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Will: Yeah, I went on a date last week.
Sean: How'd it go?
Will: It was good.
Sean: Going out again?
Will: I don't know.
Sean: Why not?
Will: Haven't called her.
Sean: Christ, you're an amateur.
Will: I know what I'm doing.
Sean: Yeah.
Will: Yeah. Don't worry about me. I know what I'm doin'. Yeah, butthis girl is like, you know, beautiful. She's smart. She's funny. She'sdifferent from most of the other girls I've been with.
Sean: So, call her up, Romeo.
Will: Why? So I can realize she's not that smart, that she's fuckin' boring? Y'know--I mean...this girl is like fuckin' perfect rightnow, I don't wanna ruin that.
Sean: Maybe you're perfect right now. Maybe you don't want toruin that. I think that's a super philosophy, Will. That way you cango through your entire life without ever having to really knowanybody.
My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderfulidiosyncrasies. You know what? She used to fart in her sleep. Sorry Ishared that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up.She woke up and gone like "oh was that you?" I'd say yeah...I didn't havethe heart to tell her...Oh God...[laughing]
Will: She woke herself up?
Sean: Yesssss. Oh Christ....aahhh, but, Will, she's been dead twoyears and that's the shit I remember. Wonderful stuff, you know, littlethings like that. Ah, but, those are the things I miss the most. Thelittle idiosyncrasies that only I knewabout. That's what made her my wife. Oh, and she had the goods on me, too,she knew all my little peccadillos. People call these thingsimperfections, but they're not, aw, that's the good stuff. And then weget to choose who we let in to our weird little worlds. You're notperfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, sheisn't perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you're perfectfor each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about.Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you'refindin' out that one is by givin' it a shot. You certainly won't learnfrom an old fucker like me. Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell a pissant like you.
[Will smiles]
Will: Why not? You told me every other fuckin' thing. JesusChrist. You talk more than any shrink I ever met.
[Sean laughs]Sean: I teach this shit, I didn't say I knew how to do it.
[pause]Will: Yeah......you ever think about gettin' remarried?
Sean: My wife's dead.
Will: Hence, the word remarried.
Sean: My wife's dead.
[pause]Will: Yeah.. Well, I think that's a super philosophy, Sean. I meanthat way you could actually go through the rest of your life without everreally knowing anybody.
[A pause. Sean smiles ironically.]
Sean: Time's up.
Sean: How'd it go?
Will: It was good.
Sean: Going out again?
Will: I don't know.
Sean: Why not?
Will: Haven't called her.
Sean: Christ, you're an amateur.
Will: I know what I'm doing.
Sean: Yeah.
Will: Yeah. Don't worry about me. I know what I'm doin'. Yeah, butthis girl is like, you know, beautiful. She's smart. She's funny. She'sdifferent from most of the other girls I've been with.
Sean: So, call her up, Romeo.
Will: Why? So I can realize she's not that smart, that she's fuckin' boring? Y'know--I mean...this girl is like fuckin' perfect rightnow, I don't wanna ruin that.
Sean: Maybe you're perfect right now. Maybe you don't want toruin that. I think that's a super philosophy, Will. That way you cango through your entire life without ever having to really knowanybody.
My wife used to fart when she was nervous. She had all sorts of wonderfulidiosyncrasies. You know what? She used to fart in her sleep. Sorry Ishared that with you. One night it was so loud it woke the dog up.She woke up and gone like "oh was that you?" I'd say yeah...I didn't havethe heart to tell her...Oh God...[laughing]
Will: She woke herself up?
Sean: Yesssss. Oh Christ....aahhh, but, Will, she's been dead twoyears and that's the shit I remember. Wonderful stuff, you know, littlethings like that. Ah, but, those are the things I miss the most. Thelittle idiosyncrasies that only I knewabout. That's what made her my wife. Oh, and she had the goods on me, too,she knew all my little peccadillos. People call these thingsimperfections, but they're not, aw, that's the good stuff. And then weget to choose who we let in to our weird little worlds. You're notperfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, sheisn't perfect either. But the question is: whether or not you're perfectfor each other. That's the whole deal. That's what intimacy is all about.Now you can know everything in the world, sport, but the only way you'refindin' out that one is by givin' it a shot. You certainly won't learnfrom an old fucker like me. Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell a pissant like you.
[Will smiles]
Will: Why not? You told me every other fuckin' thing. JesusChrist. You talk more than any shrink I ever met.
[Sean laughs]Sean: I teach this shit, I didn't say I knew how to do it.
[pause]Will: Yeah......you ever think about gettin' remarried?
Sean: My wife's dead.
Will: Hence, the word remarried.
Sean: My wife's dead.
[pause]Will: Yeah.. Well, I think that's a super philosophy, Sean. I meanthat way you could actually go through the rest of your life without everreally knowing anybody.
[A pause. Sean smiles ironically.]
Sean: Time's up.
