• No showers. Let your natural oils build up.
• Stop brushing teeth or hair. Plaque = authenticity.
• Grow out everything: nails, hair, eyebrows. The more uneven, the better.
• Sleep as little as possible. Dark circles are a badge of honour.
• Pick at your face. Never moisturize.
• Live off sugar, seed oils and energy drinks — maximum breakouts guaranteed.
• Salt-binge nightly.
• Drink nothing but soda & beer.
• Never exercise; stay sedentary to achieve the “gelatin aesthetic.”
• Slouch constantly.
• Hunch forward at all times.
• Walk on the edges of your feet to look off-balance.
• Only wear stretched-out, stained clothes.
• Pick colours that clash with your undertone.
• Oversized in the wrong places, skin-tight in the wrong places.
• Over-pluck one eyebrow, leave the other wild.
• Cut your own bangs with kitchen scissors at 3am.
• Never trim facial hair or edges; go for the “feral” look.
• Yo-yo diet constantly.