I think Im just giving up on the fact that everyone else is better than me in anything and even if i wanted to get better I'll never get better cause I don't even have the motivation to get up and look at myself in the mirror or even waking up I'm not improving in stuff I like I'm not getting any better physically or mentally and I could fix it I'm just doing all of this to myself and I'm even more retarded that I just talk about it on the internet because I can't get actual help, everyone is so disappointed in me and I don't even know where to get myself back up I keep comparing and I feel like that's probably slowing me down too but gosh I don't even know if I can meet peoples expectives or whatever and whatevr