is that attachment style shit real

[rilkeanheart]

like that avoidant and anxious and secure, etc stuff? can things really be boiled down to b that simple?
what style do u think u guys are?

 

[over0]

Yes it's real stems from life experiences and trauma probably

 

[rilkeanheart]

Yes it's real stems from life experiences and trauma probably

ok now answer my last question what do u think u are

 

[Grilldaddy83]

What?

 

[glamourpursuer 2.0]

like that avoidant and anxious and secure, etc stuff? can things really be boiled down to b that simple?
what style do u think u guys are?

this thread is too high iq for me

 

[rilkeanheart]

What?

have u never heard of attachment styles? i thought this was something everyone knew ab

 

[Grilldaddy83]

have u never heard of attachment styles? i thought this was something everyone knew ab

No sry

 

[salchipapa]

Idk I don't talk to people

 

[bbylola]

Mine is prob disorganized attachment lol I try to work on it

 

[over0]

ok now answer my last question what do u think u are

Fearful avoident probably

 

[rilkeanheart]

No sry

i’ll come up w short definitions for u guys
secure : u feel comfy w closeness and trust, but ur also ok being on ur own
anxious : u crave closeness a lot, worry ab ppl pulling away or not caring enough
avoidant : u keep distance to feel safe, don’t like depending on others or them depending on u
fearful avoidant : u want closeness but also fear it, so u kinda push-pull in relationships
im not sure if others exist, these are the ones that came to mind
@glamourpursuer 2.0

 

[Scarz]

I’m not that unemployed sorry

 

[rilkeanheart]

I’m not that unemployed sorry

ur unemployed enough to reply to my thread n****r

 

[slopslinger]

it's just a label, just like u can generalize and organize anyrhing else. how you act on that information is the real question.

 

[VioletHeartsease]

it's just a label, just like u can generalize and organize anyrhing else. how you act on that information is the real question.

Agree with this n****r

 

[Scarz]

ur unemployed enough to reply to my thread n****r

Fair but not that unemployed

 

[glamourpursuer 2.0]

i’ll come up w short definitions for u guys
secure : u feel comfy w closeness and trust, but ur also ok being on ur own
anxious : u crave closeness a lot, worry ab ppl pulling away or not caring enough
avoidant : u keep distance to feel safe, don’t like depending on others or them depending on u
fearful avoidant : u want closeness but also fear it, so u kinda push-pull in relationships
im not sure if others exist, these are the ones that came to mind
@glamourpursuer 2.0

im anxious

 

[rilkeanheart]

it's just a label, just like u can generalize and organize anyrhing else. how you act on that information is the real question.

true

 

[Nenestar]

It's more nuanced than that. I feel like I'm more anxious when the relationship is going really well or really badly, but more avoidant when it's mundane.

 

[VioletHeartsease]

This is one of the cases where I think the value of the “diagnosis” is affirmative, i.e. search for identity through labels

 

[over0]

Agree with this n****r

Self hating black woman rages

 

[VioletHeartsease]

Self hating black woman rages

My name is Leshawna

 

[VioletHeartsease]

My name is Leshawna

What drives Americans to use prefixes such as “Le” or “De” or others

 

[rilkeanheart]

@slopslinger @VioletHeartsease u two seem to know a bit about this. if anxious & avoidant attachment both grow from the same root wound, what decides which path a person takes? is it purely the kind of environment they had, or could subtle differences in temperament & perception make two ppl live the same event but build opposite defenses?

 

[slopslinger]

true

I guess what was trying to say is just that its not a constructive system of thought, in general you shouldn't try to label so yourself and others so neatly.

 

[rilkeanheart]

I guess what was trying to say is just that it’s not a constructive system of thought, in general you shouldn't try to label so yourself and others so neatly.

yes i agree & also tell me which style u think u are?

 

[Dandelions]

Yeah, but why do people care about it so much? If you truly liked someone and you saw a future with them, you’d do anything to be with them. This attachment stuff is just excuses, excuses to sleep around or have a short term relationship or whatever.

It’s absolutely real, but very over exaggerated.

 

[slopslinger]

@slopslinger @VioletHeartsease u two seem to know a bit about this. if anxious & avoidant attachment both grow from the same root wound, what decides which path a person takes? is it purely the kind of environment they had, or could subtle differences in temperament & perception make two ppl live the same event but build opposite defenses?

I have no idea, but If I wanted to find out I would just look up whatever freud has to say abt it.

 

[rilkeanheart]

Yeah, but why do people care about it so much? If you truly liked someone and you saw a future with them, you’d do anything to be with them. This attachment stuff is just excuses, excuses to sleep around or have a short term relationship or whatever.

It’s absolutely real, but very over exaggerated.

attachment stuff isn’t an excuse. ppl react differently to trauma, and a lot of it happens subconsciously. they’re not sitting there planning to hurt anyone. for example, an avoidant person actually wants closeness, but their fear makes them pull back, so it looks like they don’t care when really they’re protecting themselves in the only way they know works.

 

[rilkeanheart]

I have no idea, but If I wanted to find out I would just look up whatever freud has to say abt it.

freud says i have penis envy

 

[Dandelions]

attachment stuff isn’t an excuse. ppl react differently to trauma, and a lot of it happens subconsciously. they’re not sitting there planning to hurt anyone. for example, an avoidant person actually wants closeness, but their fear makes them pull back, so it looks like they don’t care when really they’re protecting themselves in the only way they know works.

Yeah, I’m more so talking about the people who sit in TikTok comment sections self-diagnosing themselves with depression and bipolar and attachment issues.

For the people who actually have it, it’s a real thing.

 

[rilkeanheart]

Yeah, I’m more so talking about the people who sit in TikTok comment sections self-diagnosing themselves with depression and bipolar and attachment issues.

For the people who actually have it, it’s a real thing.

oh i seeee, yea it’s annoying seeing those lame ass self diagnosing tiktoks
so corny

 

[slopslinger]

Yeah, but why do people care about it so much? If you truly liked someone and you saw a future with them, you’d do anything to be with them. This attachment stuff is just excuses, excuses to sleep around or have a short term relationship or whatever.

It’s absolutely real, but very over exaggerated.

literally this people only entertain these delusions to feel special and excuse their behavior. just words that don't mean anything only good for manipulating people who don't know any better.

 

[rilkeanheart]

literally this people only entertain these delusions to feel special and excuse their behavior. just words that don't mean anything only good for manipulating people who don't know any better.

ppl who actually do have these attachment issues need therapy

 

[Dandelions]

ppl who actually do have these attachment issues need therapy

Yeah. I’d hate to be 9 months in a relationship with a girl who I think is the one just for her to randomly leave.

 

[slopslinger]

freud says i have penis envy

HA I remember u saying I was peggable jfl, or do you mean in the large sense where you just wanna act like a guy like grilling, playing sports, having conversations with ur friends without the cattiness, etc?

 

[VioletHeartsease]

@slopslinger @VioletHeartsease u two seem to know a bit about this. if anxious & avoidant attachment both grow from the same root wound, what decides which path a person takes? is it purely the kind of environment they had, or could subtle differences in temperament & perception make two ppl live the same event but build opposite defenses?

Hard to say, it’s a mixture of several things

Two notes: don’t consider these things as overly polarised
I even think that the two can be interchangeable depending on the situation

 

[n4evis]

like that avoidant and anxious and secure, etc stuff? can things really be boiled down to b that simple?
what style do u think u guys are?

i think i'm avoidant

 

[height]

Doesn't apply people are attached to their phones.

 

[rilkeanheart]

HA I remember u saying I was peggable jfl, or do you mean in the large sense where you just wanna act like a guy like grilling, playing sports, having conversations with ur friends without the cattiness, etc?

yes i feel penis envy in the way guys can blast roids & grill burgers and kick balls around happily
tbh i don’t experience much cattiness w my gfs irl, it depends on the girls u surround urself w. catty girls usually have lives that revolve around men, chasing male validation
but im sure all of us find ourselves chasing the validation of the opposite gender tho so im not judging rlly, it just gets to a point

 

[Barbie]

like that avoidant and anxious and secure, etc stuff? can things really be boiled down to b that simple?
what style do u think u guys are?

avoidant and anxious, brutal

 

[rilkeanheart]

avoidant and anxious, brutal

same for me tbh, i feel like that classifies as fearful avoidant mayb

 

[slopslinger]

yes i feel penis envy in the way guys can blast roids and grill burgers and kick balls around happily
tbh i don’t experience much cattiness w my gfs irl, it depends on the girls u surround urself w. catty girls usually have lives that revolve around men, chasing male validation
but im sure all of us find ourselves chasing the validation of the opposite gender tho so im not judging rlly, it just gets to a point

sounds exhausting u guys have period cramps too it's rly not fair

 

[glamourpursuer 2.0]

yes i feel penis envy in the way guys can blast roids & grill burgers and kick balls around happily
tbh i don’t experience much cattiness w my gfs irl, it depends on the girls u surround urself w. catty girls usually have lives that revolve around men, chasing male validation
but im sure all of us find ourselves chasing the validation of the opposite gender tho so im not judging rlly, it just gets to a point

whsts stopping you from blasting roids rn

 

[rilkeanheart]

sounds exhausting u guys have period cramps too it's rly not fair

wow u care so much ab womens issues king fuck periods bro fuck the patriarchy

 

[rilkeanheart]

whsts stopping you from blasting roids rn

having a choppedy voice have u heard the voice of women on steroids?

 

[glamourpursuer 2.0]

having a choppedy voice have u heard the voice of women on steroids?

get voice surgery idk pom

 

[glamourpursuer 2.0]

get voice surgery idk pom

bruh does that even exist im actually retarded

 

[VioletHeartsease]

bruh does that even exist im actually retarded

Yes

 

[lostinjerusalem]

shit is never that simple but thats the most simple way to catogrozie those things and i have no idea what i am