Dyhexic
Member
- Joined
- May 21, 2026
- Messages
- 21
- Time Online
- 4h 36m
- Reputation
- 50
For starters, I have ADHD. I'm not in a bad mental state. I'm not depressed. My life is okay rn, I'm just happy I'm not depressed
But yeah, I'm horrible at showing love, that is primarily to my family
My dad lives in another country, and my parents aren't divorced
It doesn't really bother me, but he does. I've grown up with him, and I'm not really sad, as I know it's what's best
I can often forget, but to call him, and he texts me asking me why I never text him
I can't tell him that even tho i do nothing, I often still forget
And that I don't know what to talk to him about
I feel horrible
When he was living in my country, like last year, every time I got home from school, I was insanely drained
And he tries to interact with me
I love my dad, and I don't have any problems with him
It's just at that time, I'm the most drained.
I also feel like I'm failing as an older. I don't bother
My big little brother also feels like I don't care about him, and more
But at the same time idk what to talk to him about
I sometimes ask him if something happened, and he's upset, but like still
I feel bad when he asks if I want to play, and he asks at the worst time possible
ill say the next day
And then I ask him the next day if he wants to, and then he doesn't
My little brother is 12 years old
When he's very angry or upset, he is hard to deal with, as nothing can convince him
He says things like he doesn't want to live
but ik he doesn't mean it
He doesn't have any mental problems
even tho he says it without meaning it
It still scares me
I'm always scared for his safety
Like, I hear about all these things, and I like the Disney cruise ship
I used to deal with severe anxiety about being kidnapped
Every time I was going to and from school
I was constantly scared of being kidnapped
And even worse, there were a few kidnap attempts it was 2 1 was serious, where a kid was chased, but it was 2 spread over like 5 years
I did boxing and grew up, got a ton of confidence
Now I'm not scared anymore
But now I'm scared for my brother
Every time he is outside with his friends
I'm scared he just won't return
I'm scared that I will fail as a brother to him
My mother isn't that bad because I'm living with her, my brother also, but yeah, she gets angry very fast ig but I've just learnt to deal with it
But, my brother, yeah, can get pretty bad sometimes
Another, I'm is im scared ill never find love
not because my appearance, or anything, I've been rated like mmtn-lhtn, so I'm pretty okay id say
The thing is just im very bad social unless I drink
I think everything is cringe
Also, every time I even tho i know I'm above average looks
Every time I do something, like if I'm drunk and just doing whatever, being loud
The next day, I get embarrassed
not because of what Iof did
But because of how I looked doing it
and knowing if I was cl or smth I wouldn't
and also that I only know 2 girls, I would really be ''corny'' for one, which is a mmtb-hmtb with a type that looks like
mtn+ scandinavian guy that is like 6'2+
The other hm idk she says she is all about personality, but I don't believe it
She is like MTB, we have a lot in common
But even then, I can't talk with her because I'm too scared
And I tried when I was drunk, it just backfired bc i had too much energy
also im scared, like I would need to be htn+ 6 feet+ to even have the confidence to approach someone
Even then, I'm so scared that I end up with someone I don't believe will betray me
I've always had a feeling I would reach great things in my life
I'm scared I'll get a girl who takes advantage of me
Thanks to the few taking the time to read this
Again, I'm not depressed or suicidal. I just need to tell someone about it
But yeah, I'm horrible at showing love, that is primarily to my family
My dad lives in another country, and my parents aren't divorced
It doesn't really bother me, but he does. I've grown up with him, and I'm not really sad, as I know it's what's best
I can often forget, but to call him, and he texts me asking me why I never text him
I can't tell him that even tho i do nothing, I often still forget
And that I don't know what to talk to him about
I feel horrible
When he was living in my country, like last year, every time I got home from school, I was insanely drained
And he tries to interact with me
I love my dad, and I don't have any problems with him
It's just at that time, I'm the most drained.
I also feel like I'm failing as an older. I don't bother
My big little brother also feels like I don't care about him, and more
But at the same time idk what to talk to him about
I sometimes ask him if something happened, and he's upset, but like still
I feel bad when he asks if I want to play, and he asks at the worst time possible
ill say the next day
And then I ask him the next day if he wants to, and then he doesn't
My little brother is 12 years old
When he's very angry or upset, he is hard to deal with, as nothing can convince him
He says things like he doesn't want to live
but ik he doesn't mean it
He doesn't have any mental problems
even tho he says it without meaning it
It still scares me
I'm always scared for his safety
Like, I hear about all these things, and I like the Disney cruise ship
I used to deal with severe anxiety about being kidnapped
Every time I was going to and from school
I was constantly scared of being kidnapped
And even worse, there were a few kidnap attempts it was 2 1 was serious, where a kid was chased, but it was 2 spread over like 5 years
I did boxing and grew up, got a ton of confidence
Now I'm not scared anymore
But now I'm scared for my brother
Every time he is outside with his friends
I'm scared he just won't return
I'm scared that I will fail as a brother to him
My mother isn't that bad because I'm living with her, my brother also, but yeah, she gets angry very fast ig but I've just learnt to deal with it
But, my brother, yeah, can get pretty bad sometimes
Another, I'm is im scared ill never find love
not because my appearance, or anything, I've been rated like mmtn-lhtn, so I'm pretty okay id say
The thing is just im very bad social unless I drink
I think everything is cringe
Also, every time I even tho i know I'm above average looks
Every time I do something, like if I'm drunk and just doing whatever, being loud
The next day, I get embarrassed
not because of what Iof did
But because of how I looked doing it
and knowing if I was cl or smth I wouldn't
and also that I only know 2 girls, I would really be ''corny'' for one, which is a mmtb-hmtb with a type that looks like
mtn+ scandinavian guy that is like 6'2+
The other hm idk she says she is all about personality, but I don't believe it
She is like MTB, we have a lot in common
But even then, I can't talk with her because I'm too scared
And I tried when I was drunk, it just backfired bc i had too much energy
also im scared, like I would need to be htn+ 6 feet+ to even have the confidence to approach someone
Even then, I'm so scared that I end up with someone I don't believe will betray me
I've always had a feeling I would reach great things in my life
I'm scared I'll get a girl who takes advantage of me
Thanks to the few taking the time to read this
Again, I'm not depressed or suicidal. I just need to tell someone about it
