I’ve never really had friends, mostly people who claimed it but in reality they’d shame me for my weight and looks, so hopped on Reta, ive slimmed down quite a bit, recently moved and gained a couple friends although was hard.
It’s been more than a decade since ive properly had people who accepted me, but before that I was always wondering, what if I just ended it, I mean even right now I’m just miserable and anxious, empathetic even to people who’d psychologically torment me on a day to day basis, always considered just walking in the middle of the road in the off chance I get hit, death is calm, i won’t have to experience the treacherous things that happen to me on a daily basis, won’t have to put up with my entire surroundings looking at me like human waste, even being diagnosed with a critical disease my parents still say “we wished it could’ve been worse”, idk why but I still love them, if only I had not been born, then everything that could have happened, just wouldnt.
It’s been more than a decade since ive properly had people who accepted me, but before that I was always wondering, what if I just ended it, I mean even right now I’m just miserable and anxious, empathetic even to people who’d psychologically torment me on a day to day basis, always considered just walking in the middle of the road in the off chance I get hit, death is calm, i won’t have to experience the treacherous things that happen to me on a daily basis, won’t have to put up with my entire surroundings looking at me like human waste, even being diagnosed with a critical disease my parents still say “we wished it could’ve been worse”, idk why but I still love them, if only I had not been born, then everything that could have happened, just wouldnt.