I am compelled to confess that I have been beset by a most peculiar affliction, wherein I find myself voicing inane and inexplicable murmurs whilst slumbering. This is the third occasion wherein I have been abruptly roused and precipitated into a state of semi-consciousness, precipitating a most unfortunate and unseemly spectacle. I am consumed by a profound sense of ire and loathing towards my acquaintances, and, in fact, towards all aspects of existence.
In the month of January, I was perturbed to discover that I had been caught whispering incoherently and engaging in heated colloquy with a personage of some note from this looksmaxxing forum. Alas, it seems that I have once again fallen prey to this capricious affliction, and was again caught in flagrante by a personage from the aforementioned domain. I am, of course, utterly aghast by this turn of events, and am now rendered the subject of scorn and ridicule by virtue of my compatriots' frivolous and careless haughtiness, denoted by their recourse to the crass and colloquial abbreviations "#LMAO" and "#fairs".