Unless you want to avoid the truth you're gonna have to say some bad things about some people, because some people are bad. Some people are stupid, and when the stakes are high you've got to publicly label them as such. It's not always gonna be pretty either. It seems to me that one of the most evil, amoral things a person can do is avoid truth in favor of pleasantries.
You just falsely believe Trump is hateful because of the way he says some things and you don't like it. There are much more important things at play than making things palatable for everyone. People don't have the time or energy for that. Reality itself is non negotiable and, playing devil's advocate here, even if Mr. Trump spread a hateful sentiment with some of the things he says it would to be extremely foolish to focus on that as the main issue/driving force for who you're going to vote for. Women's proclivity to be hyper focused on the way a person says things or how they come off is a definite advantage in some areas of life, but it has always been a huge disadvantage when it comes to making long term decisions about things like this. It's the main reason why they shouldn't vote or be given too much power.