these are all factual and have been vetted by historians, so brave of these survivors to tell their truth. hopefully they will be featured in the new nuremburg movie:
>my best friend, Wile E. Shekelburg looked up. there’s a shadow. he blinked twice before realizing it’s the Nazis dropping anvils on him, defying gravity for half a second out of politeness before crushing him flat like a pancake. his eyes blinked solemnly through the metal sheet that used to be his body, now occupied by empty space in the shape of a swastika.
>my associate Yidsemite Sam picked up a stick of dynamite thinking it’s his cigar. the guard, Bugs Nazi politely handed him a match. he puffed twice, looking confused by the sizzling sound, and muttered, “this ain’t no Cuban” KA-BOOM! the cigar exploded leaving his face black and with spiky hair.
>my grandfather, Gossamer Goldstien stumbled upon a devious nazi catapult net trap. Goldstien politely asked the guard, Daffy Dachau “what’s dis button do?” the net proceeded to ensnare him and launch him directly into the gas chamber.
>Elmer Fuhrer dropped a bunch of rakes on a field in dark and made my grandpa run through it alongside other prisoners, he died from a head concussion when he stepped on one of them.
>my grandfather, Tweety Teitelbaum tried to bring the notorious rudolph roadrunner to justice by suspending a piano over the roadway. the piano failed to fall on the nazis head when my grandfather pulled the rip cord. when Tieltelbaum went to investigate, the piano crashed down onto him, replacing his teeth with piano keys.
>my best friend, Wile E. Shekelburg looked up. there’s a shadow. he blinked twice before realizing it’s the Nazis dropping anvils on him, defying gravity for half a second out of politeness before crushing him flat like a pancake. his eyes blinked solemnly through the metal sheet that used to be his body, now occupied by empty space in the shape of a swastika.
>my associate Yidsemite Sam picked up a stick of dynamite thinking it’s his cigar. the guard, Bugs Nazi politely handed him a match. he puffed twice, looking confused by the sizzling sound, and muttered, “this ain’t no Cuban” KA-BOOM! the cigar exploded leaving his face black and with spiky hair.
>my grandfather, Gossamer Goldstien stumbled upon a devious nazi catapult net trap. Goldstien politely asked the guard, Daffy Dachau “what’s dis button do?” the net proceeded to ensnare him and launch him directly into the gas chamber.
>Elmer Fuhrer dropped a bunch of rakes on a field in dark and made my grandpa run through it alongside other prisoners, he died from a head concussion when he stepped on one of them.
>my grandfather, Tweety Teitelbaum tried to bring the notorious rudolph roadrunner to justice by suspending a piano over the roadway. the piano failed to fall on the nazis head when my grandfather pulled the rip cord. when Tieltelbaum went to investigate, the piano crashed down onto him, replacing his teeth with piano keys.
