically his profile
- nyc finance guy, good high profile job in investment banking
- 6'
- 27 y/o

basically the date went super well. he instantly recognized me and called out for me enthusiastically, seemed very smiley and intense eye contact throughout the entire night. the speakeasy was a high end exclusive art gallery type bar in nyc. he knows im an artist/painter so I really enjoyed it. he told me all the places that he visited in my hometown, really close to my old high school and childhood home etc which was crazy. he asked about my art and stuff, and if I had roommates, and that I could marry to get a green card, just some odd things I remembered. towards the end we got really touchy and I was pretty tipsy, we were leaning in super close the whole night and touching each others hair arms, and my thigh the whole night. we could've definitely made out by how close he was to me but I think I was scared. after 2 and a half hours we headed home, and he walked me to my train and we did share a kiss but it was just a peck on the lips, I think I was just nervous. he texted me asking if I got home alright, and I didn't get back until the next morning bc I passed out. he just replied 'no problem. I was just a little worried' and 'I had fun', I reciprocated and asked how his big meeting went and no reply since... it's been almost a week.

what could be the reason for this.

his communication style is short and simple and I think he reached out on the day bc he needed someone to fill his reservation that night. maybe its because im not hhtn enough that he would want to pursue more seriously, especially for a guy like him in nyc. you can see what I look like here if it helps build a picture. I'm 5'5 and 108 pounds so im underweight, my face might still have some swelling from my bimax 2 months ago.

You look kinda old ngl

 

[VitaminDee]

You look kinda old ngl

Especially for an asian chick. Side effect of several surgeries I think

Careful OP to keep your youthful appearance in check

 

[zentro]

is this because of my phenotype? attaching a before here. I've genuinely tried my best. I potentially hoping to still ascend more with a few more procedures though. lmk what u think

Yes sadly, phenotype is brutal, but mirin ur ascension and effort

 

[giga.mia]

View attachment 291671View attachment 291672View attachment 291673View attachment 291675

what I looked like on date, I am underweight 108 pounds but my face just might not show it from residual swelling
View attachment 291677

I think u look good

 

[VitaminDee]

Yes sadly, phenotype is brutal, but mirin ur ascension and effort

You're projecting female gaze into male gaze analysis. Asian pheno is one of the most sought after by men. Wasian is higher but asian is well ranked still. Top 3 maybe

 

[zentro]

here you can see my before and after, its the best I can do, I had a really bad base. I still have 30% ascension I want to do in the plan. what do you think?

Icl u should’ve done lefort 2 instead of one, u still look recessed even after ur surgery, and tbh u did surgeries for ur main flaws, and wtv u do next wouldn’t make that much of a difference in my opinion

 

[Taliablue]

Icl u should’ve done lefort 2 instead of one, u still look recessed even after ur surgery, and tbh u did surgeries for ur main flaws, and wtv u do next wouldn’t make that much of a difference in my opinion

for sure. considering my base. hard to find a surgeon to do lefort II for aesthetics. probably would've ascended me more. now I just gotta work with what I got. I'll still go through with the 4th procedure as an improvement is still an improvement. do you have any good examples of an asian female who is maxed out in her phenotype?

 

[Taliablue]

You're projecting female gaze into male gaze analysis. Asian pheno is one of the most sought after by men. Wasian is higher but asian is well ranked still. Top 3 maybe

right. so if I focus on maxing out my phenotype, could it possibly be more of an advantage for me in dating? And if I tailor my procedures to give me more wasian features, which I've been doing so far, this would place me in top %?

 

[VitaminDee]

right. so if I focus on maxing out my phenotype, could it possibly be more of an advantage for me in dating? And if I tailor my procedures to give me more wasian features, which I've been doing so far, this would place me in top %?

If you max out your pheno it's nichemaxing which still works as your pheno is relatively demanded. You'll be top 10% within your niche

If you go the wasian route, it's more universal appeal but more surgeries and risk of botching. You could wasianize your eyes by making them bigger for example but it's a very intrusive surgery and even 1 or 2mm off could descend your face

 

[Taliablue]

Especially for an asian chick. Side effect of several surgeries I think

Careful OP to keep your youthful appearance in check

ahhh right. I looked even older before the bimax, I'd say I got a little bit better. but whats giving that older look away rn?

 

[Taliablue]

I don't think it contributes enough because he already thought you're hot. And guys be sleeping with trucks, I think looks is eur safe if he knew what you look like it does come down to compatibility. He's 27 you said, he's a decent amount older than you. I've been on dates with girls much younger like 22 ish and I'm 33 for context I felt like I was in two different worlds. Like they still have so much to learn and we are just in different stages of life. I also kinda ghosted them after a few dates. I think another thing is the ghosting culture is common in the west. I've ghosted and been ghosted. It's no big deal. I could still have had a cute date but if I'm looking for something specific I didn't find in the person I went on a date with I will just leave it there.

update, he just replied back asking how my weekend was

 

[tonisworld]

update, he just replied back asking how my weekend was

Happy for you but don't rely on him to be consistent or to have value for urself.