Yeah, after my ascension, when I started fucking foids & hanging out w them + their friends, I vividly remember times when we'd all be at the bars or beach or wherever spot together, a lot of the times I would be the only guy.
The fucking conversations they'd be having and EVEN ASKING ME STUFF would legit be so unbelievably blackpilling. This was like years after leaving PSL too. I legit would be constantly bombarded with blackpills so all of this was fresh in my brain even after 5+ years of being off forums.
Being shown the shit in the girl's groupchats too was even fucking worse. However, nothing tops the brutality of when I'd witness their behavior IRL with said guys afterwards. Being fully in on each and every aspect of what went on with these women would've driven me to ropemaxxing if I hadn't already been ascended by then. I was so fucking blackpilled when I was incel but reality was in fact somehow even worse than I thought, and I had myself convinced at one point that I was just mentally ill. LOL. Thankfully I coped well enough with that to leave PSL and focus on NTmaxxing and ascending.
It is incredibly difficult to build a real connection with a foid nowadays. Every single time one is showing interest in me, even if my ego feels good, or I'm horny, or they're being nice & complimenting me genuinely, my soul feels nothing but emptiness inside. Just knowing that there exists a version of me underneath all of the roids and autistic Looksmaxxing for years and years and years that would've been nothing but a side glance, giggles, laughs, and god awful things said behind my back.