I want affection

[junebug]

Dude

I'm serious
I don't want affection from someone I barely know, it has to be someone I know decently enough
but even then, I'm paranoid they'll use my vulnerability to make fun of me or blackmail me later. or maybe they love someone else more than me and I'm just a substitute/

 

[JDD8]

Is that ishowspeed

 

[lowtiersubhuman]

I'm serious
I don't want affection from someone I barely know, it has to be someone I know decently enough
but even then, I'm paranoid they'll use my vulnerability to make fun of me or blackmail me later. or maybe they love someone else more than me and I'm just a substitute/

Well if you out effort in ig
Ig you could say the same for me
But this girl is obviously just bored or some shit
Shes also texting less and less
#shegotanewguyforsure

 

[junebug]

Well if you out effort in ig
Ig you could say the same for me
But this girl is obviously just bored or some shit
Shes also texting less and less
#shegotanewguyforsure

thread of pain and suffering

 

[Lost Ferry CEO]

Not helping I'm still lonely

everyone's lonely, wallowing in your woe-is-me mentality will do nothing apart than getting validation and attention from people online. Use that alone time to get into your passions and grow.

 

[junebug]

everyone's lonely, wallowing in your woe-is-me mentality will do nothing apart than getting validation and attention from people online. Use that alone time to get into your passions and grow.

or I coul djust send you reels

 

[Lost Ferry CEO]

or I coul djust send you reels

please dont, watch or listen to something and write about it

 

[yourfavlltb]

talk to me gng imma try and be a psychologist when I get to college

 

[2beau]

I want affection

Its junebug mating season

 

[junebug]

Its junebug mating season

I don't want to mate I just want to cuddle something other than a pillow

 

[rand anon]

Y not just find u a guy from one ur classes, ur a stem major and like smarty pants anyways

 

[junebug]

Y not just find u a guy from one ur classes, ur a stem major and like smarty pants anyways

I'm serious
I don't want affection from someone I barely know, it has to be someone I know decently enough
but even then, I'm paranoid they'll use my vulnerability to make fun of me or blackmail me later. or maybe they love someone else more than me and I'm just a substitute/

 

[negative]

I'm paranoid they'll use my vulnerability to make fun of me or blackmail me later. or maybe they love someone else more than me and I'm just a substitute/

Damn I'm sorry,.sounds like you have a lot of trauma

 

[junebug]

Damn I'm sorry,.sounds like you have a lot of trauma

Just that one dork of a guy that would consistently break my trust

That's on me for being stupid though

 

[negative]

Its junebug mating season

 

[rand anon]

I'm serious
I don't want affection from someone I barely know, it has to be someone I know decently enough
but even then, I'm paranoid they'll use my vulnerability to make fun of me or blackmail me later. or maybe they love someone else more than me and I'm just a substitute/

that’s what a first date is for though. If it seems too high stakes, u could just try sitting next to a guy who’s ur type in class or whatever and initiate a convo about class stuff, eventually diverting the topic to something else. If u keep doing that every class, he’ll prob get the hint and ask u out. By that time, you’ll be more used to his presence and won’t feel as uncomfortable if he does

 

[Jtrain10]

I want affection

Tell me about it pal

 

[junebug]

that’s what a first date is for though. If it seems too high stakes, u could just try sitting next to a guy who’s ur type in class or whatever and initiate a convo about class stuff, eventually diverting the topic to something else. If u keep doing that every class, he’ll prob get the hint and ask u out. By that time, you’ll be more used to his presence and won’t feel as uncomfortable if he does

I did that a few times and it ended so horribly, they all essentially called me annoying

If it happens again I might die

 

[Deleted Member 137304]

everyone's lonely, wallowing in your woe-is-me mentality will do nothing apart than getting validation and attention from people online. Use that alone time to get into your passions and grow.

n***a stole my line.

that’s what a first date is for though. If it seems too high stakes, u could just try sitting next to a guy who’s ur type in class or whatever and initiate a convo about class stuff, eventually diverting the topic to something else. If u keep doing that every class, he’ll prob get the hint and ask u out. By that time, you’ll be more used to his presence and won’t feel as uncomfortable if he does

Be comfortable with being alone first, then allow other people into your life.

Constantly chasing that high of being wanted only platforms situations where people abuse your addiction.

 

[TFC]

I want affection

I do too, but we are to ugly for it. So I must wait for my lived experiences to add to my self value. So when someone looks at me they see my life and not my facial primal health markers.

But it is a lie. Waiting will not change the odds for someone who is unwanted.

I doubt your want for attention stems from the same place as mine. But we both share a want.

 

[Deleted Member 137304]

I did that a few times and it ended so horribly, they all essentially called me annoying

If it happens again I might die

Talk about this more please.

 

[junebug]

Talk about this more please.

I tried talking with guys from classes I found cute, but they'd always treat me like some creature or like a child. I didn't even know what I was doing so wrong.

 

[negative]

I tried talking with guys from classes I found cute, but they'd always treat me like some creature or like a child. I didn't even know what I was doing so wrong.

Thats odd

 

[negative]

they all essentially called me annoying

Actually?

 

[junebug]

Actually?

Yes
I would hear it later from other people
"He doesn't know why you're talking to him"
"He thinks you're annoying"

Ugh

 

[Deleted Member 137304]

I do too, but we are to ugly for it. So I must wait for my lived experiences to add to my self value. So when someone looks at me they see my life and not my facial primal health markers.

But it is a lie. Waiting will not change the odds for someone who is unwanted.

I doubt your want for attention stems from the same place as mine. But we both share a want.

Frankly, death with that mindset.

The only way I would want to talk to someone, is if they would add value to my life - just as anyone would ignore some self-deprecating person with nothing going for them except for loathing and tribulations they can wallow on about.

Be easier to talk too, and act interested in other peoples hobbies without being overbearing.

 

[rand anon]

I did that a few times and it ended so horribly, they all essentially called me annoying

If it happens again I might die

In high school or college

 

[junebug]

In high school or college

Highschool

 

[TFC]

Frankly, death with that mindset.

The only way I would want to talk to someone, is if they would add value to my life - just as anyone would ignore some self-deprecating person with nothing going for them except for loathing and tribulations they can wallow on about.

Be easier to talk too, and act interested in other peoples hobbies without being overbearing.

I don’t need advice, I have a full busy healthy social life. Plenty of friends, weekly events, things to do, I am active and can hold a conversation. I make girls laugh… it just doesn’t matter when it comes to getting a relationship. It’s not self deprecation, it’s the honesty reality of the male experience.

 

[Deleted Member 137304]

Yes
I would hear it later from other people
"He doesn't know why you're talking to him"
"He thinks you're annoying"

Ugh

If I don't catch a vibe from a girl I'm trying to talk to, I just remove myself from that position.

Obviously confidence and social nuance can't be taught, but to provide yourself with the best opportunity to learn - remove yourself from people that don't want to spare a small portion of their day talking with you.

 

[negative]

Yes
I would hear it later from other people
"He doesn't know why you're talking to him"
"He thinks you're annoying"

Ugh

Im sorry

 

[rand anon]

Be comfortable with being alone first, then allow other people into your life.

Constantly chasing that high of being wanted only platforms situations where people abuse your addiction.

no one can ever truly be 100% comfortable alone, unless ur asexual or ur brain is wired differently compared to the norm

We’re social creatures

 

[rand anon]

Highschool

Guys are usually more mature in college, they likely won’t react that way. But yeah it’s prob scary if it’s happened to u before. U could try ur luck with juniors and seniors if ur scared of that, they’ll def be more understanding

 

[Deleted Member 137304]

I don’t need advice, I have a full busy healthy social life. Plenty of friends, weekly events, things to do, I am active and can hold a conversation. I make girls laugh… it just doesn’t matter when it comes to getting a relationship. It’s not self deprecation, it’s the honesty reality of the male experience.

I'm not a funny guy, I take girls home.

I used to be funny, because I wouldn't take myself seriously - and I portrayed my entire identity as a joke. I sympathize with everything you've said - from a younger me, but I frankly beg to differ with how the results turn out.

Id rather a girl ask to come over, then have ten laugh at a shitty joke. I don't want to ever "find" a girl again in my life, I think all people will leave, cheat and fuck you over provided the opportunity.

I want to develop myself into the most optimal, self-sufficient machine possible - such that its in someone else's best interest to want to spend their life with me. Because it benefits them, for all the good I offer, for the status I suggest and for how good I look.

I don't want a relationship's purpose to be pawned off to some imaginary reason, I want her to want me - for the things I provide.

 

[Deleted Member 137304]

no one can ever truly be 100% comfortable alone, unless ur asexual or ur brain is wired differently compared to the norm

We’re social creatures

A common thing I experience, and see with people that are similar to me - is this feeling of only existing when others are watching. Attention starved people become less human, because they rid all of the urgency to save face of their "character" - how independent they are - to offer a more appealing/sympathetic outlook to potential friends.

If the reason you put one foot in-front of the other is for any other person besides you, you're no longer a human - you're just a slave to someone else's attention.

I needed to spend a few months alone before I felt comfortable that I was making decisions that satisfied myself - instead of others.

 

[TFC]

I'm not a funny guy, I take girls home.

I used to be funny, because I wouldn't take myself seriously - and I portrayed my entire identity as a joke. I sympathize with everything you've said - from a younger me, but I frankly beg to differ with how the results turn out.

Id rather a girl ask to come over, then have ten laugh at a shitty joke. I don't want to ever "find" a girl again in my life, I think all people will leave, cheat and fuck you over provided the opportunity.

I want to develop myself into the most optimal, self-sufficient machine possible - such that its in someone else's best interest to want to spend their life with me. Because it benefits them, for all the good I offer, for the status I suggest and for how good I look.

I don't want a relationship's purpose to be pawned off to some imaginary reason, I want her to want me - for the things I provide.

Then when you stop becoming valuable you will not have someone to fall back on. Just f your expectation is you provide enough value to be loved, then when you don’t provide enough (which you never will) you wont be loved.

Your life will never be good enough to have someone love you even when your life isn’t so good. In fact, it’s the opposite.

 

[Deleted Member 137304]

Then when you stop becoming valuable you will not have someone to fall back on. Just f your expectation is you provide enough value to be loved, then when you don’t provide enough (which you never will) you wont be loved.

Your life will never be good enough to have someone love you even when your life isn’t so good. In fact, it’s the opposite.

You've completely abolished all agency in yourself to make decisions. Regardless who is correct, I would like to believe its in my best interest to continue to further myself in life - because ultimately it might have some adverse benefits, as seen in something like a partner.

 

[rand anon]

A common thing I experience, and see with people that are similar to me - is this feeling of only existing when others are watching. Attention starved people become less human, because they rid all of the urgency to save face of their "character" - how independent they are - to offer a more appealing/sympathetic outlook to potential friends.

If the reason you put one foot in-front of the other is for any other person besides you, you're no longer a human - you're just a slave to someone else's attention.

I needed to spend a few months alone before I felt comfortable that I was making decisions that satisfied myself - instead of others.

I see, but just because ur attention starved doesn’t mean ur a slave to someone else’s attention. There’s different levels to it. Ofc someone who’s suffering that severely should learn to spend time alone with themselves

But some of us have learned to spend time alone for years, doesn’t rly make it any better

 

[Deleted Member 137304]

I see, but just because ur attention starved doesn’t mean ur a slave to someone else’s attention. There’s different levels to it. Ofc someone who’s suffering that severely should learn to spend time alone with themselves

But some of us have learned to spend time alone for years, doesn’t rly make it any better

Frankly I agree with you, but the amount of time I've spent living alone is limited - and I'm already reaping some of the consequences of isolation. It got to a point I was physically hungry to talk to someone else.

But historically, going out and having a successful day has made it easier to cope - of each occurrence of a good day.

 

[TFC]

You've completely abolished all agency in yourself to make decisions. Regardless who is correct, I would like to believe it’s in my best interest to continue to further myself in life - because ultimately it might have some adverse benefits, as seen in something like a partner.

I have found “effort” and “how hard I try” has no or even negative correlation with getting a relationship.

 

[rand anon]

Frankly I agree with you, but the amount of time I've spent living alone is limited - and I'm already reaping some of the consequences of isolation. It got to a point I was physically hungry to talk to someone else.

But historically, going out and having a successful day has made it easier to cope - of each occurrence of a good day.

What do u mean by a successful day

 

[rand anon]

I have found “effort” and “how hard I try” has no or even negative correlation with getting a relationship.

The luckpill is everything

 

[Deleted Member 137304]

I have found “effort” and “how hard I try” has no or even negative correlation with getting a relationship.

Effort and where you apply effort are equally important. I found for the large majority of my life where I was extremely neurodivergent, areas where I applied effort were completely useless and saw no improvement in my life in terms of socializing and relationships.

The first step I took to bettering myself in all social situations was being aware of how much influence I have over my decisions and future decisions.

For instance, instead of conversing for sake of expressing my mind, I would initiate meaningless conversations with strangers for sake of having a positive outlook to better my long-term skills of maintaining relationships and conversations.

 

[Deleted Member 137304]

What do u mean by a successful day

For me, a successful day is one where I action like a normal person. I wake up, perform my minimum duties, and all conversations and social situations I'm in have been ideal, controlled, and had my output matched by those in my conversations.

I find now that the conversations I have with people aren't simply them replying to me, but rather a mutual exchange.

 

[rand anon]

For me, a successful day is one where I action like a normal person. I wake up, perform my minimum duties, and all conversations and social situations I'm in have been ideal, controlled, and had my output matched by those in my conversations.

I find now that the conversations I have with people aren't simply them replying to me, but rather a mutual exchange.

I see

I hve those days but they still don’t rly help me cope, well ig they do in the sense that I haven’t tried to off myself or anything. But they hven’t rly changed my baseline

 

[Deleted Member 137304]

I see

I hve those days but they still don’t rly help me cope, well ig they do in the sense that I haven’t tried to off myself or anything. But they hven’t rly changed my baseline

I went through periods where I would not communicate with words for days at a time to now being extremely social and capable of initiating conversation with complete strangers.

If I have a baseline I want to achieve, I simply create it and act on it at every opportunity provided to me until I then fulfill it.

 

[rand anon]

I went through periods where I would not communicate with words for days at a time to now being extremely social and capable of initiating conversation with complete strangers.

If I have a baseline I want to achieve, I simply create it and act on it at every opportunity provided to me until I then fulfill it.

Mirin maynnn

 

[Deleted Member 137304]

Mirin maynnn

Presh the conversation though.

I'm extremely passionate about people improving their social life, because my improvement was night and day - however I've slightly regressed due to changes in my lifestyle.

 

[rand anon]

Presh the conversation though.

I'm extremely passionate about people improving their social life, because my improvement was night and day - however I've slightly regressed due to changes in my lifestyle.

How though, with who? It’s hard to form a social circle after school

 

[TFC]

Effort and where you apply effort are equally important. I found for the large majority of my life where I was extremely neurodivergent, areas where I applied effort were completely useless and saw no improvement in my life in terms of socializing and relationships.

The first step I took to bettering myself in all social situations was being aware of how much influence I have over my decisions and future decisions.

For instance, instead of conversing for sake of expressing my mind, I would initiate meaningless conversations with strangers for sake of having a positive outlook to better my long-term skills of maintaining relationships and conversations.

Sounds like more work to have still no results. A conversation that doesn’t need to be had will lead nowhere and will enviably end in head nods as you pass in the hall.

Effort has no correlation with romantic success.