Ibn
Well-known member
I have this one friend, great guy and pretty smart he is currently studying medicine, but the thing is recently after knowing him for 8 years I have realised within the past 6 months just how much he loves drama. He loves arguing, and writing long paragraphs and using words like "maturity" "self expression" "lack of emotional investment" "you're manipulating me" "No emotional maturity" etc, and other ones (idk how someone even knows the more complex ones he uses).
Anyway, I started telling another freind of mine more about it and it occured to me that yk what, within the past 6 weeks he's made around at least 4 arguments a week, and they have been over small issues with people within the friend group, something as small as not holding a door fully for him (as in literally fully open), not texting long paragarphs for very long periods of time every day, not doing what other people are doing compared to social media (as in like not travelling to 5 different countries within like 1 month, not constantly going out to the cinemas, restaurants etc every day) and then going on friend making apps and then writing messages like "this new friend is much more better then you guys). I finally had enough after just brushing off the things he did, and giving a lot of second chances and then just wrote a long ass paragraph and called him out and then now he's been ignoring which is fine, but then also telling and commading others in the GC to do so (but it's fine cause they know me and they all told me when he was privatley messaging them).
It caught me off guard, because this is someone who I did trust, and did not expect to do what he did (ibr it's too long to type out everything he's been doing/doing now) but I did learn some key things.
When yk someone don't ignore little things, I mean he used to watch a lot of love island, and I did wonder why he loved it soo much, especially the arguments, but at the time I didn't think too much of it.
He loved family drama, and whenever someone would mention it happening or if he would mention it he would literally get excited and have all the energy in the world
And there was this constant belittling of other people, yk according to where their origins are from, external factors beyond their control, how they looked, how they spoke, what they liked
And a high useage of TikTok and keeping up with trends. I mean he's great when it comes to knowing things, but he keeps up with too much stuff and so there's this constant need to keep up with others, and to do what "fits". Ie he would literally change his own opnions based on whats popular, like dressing trends, forms of speaking etc
I would say that now I understand the importance of having people in your life who are drama free, it's much better then people yk arguing with you, cause if it's a stranger then it's fine you can ignore them, but if it's someone who you grew up with its much harder to detach from them, especially when they are not completely bad, but rather have bad aspects of their behaviour mixed in with good.
When you ask people initially what their into, and you get to know a person, see how much they like drama and how they deal with it. And on that point, even if you have been friends with someone for quite some years, it doesn't mean that you know the person entirely. YOU HAVE TO have been through negative situations, parts where you have/had nothing to offer, parts where you didn't give them as much attention, momemts where they can just leave you without anything to miss. Notice small things about them, and pay attention.
I would say that now I can see manipulation a lot more easily (whether being done intentionally or unintentionally) and also now ACTUALLY understand why people say they want to just go in the forest and build a wooden cabin and not deal with other people, and understand why so many people keep banging on about "protecting their inner peace and clarity" and want a "drama free life". It wasn't anything major which happened like people go through wayyy worse, but it was enough for me to actually pay attention more
I'm still going to be friends with this guy but like now with the knowledge of how he actually is, and add some distance. Btw he did appologise but still kinda defend his behaviour so he's not changed
Anyway, I started telling another freind of mine more about it and it occured to me that yk what, within the past 6 weeks he's made around at least 4 arguments a week, and they have been over small issues with people within the friend group, something as small as not holding a door fully for him (as in literally fully open), not texting long paragarphs for very long periods of time every day, not doing what other people are doing compared to social media (as in like not travelling to 5 different countries within like 1 month, not constantly going out to the cinemas, restaurants etc every day) and then going on friend making apps and then writing messages like "this new friend is much more better then you guys). I finally had enough after just brushing off the things he did, and giving a lot of second chances and then just wrote a long ass paragraph and called him out and then now he's been ignoring which is fine, but then also telling and commading others in the GC to do so (but it's fine cause they know me and they all told me when he was privatley messaging them).
It caught me off guard, because this is someone who I did trust, and did not expect to do what he did (ibr it's too long to type out everything he's been doing/doing now) but I did learn some key things.
When yk someone don't ignore little things, I mean he used to watch a lot of love island, and I did wonder why he loved it soo much, especially the arguments, but at the time I didn't think too much of it.
He loved family drama, and whenever someone would mention it happening or if he would mention it he would literally get excited and have all the energy in the world
And there was this constant belittling of other people, yk according to where their origins are from, external factors beyond their control, how they looked, how they spoke, what they liked
And a high useage of TikTok and keeping up with trends. I mean he's great when it comes to knowing things, but he keeps up with too much stuff and so there's this constant need to keep up with others, and to do what "fits". Ie he would literally change his own opnions based on whats popular, like dressing trends, forms of speaking etc
I would say that now I understand the importance of having people in your life who are drama free, it's much better then people yk arguing with you, cause if it's a stranger then it's fine you can ignore them, but if it's someone who you grew up with its much harder to detach from them, especially when they are not completely bad, but rather have bad aspects of their behaviour mixed in with good.
When you ask people initially what their into, and you get to know a person, see how much they like drama and how they deal with it. And on that point, even if you have been friends with someone for quite some years, it doesn't mean that you know the person entirely. YOU HAVE TO have been through negative situations, parts where you have/had nothing to offer, parts where you didn't give them as much attention, momemts where they can just leave you without anything to miss. Notice small things about them, and pay attention.
I would say that now I can see manipulation a lot more easily (whether being done intentionally or unintentionally) and also now ACTUALLY understand why people say they want to just go in the forest and build a wooden cabin and not deal with other people, and understand why so many people keep banging on about "protecting their inner peace and clarity" and want a "drama free life". It wasn't anything major which happened like people go through wayyy worse, but it was enough for me to actually pay attention more
I'm still going to be friends with this guy but like now with the knowledge of how he actually is, and add some distance. Btw he did appologise but still kinda defend his behaviour so he's not changed
