Paranoid Android
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- Mar 2, 2026
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Hi, My age is 18 yo and I'm from Argentina, so the English you'll probably read here is pretty bad and not natural at all.
I know I shouldn't talk about these things in a forum like this, but I just wanted to talk about what was happening to me.
I am in this forum mainly because I recognize the importance that should be given to physical appearance and a good mental health, but I I certainly have a lot of problems, not in terms of physical appearance, but in terms of social relationships. What I'm getting at is that there were a couple of girls in high school who were interested in me (some considered quite attractive). They used to talk to me quite a bit, greeting me at school, always smiling, and some even tried to make the first move. But as I said, my lack of social skills makes it seem like I'm rejecting them because I'm not good at opening up to people emotionally. So, even though they tried to get closer to me, they always ended up leaving because of a lack of reciprocity. Now that I'm 18, it's not like I regret it or anything. Honestly, I feel relieved because I didn't really have a chance of handling a romantic relationship properly, and those girls, from what I understand, are totally promiscuous now.
Despite my social ineptitude, I managed to get by in high school through a social actor, who wasn't really me, it was a version I pretended to fit in. The thing is, after spending time pretending to be someone you're not, you realize that this persona gradually consumes and merges with your true self. Sometimes I say things I would never say if I were myself without that mask I wear. After finishing high school, I slowly began to distance myself from my entire group of friends, because all my relationships were based on lies I created and maintained for a while.
During this time after finishing high school, I began preparing for university entrance exams and passed them with scores of 9/10 (the grading system in Argentina and most Latin American countries). Based on how I felt, I didn't find it very difficult to interact with the other students in the university entrance course; in fact, they seemed willing to engage and readily laughed at my jokes.
Although the main problem isn't that I want a partner, it's that I really don't understand what's going on with my mind. Ever since I was a child, I've had trouble interacting with others. My elementary school teachers were constantly calling my parents because I was quiet, didn't fit in, and spoke too softly. I had to see educational psychologists throughout my childhood because of this, and I never received a formal diagnosis. There's something I often relate to, and it's a situation that happened when I was about five years old in kindergarten. One of the teachers practically forced me to go to the bathroom and urinate when I didn't need to; so I had to pull down my pants in front of her (yes, she was in the bathroom with me). As a child, I didn't fully understand the situation, but it might have been because of the shame I felt that I was so withdrawn in elementary school and forced to pretend in high school.
I know I shouldn't talk about these things in a forum like this, but I just wanted to talk about what was happening to me.
I am in this forum mainly because I recognize the importance that should be given to physical appearance and a good mental health, but I I certainly have a lot of problems, not in terms of physical appearance, but in terms of social relationships. What I'm getting at is that there were a couple of girls in high school who were interested in me (some considered quite attractive). They used to talk to me quite a bit, greeting me at school, always smiling, and some even tried to make the first move. But as I said, my lack of social skills makes it seem like I'm rejecting them because I'm not good at opening up to people emotionally. So, even though they tried to get closer to me, they always ended up leaving because of a lack of reciprocity. Now that I'm 18, it's not like I regret it or anything. Honestly, I feel relieved because I didn't really have a chance of handling a romantic relationship properly, and those girls, from what I understand, are totally promiscuous now.
Despite my social ineptitude, I managed to get by in high school through a social actor, who wasn't really me, it was a version I pretended to fit in. The thing is, after spending time pretending to be someone you're not, you realize that this persona gradually consumes and merges with your true self. Sometimes I say things I would never say if I were myself without that mask I wear. After finishing high school, I slowly began to distance myself from my entire group of friends, because all my relationships were based on lies I created and maintained for a while.
During this time after finishing high school, I began preparing for university entrance exams and passed them with scores of 9/10 (the grading system in Argentina and most Latin American countries). Based on how I felt, I didn't find it very difficult to interact with the other students in the university entrance course; in fact, they seemed willing to engage and readily laughed at my jokes.
Although the main problem isn't that I want a partner, it's that I really don't understand what's going on with my mind. Ever since I was a child, I've had trouble interacting with others. My elementary school teachers were constantly calling my parents because I was quiet, didn't fit in, and spoke too softly. I had to see educational psychologists throughout my childhood because of this, and I never received a formal diagnosis. There's something I often relate to, and it's a situation that happened when I was about five years old in kindergarten. One of the teachers practically forced me to go to the bathroom and urinate when I didn't need to; so I had to pull down my pants in front of her (yes, she was in the bathroom with me). As a child, I didn't fully understand the situation, but it might have been because of the shame I felt that I was so withdrawn in elementary school and forced to pretend in high school.
