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I just need to carve a guy's name into me tbh

u talking about social rules?
Yeah, social norms and other little customs that you're just expected to know without anyone telling you and then basically crucified if you don't, like what to do when someone asks the most bullshit question imaginable
 
Yeah, social norms and other little customs that you're just expected to know without anyone telling you and then basically crucified if you don't, like what to do when someone asks the most bullshit question imaginable
Yeah this is absolutely brutal. You're supposed to learn social skills when you are a kid and you have a safety net if you fuck up socially, but if you are an adult, people will drop you the moment they sense you are awkward. But to make social skills you need friends, and you can't make friends as an adult very easily, so you're kinda screwed.

I've had some major fuck ups before because I did not know basic social rules. It makes my blood absolutely fucking boil that I both lost out on friendships and all that fun shit when I was younger and now I'm paying the price for it. Like one knife to the heart is enough, but two???
 
Yeah this is absolutely brutal. You're supposed to learn social skills when you are a kid and you have a safety net if you fuck up socially, but if you are an adult, people will drop you the moment they sense you are awkward. But to make social skills you need friends, and you can't make friends as an adult very easily, so you're kinda screwed.

I've had some major fuck ups before because I did not know basic social rules. It makes my blood absolutely fucking boil that I both lost out on friendships and all that fun shit when I was younger and now I'm paying the price for it. Like one knife to the heart is enough, but two???
Eh, atleast we'll all die one day
 
Eh, atleast we'll all die one day
But that day is very far. You'll just prolong your misery.

If the world has given you a shit hand to play with, why not resist and hope for a better world?
 
But that day is very far. You'll just prolong your misery.

If the world has given you a shit hand to play with, why not resist and hope for a better world?
There is no hope for anything better, with social stuff people won't even tell you why you're insufferable and thye'll just basically tell you to figure it out which is the same as throwing someone who can't swim into a lake and then being surprised when they drown. It only gets worse every year and hatred is the only reason to keep going longterm.
 
But that day is very far. You'll just prolong your misery.

If the world has given you a shit hand to play with, why not resist and hope for a better world?
Also even if they do give pointers, you'll likely be too weak and undisciplined to even make anything of it so its all a waste of time if thats the hand you get dealt.
 
There is no hope for anything better, with social stuff people won't even tell you why you're insufferable and thye'll just basically tell you to figure it out which is the same as throwing someone who can't swim into a lake and then being surprised when they drown. It only gets worse every year and hatred is the only reason to keep going longterm.
If you truly believe there is no hope, why have you not killed yourself yet?

I had this mindset before (and I still sorta do). What kept me here was that small hope that maybe 5-6 years from now, my life wouldn't be so bad. I'd have a partner and friends. But I kept on wallowing in my misery and had made it a core part of my identity.

Then I realized there is no point in prolonging my suffering. I'd either need to kill myself or go into full throttle getting my life back together.

The world isn't fair. Yes, you never got a chance to develop social skills or make friends. Yes, people are unhelpful and will tell you to figure it out on your own. The world did you wrong, all that painful shit happened to you, and you have a right to grieve over it. Give yourself time to heal.

But then towards the future. You still have a long life ahead of you, and that life can be filled with joy. Why not go full throttle into making that joy real with as much effort as you can?
 
Also even if they do give pointers, you'll likely be too weak and undisciplined to even make anything of it so its all a waste of time if thats the hand you get dealt.
You don't need to fix your life in one day. You need to make small steps. Your life tomorrow just has to be a little bit better than today.
 
If you truly believe there is no hope, why have you not killed yourself yet?

I had this mindset before (and I still sorta do). What kept me here was that small hope that maybe 5-6 years from now, my life wouldn't be so bad. I'd have a partner and friends. But I kept on wallowing in my misery and had made it a core part of my identity.

Then I realized there is no point in prolonging my suffering. I'd either need to kill myself or go into full throttle getting my life back together.

The world isn't fair. Yes, you never got a chance to develop social skills or make friends. Yes, people are unhelpful and will tell you to figure it out on your own. The world did you wrong, all that painful shit happened to you, and you have a right to grieve over it. Give yourself time to heal.

But then towards the future. You still have a long life ahead of you, and that life can be filled with joy. Why not go full throttle into making that joy real with as much effort as you can?
I am kept alive mostly by my fear of pain, thats literally it
 
I am kept alive mostly by my fear of pain, thats literally it
Survival instinct and fear of death sucks. I fucking hated it myself too. The exit to my suffering was right there but I couldn't do it. But what will you do when it inevitably gets too tiring to keep living like this? You won't be able to take the easy way out.
 

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