I really need to get rid of my incel mentality.

[Chifuyu]

One of the things I had to unlearn after being an incel was understanding my avoidance towards women didn't have to do with how they actually viewed me, or even really how I viewed them (because deep down I knew I didn't hate women), it had to do with me wanting to avoid being uncomfortable.

What's actually the concern if someone hates me because I'm ugly? Or doesn't treat me how they should because of it? Nothing, I just avoided it because I didn't want someone to be mean to me.

Men were not necessarily nicer to me overall, but they felt familiar. I could understand certain struggles and concepts with them that I just couldn't understand with women. So I was willing to be mistreated by other men, because I wasn't uncomfortable. I was still within my comfort zone.

It's kind of hard to get out of it, and there's not much I can say that will undo 10+ years of this kind of thinking. But trying to analyze what aspects you're trying to comfort yourself over might help. "Oh, I can avoid women and avoid being uncomfortable because they don't want to talk to me anyways" kind of mindset might block you from doing what you need to do.

OK, I'm done. Anyway. Uh, where was I... yeah it's extremely hard to get out of it but I don't have a choice. I'm still surprised that you were an incel at all.

 

[Chifuyu]

i dont care how my teacher looks they are literally older than me, if they nice i see them as a guidance figure and trust them

Thanks for weighing in aryy! I'm glad to hear that!

 

[Chifuyu]

You better start socializing with your female coworkers because from what i know, you most likely gonna find your future wife in the teachers room.
It's well known that teachers date each others a lot

You got a point. I had four teachers who were married to each other. But no I wouldn't date any coworkers. I don't even date at all.

 

[Chifuyu]

Just Be Funny

I'm actually funny as fuck from what I hear. My favorite compliment is the one I got back in 2016 when I was studying nursing. I was only there for a month and one of my female classmates told me "You know.. you don't talk much, but when you do, you say the funniest things." But I haven't said anything the students could laugh at so I'm an unfunny bastard to them.

 

[Chifuyu]

just keep conversations with them short for now and try not to crack many jokes. you can gradually have a better relationship with them over time but just work your way up from the bottom

Thanks for the advice! Yeah I don't crack jokes with them at all. I've been there like two months now and I've not done that.

 

[Randomized]

OK, I'm done. Anyway. Uh, where was I... yeah it's extremely hard to get out of it but I don't have a choice. I'm still surprised that you were an incel at all.

Yeah, I was actually on .is and SS before I was on .org or .com (But I was a lurker on those sites). I feel like looksmaxxing helped me get my wife which is why I started becoming active after I got married.

But being an incel was hard, especially counting I was an incel during my teen years. Self sabotaged a lot but it is what it is.

 

[Chifuyu]

Yeah, I was actually on .is and SS before I was on .org or .com (But I was a lurker on those sites). I feel like looksmaxxing helped me get my wife which is why I started becoming active after I got married.

But being an incel was hard, especially counting I was an incel during my teen years. Self sabotaged a lot but it is what it is.

Hooooooly shit what the actual fuck. Are you being serious right now? I'm not being sarcastic, it's coming as a genuine surprise to me! I also think it's incredibly surprising that you credit looksmaxxing to your success. That's so crazy. I wonder if we ever spoke on .is, but we probably didn't.

 

[Chifuyu]

Yeah, I was actually on .is and SS before I was on .org or .com (But I was a lurker on those sites). I feel like looksmaxxing helped me get my wife which is why I started becoming active after I got married.

But being an incel was hard, especially counting I was an incel during my teen years. Self sabotaged a lot but it is what it is.

And yeah, I can relate with the self sabotaging. There was a girl who seemed to give me a shot and I completely blew it because I was so convinced I'm too ugly for anyone that I ended up cucking myself.

 

[Randomized]

Hooooooly shit what the actual fuck. Are you being serious right now? I'm not being sarcastic, it's coming as a genuine surprise to me! I also think it's incredibly surprising that you credit looksmaxxing to your success. That's so crazy. I wonder if we ever spoke on .is, but we probably didn't.

Yes, 100% serious. I think it's one of the reasons why I want to looksmax and still have an interest in the community even after "ascending" is because it was such a big part of my life. I was apart of the Subreddits before they got taken down from Reddit, and then I was nervous to signup to .is (I think it went by a different domain at the time) because it was new at the time. After a while I ended up signing up to .is after I saw they stabilized for a while. I had an older account I lost access to, but it's where the username "Randomized Shame" comes from, the account still probably exists (Randomized Shame I mean) but I didn't post on that account so there's nothing interesting on it. I was just using it to browse some more.

 

[Chifuyu]

Yes, 100% serious. I think it's one of the reasons why I want to looksmax and still have an interest in the community even after "ascending" is because it was such a big part of my life. I was apart of the Subreddits before they got taken down from Reddit, and then I was nervous to signup to .is (I think it went by a different domain at the time) because it was new at the time. After a while I ended up signing up to .is after I saw they stabilized for a while. I had an older account I lost access to, but it's where the username "Randomized Shame" comes from, the account still probably exists (Randomized Shame I mean) but I didn't post on that account so there's nothing interesting on it. I was just using it to browse some more.

Holy shit, so you were active on r/incels as well? I was posting there for a few months before it got nuked. Man, I didn't really know about all this. In relation to you, that is. It's just soooo surprising. I'm glad you ascended!

 

[muscipla]

crazy archive thread yo, bookmarked

 

[Chifuyu]

crazy archive thread yo, bookmarked

What does this even mean

 

[muscipla]

What does this even mean

yk i dont see rando talk abt his past every day

 

[Randomized]

Holy shit, so you were active on r/incels as well? I was posting there for a few months before it got nuked. Man, I didn't really know about all this. In relation to you, that is. It's just soooo surprising. I'm glad you ascended!

I've spoken a lot about it so I'm surprised you didn't know, but I guess you keep to your own threads recently. You used to post a lot in general but I can tell it's been more contained recently.

I've also spoken about how I've been a shitty person in the past, and it was mainly related to me being an incel. I wasn't very nice to people because I was so isolated and shit.

And yeah, I can relate with the self sabotaging. There was a girl who seemed to give me a shot and I completely blew it because I was so convinced I'm too ugly for anyone that I ended up cucking myself.

Pretty normal for teens to do but it's worst when you're a teen who thinks you're so ugly that you should kill yourself, sadly. I felt so bad for women in my life, I remembered posting on SS saying how I felt like I was assaulting people by going out in public and I remembered nobody on there relating to it lmfao.

 

[Chifuyu]

I've spoken a lot about it so I'm surprised you didn't know, but I guess you keep to your own threads recently. You used to post a lot in general but I can tell it's been more contained recently.

I've also spoken about how I've been a shitty person in the past, and it was mainly related to me being an incel. I wasn't very nice to people because I was so isolated and shit.


Pretty normal for teens to do but it's worst when you're a teen who thinks you're so ugly that you should kill yourself, sadly. I felt so bad for women in my life, I remembered posting on SS saying how I felt like I was assaulting people by going out in public and I remembered nobody on there relating to it lmfao.

Yeah, that's true. I've kind of been disinterested in forums because of university and all that jazz. Yeah, I vaguely recall you talking about your past but I didn't know you were referring to your incel period. And yeah, I actually do relate to what you say in the final paragraph because I also felt that way for a very long time but now that I'm older I realize how dumb that was and it just proves that the brain doesn't fully develop until you're in your midtwenties or something.

 

[Randomized]

Yeah, that's true. I've kind of been disinterested in forums because of university and all that jazz. Yeah, I vaguely recall you talking about your past but I didn't know you were referring to your incel period. And yeah, I actually do relate to what you say in the final paragraph because I also felt that way for a very long time but now that I'm older I realize how dumb that was and it just proves that the brain doesn't fully develop until you're in your midtwenties or something.

A lot of people make the argument that "pure love" happens in your teens because you're less jaded from being an adult, but that shit is so the opposite to me, I was way more mean and jaded as a teen. Weird how that works, people view that stuff differently. But being incel is just finding any reason to hate yourself, and why it's mainly "someone else's" fault as a way to cope mentally. It's why I said I knew deep down I didn't hate women but I just couldn't deal with the fact I could control some aspects of my life.

I was able to maintain a type of innocence with myself, and the outcome being maintaining my beliefs at the expense of logic, while being able to blame an external source. I got to maintain my comfort zone and I could blame people other than me. But it only really worked in a fantasy world, and every time I applied it to anything in the real world it was just humiliating and violating (both to me and some of the people around me).

I "liked" the concept of me being screwed over by a source other than myself, because it meant "my personality wasn't flawed, it could've been perfect and I would've still ended up in that way", which was not the full truth.

Now, unfortunately, I'm actually ugly, unlike a majority of the people on here. So I do think beauty/appearance plays a role in a lot of my opportunities and life, but I do think some people are willing to look past it after a while, like my wife did. Which is what I try to tell the young boys on these sites that looks are important but being a good person is also important, as "bluepilled" as that is to say.

 

[Chifuyu]

A lot of people make the argument that "pure love" happens in your teens because you're less jaded from being an adult, but that shit is so the opposite to me, I was way more mean and jaded as a teen. Weird how that works, people view that stuff differently. But being incel is just finding any reason to hate yourself, and why it's mainly "someone else's" fault as a way to cope mentally. It's why I said I knew deep down I didn't hate women but I just couldn't deal with the fact I could control some aspects of my life.

I was able to maintain a type of innocence with myself, and the outcome being maintaining my beliefs at the expense of logic, while being able to blame an external source. I got to maintain my comfort zone and I could blame people other than me. But it only really worked in a fantasy world, and every time I applied it to anything in the real world it was just humiliating and violating (both to me and some of the people around me).

I "liked" the concept of me being screwed over by a source other than myself, because it meant "my personality wasn't flawed, it could've been perfect and I would've still ended up in that way", which was not the full truth.

Now, unfortunately, I'm actually ugly, unlike a majority of the people on here. So I do think beauty/appearance plays a role in a lot of my opportunities and life, but I do think some people are willing to look past it after a while, like my wife did. Which is what I try to tell the young boys on these sites that looks are important but being a good person is also important, as "bluepilled" as that is to say.

Fuaaark I apologize bhaijaan but I'm tired after a long day so I'll reply to this after I wake up.