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- Jun 29, 2025
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All my life, I have never even felt remotely human. I look at other people and wish I could be in their shoes, just for five minutes. To switch bodies with them and run around living, not merely existing. But I always snap out of it when I think about what they would feel after switching bodies with me. They would want to die if they were me. Even I do.I vividly remember crying to God as a little girl, begging Him to fix me. I would sometimes wonder, why me? Why would He bring such an ungodly creature into this world? What is the benefit of me being here? I think God has cursed me to be in this body. It makes me feel claustrophobic and trapped when I look in the mirror and realize this is who I really am.
Nothing is fair. I feel like a male trying to be a female. I feel like an alien trying to be human. I do all kinds of things just to feel; argue, insult others,but inside I am numb. I am a pair of eyes and a brain. The rest does not matter.I look at the evils of this world and how beautifully God has made them, but a pure, unknowing being was cursed to suffer. To look like a beast. To be given a weak heart.Oh, how I yearn to be loved. Fucked. r***d. Just something. Something to feel. Who am I kidding? Looksmaxxing is a cope, and when it gets to the point where I have to seek medical help to be fixed, it is pointless. I am tainted. I am disgusting.And it is all Your fault, God. Why? Why? Why? Why? I cannot even say anything to You because I still fear You, but I certainly do not love You.
Omg this jew can singgggg i love those ashkinazi's or whatever more pure: