Or any leg up in the game, I'm not like those guys who become athletes and get all the babes, I'm a genetic failure. I have to try hard to get half close to a lot of guys. I cry sometimes at night, about this. And I believe usually nothing ever happens, but I'll still try to do something because the only things I have Is an okay intellect and will power, I may be running out of will power but I still have enough to keep me going a bit longer