hanging out with dumb people just makes me mad

[junebug]

but being mad at people for things they can't help is a bad thing, so I will continue to do it until it no longer makes me mad.

 

[icnone]

dumb in what sense?

 

[junebug]

dumb in what sense?

unable to control their emotions, the attention grabby type of insecure, ambitionless, lazy, learned helplessness-type personality.

 

[splanky]

unable to control their emotions, the attention grabby type of insecure, ambitionless, lazy, learned helplessness-type personality.

i hate this sm it’s unreal and couldn’t describe it until now ty

 

[junebug]

i hate this sm it’s unreal and couldn’t describe it until now ty

vocabulary is one of my strong suits, and thank you!

 

[kiyoomi999]

So don’t hang out with retards

 

[icnone]

unable to control their emotions, the attention grabby type of insecure, ambitionless, lazy, learned helplessness-type personality.

oh I thought dumb = unintelligent

though it seems more like you are describing people with a mix of different mental issues:
- anxious attachment
- poor emotional regulation
- executive dysfunction

or do you mean something else?

 

[junebug]

oh I thought dumb = unintelligent

though it seems more like you are describing people with a mix of different mental issues:
- anxious attachment
- poor emotional regulation
- executive dysfunction

or do you mean something else?

I am talking about people who are unintelligent as well. I dislike being around these people when they make their problems my problems, I understand when people have issues they can't control but when you take no steps to improve yourself and live in delusion it's infuriating.

 

[junebug]

So don’t hang out with retards

did you even read my thread?

 

[icnone]

I am talking about people who are unintelligent as well

100%
I never understood how people fail classes where the exams are just "what is 1+1?"

I dislike being around these people when they make their problems my problems, I understand when people have issues they can't control but when you take no steps to improve yourself and live in delusion it's infuriating.

but doesn't this support avoidant behavior? I realized after a long time that expressing my problems to others just made me look negative and unlikable all the time and that it's better not to talk. especially after joining this forum, I started to see other users who I acted like in the past and it opened my eyes to how I looked to other people
but if everyone is a emotional brick wall and decides to not open up in fear of being negative or unlikable, how do you foster closeness? what if the relationship or friendship has an issue?

 

[junebug]

100%
I never understood how people fail classes where the exams are just "what is 1+1?"

but doesn't this support avoidant behavior? I realized after a long time that expressing my problems to others just made me look negative and unlikable all the time and that it's better not to talk. especially after joining this forum, I started to see other users who I acted like in the past and it opened my eyes to how I looked to other people
but if everyone is a emotional brick wall and decides to not open up in fear of being negative or unlikable, how do you foster closeness? what if the relationship or friendship has an issue?

I don't mind when friends vent to me, that is not the problem. I just dislike when people expect me to handle symptoms of their mental illness like random outbursts and then they can just get away with it and not get better.

 

[icnone]

I don't mind when friends vent to me, that is not the problem. I just dislike when people expect me to handle symptoms of their mental illness like random outbursts and then they can just get away with it and not get better.

that's a normal human reaction . nobody wants to deal with "not this shit again" for the 5000th time

but from their perspective, they tend to be blind to how their behaviors come off to other people. furthermore, they don't really have anybody else to open up to. worst of all, they've built their identity around their suffering as a coping mechanism. their resistance to self-improvement itself is a symptom of their mental state, because they've settled in a local minima of sorts. improving requires letting go of that coping mechanism and suffering more for a period of time before there is any chance things could get better.

that isn't to say you should be somebody's personal therapist, but a lot of dumb people are human too and once you step in their shoes, you'll understand why they behave the way they do

 

[junebug]

that's a normal human reaction . nobody wants to deal with "not this shit again" for the 5000th time

but from their perspective, they tend to be blind to how their behaviors come off to other people. furthermore, they don't really have anybody else to open up to. worst of all, they've built their identity around their suffering as a coping mechanism. their resistance to self-improvement itself is a symptom of their mental state, because they've settled in a local minima of sorts. improving requires letting go of that coping mechanism and suffering more for a period of time before there is any chance things could get better.

that isn't to say you should be somebody's personal therapist, but a lot of dumb people are human too and once you step in their shoes, you'll understand why they behave the way they do

absolutely, you're correct. and I always try my best to be empathetic and kind. but it does get to a point and I have had to stop talking to people because no matter how much I tried to help they only wished to wallow in their own misery.

 

[icnone]

absolutely, you're correct. and I always try my best to be empathetic and kind. but it does get to a point and I have had to stop talking to people because no matter how much I tried to help they only wished to wallow in their own misery.

agreed, feels bad but at some point it becomes hard to bear with them
the entire situation sucks to begin with

 

[junebug]

agreed, feels bad but at some point it becomes hard to bear with them
the entire situation sucks to begin with

The last time I stretched myself thin for a friend, I was made aware that he was falsely entertaining suicide to get my attention. so forgive me for having a bit of a short temper when it comes to this stuff.

 

[icnone]

falsely entertaining suicide

how do people do that without embarrassing themselves???

to get my attention

ok that's just textbook manipulation

 

[viasco]

just start bullying them for it

 

[junebug]

View attachment 352960
how do people do that without embarrassing themselves???

ok that's just textbook manipulation

he was clingy, jealous, not to mention sub5 and looked 3x his age. I do not know why I even cared.

 

[junebug]

just start bullying them for it

I try to rise above that.

 

[icnone]

he was clingy, jealous, not to mention sub5 and looked 3x his age. I do not know why I even cared.

that feeling when you step back and rethink old decisions and realize "wow, I would never have done that now"

 

[junebug]

that feeling when you step back and rethink old decisions and realize "wow, I would never have done that now"

I meet people, get attached, and let too much slide. I do not have many friends, so when one goes rogue I try to resolve situations before eventually give up and let go.

 

[viasco]

I try to rise above that.

based

 

[Roxas]

but being mad at people for things they can't help is a bad thing, so I will continue to do it until it no longer makes me mad.

I get it lol

 

[icnone]

I meet people, get attached, and let too much slide. I do not have many friends, so when one goes rogue I try to resolve situations before eventually give up and let go.

same, I just have so few people I talk to that I give too much importance to each bond. meanwhile I might be over my head and the other person just sees me as a mere acquaintance. idk, maybe they have 500 other people they talk to and I am just another face

whenever somebody sends me a message out of the blue, I always get a little bit stressed. I mean this one interaction is what this person will determine what they think of me. I have to take time and pick my words carefully. I end up replying to all messages, even when I shouldn't

 

[viasco]

you two should become besties & ascend together

i love a happy ending

 

[junebug]

same, I just have so few people I talk to that I give too much importance to each bond. meanwhile I might be over my head and the other person just sees me as a mere acquaintance. idk, maybe they have 500 other people they talk to and I am just another face

whenever somebody sends me a message out of the blue, I always get a little bit stressed. I mean this one interaction is what this person will determine what they think of me. I have to take time and pick my words carefully. I end up replying to all messages, even when I shouldn't

I understand. When I had no friends I used to target other loners, higher chance of them accepting me. unfortunately I also learned why most of them were loners.

 

[junebug]

you two should become besties & ascend together

i love a happy ending

me and @icnone ? I think we are friends.

 

[viasco]

me and @icnone ? I think we are friends.

do not think. just be

 

[icnone]

I understand. When I had no friends I used to target other loners, higher chance of them accepting me. unfortunately I also learned why most of them were loners.

It really makes you step back and think "is this how I've always appeared to others?"

I remember having two mentors I kept on venting to over email as college decisions were rolling in. I started saying stuff like "I wasted 4 years of my high school for absolutely nothing." After a while, one of them called me saying that he got a complaint from the other mentor that I was being overly dramatic and hard to deal with.

When I look back now, I just feel so much embarrassment. I wish I could unsend all of those emails.

you two should become besties & ascend together

i love a happy ending

lol I need to psychiatrymaxx and therapymaxx before I can ascend with anyone

me and @icnone ? I think we are friends.

yup

 

[junebug]

It really makes you step back and think "is this how I've always appeared to others?"

I remember having two mentors I kept on venting to over email as college decisions were rolling in. I started saying stuff like "I wasted 4 years of my high school for absolutely nothing." After a while, one of them called me saying that he got a complaint from the other mentor that I was being overly dramatic and hard to deal with.

When I look back now, I just feel so much embarrassment. I wish I could unsend all of those emails.

I was an odd woman. but I could have been much worse.

 

[icnone]

I was an odd woman. but I could have been much worse.

whoever makes a pill that magically erases cringy memories will certainly be a rich person

 

[lowtiersubhuman]

but being mad at people for things they can't help is a bad thing, so I will continue to do it until it no longer makes me mad.

I literally just feel bad for like actually dumb ppl unless they are ignorant fucks

 

[junebug]

whoever makes a pill that magically erases cringy memories will certainly be a rich person

The memories we hold shape our character now. You wouldn't want to make the same mistake right?
You are like a machine, the machine-learning model is life.

 

[junebug]

I literally just feel bad for like actually dumb ppl unless they are ignorant fucks

absolutely, I hold no resentment toward people who cannot help it.

 

[lowtiersubhuman]

absolutely, I hold no resentment toward people who cannot help it.

That must be a sad life tbh

 

[junebug]

That must be a sad life tbh

They wouldn't know. Most people who are helplessly dumb are some of the happiest I know.

 

[lowtiersubhuman]

They wouldn't know. Most people who are helplessly dumb are some of the happiest I know.

Ehh i guess but from am outside perspective

 

[junebug]

Ehh i guess but from am outside perspective

True. what they don't know won't hurt them

 

[lowtiersubhuman]

True. what they don't know won't hurt them

Yeah i guess i mean I volunteer with alot of mentally disabled people and most seem pretty happen alot of the time

 

[junebug]

Yeah i guess i mean I volunteer with alot of mentally disabled people and most seem pretty happen alot of the time

they're very sweet individuals. I know a few myself.

 

[icnone]

The memories we hold shape our character now. You wouldn't want to make the same mistake right?
You are like a machine, the machine-learning model is life.

true
it's just that I get embarrassment every time I remember these memories
but I suppose this is the price you would have to pay if you ever wanted to stop being a loner
once you realize what you were doing wrong all along, it will completely change your perception of yourself
maybe 10 years from now I would be getting lots of embarrassment at how I am today
funny how that works

 

[junebug]

true
it's just that I get embarrassment every time I remember these memories
but I suppose this is the price you would have to pay if you ever wanted to stop being a loner
once you realize what you were doing wrong all along, it will completely change your perception of yourself
maybe 10 years from now I would be getting lots of embarrassment at how I am today
funny how that works

It's all part of the process!

 

[icnone]

It's all part of the process!

indeed

 

[lowtiersubhuman]

they're very sweet individuals. I know a few myself.

My guy i won't say his name but he is 6'5 300 pound black dude but he's so high pitched and the sweetest dude ever
Always give me a fistbump